I had a hard time getting through school. Somehow motivation seemed to be my problem.

Want to know how I stayed with it?? I kept telling myself that the pain, heartache, and work that I had gone through to get there would all be in vain if I didn't finish. After all, I had agonized for three months over my entrance essay, my significant other decided that a San Francisco to San Jose relationship was too long distance for him, and I hated where I lived and I wasn't particularly happy with my job. By the time I encountered my motivation problems, I had overcome these other hurdles, but I was not far enough past them for the edge to have worn off the memories.

It's been a year now since I graduated and the edge has still not worn off those memories.

And I hate futility. I would have quit school in a second if not for those experiences. But having gone through those things because I was going to school ... If I had quit, then what would have been the point? Then I would have been without love, without a home and without a purpose - and all for naught.

I am still without love (of the romantic sort), but I have made a home, I have friends, and dammit I have a masters degree. Even now, I am not sure it was worth all the pain and heartache, but if that's what it took to get me through school, then maybe that's what needed to happen.

Yeah, me and my degree - all part of a master plan.

(no pun intended)