Ever experienced rejection from someone you never suspected would reject you? not because they made promises of love and fidelity, but simply because you didn't think you'd let them in enough that anything they did would hurt you? I can tell myself that I shouldn't feel this way. It's not like we ever had much of a relationship to begin with. We spent time together, never asking much more than that the other person listen. Understanding was optional. But even that's slacked off lately. My life is busy enough that I could pretend to myself that the distance didn't bother me. If they* were satisfied with the status quo, then I could live with that. If they wanted to renew the level of communication we once had, I'd be there, ready to listen.

But with one insignificant little decision, I have been effectively excluded and it really bothers me. This decision probably doesn't even have any significance for the person who made it. They were just doing what was most convenient for them at the time. It's only that I thought we had an understanding, and now I find that that's not the case.

I think I need a mushy movie and some time to cry and then everything will be better. It's been a long time since I cried.**

*incorrect usage, but the only way I can get the point across in a gender-neutral manner without using 'it'
** anybody who knows my phone number, please don't call me to offer sympathy. It's not that bad, it's not something I want to talk about, and I'll get over it soon. I'm probably just hormonal.