In my next life, I want to come back as an invertebrate. You know, something like a jellyfish, or a cat.

(I know, I know, cats have spines. But they're so darn flexible!)

However, my spine is a pain in the ass. And today I mean that literally.

And for those of you who may be snidely thinking to yourself that this may have something to do with my recent birthday, I'll tell you my back has been a problem since I was 16, when I was sliding across a linoleum floor in my Garfield slippers, fell, and couldn't walk for the next few days. So there.