THE BIG DEAL OF THE DAY

I like COPS because the criminals have messier bedrooms than I do, and it makes me feel good about myself. And I like Judge Judy because I think I am wiser than the dolts who give their credit cards to boyfriends of only two weeks duration or the simpletons who buy cars for $600.00 (pink slip not included) and then complain that they have discovered mechanical problems. They make me feel good about myself, too.