I don't often participate in gender bashing, but I thought this email that I received this morning was pretty darn funny. For your pleasure and amusement, I present Gender Bashing:

The Washington Post held a Style Invitational in which it was postulated that English has male and female nouns, and readers were asked to assign a gender to nouns of their choice, and explain their reasons

The best submissions...

Detective Novel -- Female
Because you're not supposed to peek at its end the minute you pick it up.

Swiss Army Knife -- Male
Because even though it appears useful for a wide variety of work, it spends most of its time just opening bottles.

Kidneys -- Female
Because they always go to the bathroom in pairs.

Penlight -- Male
Because it can be turned on very easily, but isn't very bright.

Hammer -- Male
Because it hasn't evolved much over the last 5,000 years but it's handy to have around and is good for killing spiders.

Tire -- Male
Because it goes bald and often is over-inflated.

Hot air balloon -- Male
Because to get it to go anywhere you have to light a fire under it. And, of course, there's the hot air part.

Web page -- Female
Because it is always getting hit on.

alternatively...

Web page -- Male
Because you have to wait for it to reload.

Shoe -- Male
Because it is usually unpolished, with its tongue hanging out.

Copier -- Female
Because once turned off, it takes a while to warm up. or -
Because it is an effective reproductive device when the right buttons are pushed. or -
Because it can wreak havoc when the wrong buttons are pushed.

Magic 8 Ball -- Male
Because it gives monosyllabic answers that usually indicate it did not pay attention to your question.

Ziploc bags -- Male
Because they hold everything in, but you can always see right through them.

Sponges -- Female
Because they are soft and squeezable and retain water.

Critic -- Female
What, this needs to be explained?

Subway -- Male
Because it uses the same old lines to pick up people.

Hourglass -- Female
Because over time, the weight shifts to the bottom