I've heard that when the phone company gives you a phone number, it should have been out of service for at least 6 months. Key term that: should have.

My current outgoing voicemail message goes thusly:

Hi, you've reached XXX XXX XXXX. If you're trying to reach Lorraine or PetCo, this is no longer their number and it's ok to hang up right now*. However, if you're trying to reach me, I can't come to the phone right now, so leave a message and I'll get back to you as soon as possible.

*I have to put the "hang up now" part in, because when I first got this number, someone was waiting till the outgoing message had ended before realizing that he wasn't getting Lorraine or Petco before hanging up, making me feel very loved until I realized that the 20 voicemails I had were all hangups. Fucker.

This strategy, however, does not protect me from calls I get when I'm home. Recent telephone conversation:

Me: Hello?
Person With Out-Of-Date Phone Book: Is this Petco?
Me: No, it's not.
PWOODPB: Is this XXX XXXX?
Me: Yes, it is.
PWOODPB: Is this Petco?
Me: ... (audible snicker)
PWOODPB: Uh, it says here in the phone book that this is the number for Petco.
Me: Then you have a really out of date phone book.
PWOODPB: Uh -
Me: Ok, bye.