Resolution update:

So I went to the dentist last night.

Good: the cleaning, after at least 7 years of no professional attention at all, took much less time than I thought it would. Bad: although the dental hygienist kept putting a topical anesthetic on my gums, it only seemed to affect my lips and tongue. I could still feel every poke and jab she made at my gums to scrape the tartar/plaque off my teeth (which apparently lived only below the gum line) and it hurt! Good: I got a flouride rinse, which I'm told will help prevent more plaque from getting to the hard-to-reach parts for a while. Bad: it damaged my taste buds. Dinner and breakfast were decidedly bland and unsatisfying affairs.

Oh, and the balls comment below? It's part of the physical therapy for my feet problem - I went out and bought new tennis balls last night and the plastic smell is really obnoxious. Especially first thing in the morning.