"How do you know when you're on a date or just hanging out?" It's the current question of the day. Sarah has her own thoughts on the matter. So do I.

I was once caught in a situation where the guy I was out with told me straight out that we weren't on a date, we were just hanging out.* Which was strange, since all through dinner I'd been sure that it was a date. Since then, I've been rather adamant about the definition of a date, and being clear about what's going on. Not that I've had much opportunity to get excited about it, but that's another story altogether.**

In any case, if the D-word doesn't get into the request and there is some question as to whether the outing is a date or not ... the only real criteria, other than romantic intentions on the part of both parties, that I can come up with is that you need some sort of advance notice, a minimum of 12 hours before the planned outing. Something where you can end the planning conversation with "So it's a date!" (which you might say to a good friend as well, but it works here.) And so both people can feel some sort of anticipation and nervousness - what's a date without some sweat? I mean, if you're not worried that they might not like you, then you're not interested enough.

So those are my scattered thoughts on date status - have I missed anything?

*His declaration was in response to my comment "it's been so long since I've been on a date ..." Once I was assured that we were not on a date, then I remembered all the errands I had to run, like returning my movies and picking up my dry cleaning. I don't think that was the response to "what should we do next" that he was looking for.

**I did ask someone out recently, and when I mentioned it to everyone - and I did mention it to everyone - almost every single person asked me pointedly "Is it really a date? Are you sure?" And I could confidently say that yes, it was a date because I had been careful to put that into the asking, as in "**, would you like to go to dinner with me sometime, like as a date?"