Reasons I'm not cool:

- I wear earplugs at concerts.

- I like these shoes.

- My idea of an indulgent Saturday night is 1) renting a "bonnet movie", 2) picking up some KFC, and 3) doing my slug impression on the couch (minus the slime) while watching the movie and eating ice cream.

There are more, lots more, but these are all that are coming to me now. Can you think of any more?