Two things:

1) Bacon Strips Bandages - for the really bad injuries.

2) LeiaScofield: i don't want to alarm you, but san francisco's hazard mitigation plan is written in comic sans font.
LeiaScofield: http://quake.abag.ca.gov/mitigation/ThePlan-Version-Mar05.pdf
LeiaScofield: the website itself is scary: http://quake.abag.ca.gov//mitigation/plan.html

I told Jessa, who responded with ...

Jessa: I don't know whether to laugh or scream
Jessa: *bangs head on desk instead*
Jessa: comedy and disaster recovery don't mix!