Archive for February, 2012
Holy crap, internet, I turn 40 tomorrow.
I don’t feel 40. By which I mean, I don’t feel old. Not really. I look at other 40 year-olds, and they look their age. I think it’s the weight of responsibility that I’ve managed to avoid thus far. No kids, no house, no real career. I may be carrying a few extra pounds, and have some wrinkles (they’re not *all* laugh lines, alas), but I think I’ve held up pretty well so far. I feel 25, I live like I’m 21, no reason why I shouldn’t look 30, right?
This year is going to be awesome for travel. Austin, surprise destination, San Antonio, Grand Canyon, Ashland, Las Vegas. And those are just the trips that are planned so far! All by October! If I manage my PTO well, there will be more trips. I have the rest of my 40′s to deal with my credit card, right? Right!
In any case, except for the number, the ‘holy shit’ factor, and the need to mark the occasion, 40 isn’t all that different from the last 10 years – I’m still trying to figure out who and what I want to be and do with my life when I grow up. I know I’m awesome and smart and funny and all those neat things, but I don’t feel like I’m doing anything with all that potential. As Sister Mary told my mother in the 8th grade, I am not living up to my potential. It’s a little late for kids and I’m not interested in owning a house, so … what? That’s something else to figure out.
This isn’t a very coherent post, so I’ll just wrap up with, ‘Here’s to the beginning of an unbelievable 4th decade!’