Make Your Garden Grow

It's a game and it has to be checked out, especially those who like to grow unusual things :)

Recent note from a friend:

I went to get a drink of water. That's all I wanted -- water. But the cooler near me was empty. So I walked down the hall to the other building, to the cooler there. Next to the water was a basket. And the basket was full of M&Ms. They were calling me. I could hear them, as I was filling my glass with healthy, non-caloric water.

I could not resist.

Sigh... :)
J

PostScript:
The M&Ms turned out to be about 50% yellow. Weird.


(I wish we had M&M's in our office - I make about 10 trips to the water cooler a day. On second thought, maybe it's better we don't have goodies on the premises.)

"My lips touched her nose at the water fountain ..." So began Andrew's romantic adventure with the ugly ("no, she's new") girl on the playground. What will this lead to??

I saw Ben Harper last night in San Jose. What a cool concert. I wish he had gotten up off his chair a little more, though. The man sits while he plays his guitar, road crew bringing him instrument after instrument as he needs them. I appreciate his skill and artistry with the music and the lyrics, but there's something about a live performance, when you want to see the artist get a little more into his own music. When I saw Tracy Chapman last week, she didn't move much, but at least she was standing and could move around. In fact, she did groove a little towards the end. It was nice.

That's all. There's someone watching over my shoulder, waiting to go to lunch. Later alligators.

Another Dinah link, The Barney Effect is priceless. Personally, I'm the dinosaur type, except that I don't eat Cap'n Crunch, I just drink the milk.

Update on yesterday's featured site: Dinah called me last night to inform me that not only does she use the site, but she helped to put it together. Wow. My friends just get cooler and cooler.

This site is so cool!!! I was led here by Dinah and her use of the word blicky. I've only gotten through the B's, but it's a good laugh (but then, I'm one of those people who like reading dictionaries).

The trouble with being an optimist is that people think you don't know what's going on.

Is this true? Why does one have to be depressed and cynical just because they "know what's going on"? This implies that hope is not an option.

14 hours in my bed have done bad things to my back, but my head feels better.

Mark has chosen show tunes for our listening pleasure today. Well, it worked for some, I don't think it's working for others. But when there are 4 people in the office from such diverse backgrounds, it's difficult finding something everyone will like. So we don't often try. It's every *man for *self (and whoever can get to Bjoern's computer first :)

Bjoern just took me for a walk. I feel like a pet. But I feel better. Walks are good.

The swing between narcolepsy and insomnia is getting exhausting.

I don't know how much longer I can keep this up.

falling ...

asleep ...

can't ...

keep ...

eyes ...

open ...

Our Friend of the Week is Stefan. This is his last real week with us at SoftDevices before he goes on vacation and then back to Germany. We will be sad to see him go (even though I get his desk when he's gone). Personally, I will miss talking to the back of his computer monitor, seeing only the ends of his long legs poking out into view. I'm sorry I didn't get to know him better. Well, we still have 4 days, who knows what could happen?!

However, this movie is silly.

Carmen Miranda is cool.

Barter
Life has a loveliness to sell,
All beautiful and splendid things,
Blue waves whitened on a cliff,
Soaring fire that sways and sings ...
Spend all you have for loveliness,
Buy it and never count the cost;
For one white singing hour of peace
Count many a year of strife well lost,
And for a breath of ecstasy
Give all you have been, or could be.

Sara Teasdale

It's about friggin' time. A simple case of a missed pair of quotes. Now everything works. Now if I can just come up with something creative for the homepage so that folks can find this page .... Well, I have about 4 hours till I have to be at work. I think I can come up with something functional, if not pretty. Wish me luck!

Insomnia SUCKS!!!
Notice the time of the post. My feet itch. My eyes won't stay closed. And I know I am looking forward to a sleepy Monday.
I had such high hopes for tomorrow (read: later today). I got almost everything on my weekend List of Things To Do done, I was going to get stuff done at work, finish up the last few things on that LTTD after work, and get to bed at a reasonable hour, feeling good about myself, the world around me, and the direction my life is taking. Instead, I will sit at my desk, making typing noises so that the guys I work with think I'm doing something constructive, counting the hours/minutes/seconds until I can go home and sleep. Which I may or may not be able to do once I can rationalize going home. Depends on how long this run of insomnia lasts.
Can I say it again??? Insomnia SUCKS!!!!
(and I can't get the javascript on this page to work, even though I've been working on it for the past 1 1/2 hours.) Argh!

What's good about the internet browsing ability on the Palm Vx? According to some, it's better than staring at the bathroom wallpaper while you're doing your business. Other than that, it's too early in the development cycle for it to be very useful. I'll just wait till I can justify spending $395 on a personal organizer. By then, we should be able to do things like plan stuff with impunity, not to mention the email and chatting capability.

Lord, what's happened to me?? It's Saturday and I'm at work. What's more, I'm working at work.

I saw Tracy Chapman in concert last night at the Greek Theater in Berkeley. Wow. I have to admit that I wasn't really into her music until last night. I have 1 cd, bought because I liked one song. I think I'll buy some more when I have the opportunity. The music was good all night long, but it wasn't until 1/2 through the concert that the show got exciting. I'd see her again. Any time. She's going to be in San Jose next week - anyone going???

Ha!! There are some who might prefer this term to my current nickname, "The Exaspirator." Not to be confused with "The Exacerbator." Notice the last sentence in the history of the word - how did it go from being a Muslim deity to describing only women???

The Word of the Day for Friday August 25, 2000:

termagant \TUR-muh-gunt\, noun:
A scolding, nagging, bad-tempered woman; a shrew.

adjective:
Overbearing; shrewish; scolding.
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Termagant comes from Middle English Termagaunt, alteration of Tervagant, from Old French. Termagant was an imaginary being supposed by ignorant medieval Christians to be a Muslim deity. He (for Termagant was male) is represented in the medieval morality plays, farces, and puppet shows as extremely violent and turbulent. By the sixteenth century, termagant was being used for a boisterous, brawling, turbulent person of either sex, but eventually it came to refer only to women.

Synonyms: shrew, virago, dragon, scold, Xantippe.

Inspirational Quote of the Day:
Go forth seeking adventure. Open your eyes, your ears, your mind, your heart, your spirit and you'll find adventure everywhere.... It is in your daily work, whether you are keeping books, making sales, teaching school, building bridges, driving a truck ...Think of whatever you are doing as an adventure and watch your life change for the better.
--Wilfred A. Peterson

How do you react to roadblocks?? How do you react when you make a wrong turn? What happens to your pulse when you find that you haven't a clue where you are, how you got there, or how to get back to where you want to be? Are you frantic? Or do you say, what the hell, it's an adventure - let's see something we've never seen before and be better for the experience!
I have found that attitude can make a huge difference in whether you have a good day or a bad day. Two people, experiencing the same thing at the same time, will have completely different memories of the event, depending on their attitude.
It's not something you can change overnight, but it is definitely something worth working towards.

So my ex wrote to me today. Three months to the day since we broke up. I never expected to hear from him again, really. I am still sorting through the emotions to figure out what it is I'm feeling. I think the anger has passed (although it may just require visual stimuli to get it going again), and the sadness isn't hitting me like a ton of bricks, and I'm lonely, but not especially for him. Hmmm... I don't think I'm over him, but maybe I'm moving on? This would be a big improvement over previous splits. A BIG improvement. We'll have to see what happens if we ever see each other again. I'm not going to suggest it, though. I don't want to know.

I was shamed today because I don't talk about my friends enough on this site. Today's Friend of the Day is Bjoern. We work together at International SoftDevices Corp. He's cool. We talk about philosophy, religion, and the differences in dating between the United States and Germany. He sits 1 1/2 meters from me and we email each other all day about things like German chocolate, what cd to play, and where to go for lunch.

Ohmygosh! BareNaked Ladies tickets go on sale today. I don't like everything they do, but their live shows can't be beat. The only problem is that I don't know anyone else who likes them as much as I do. Hmmm... I'll buy one more ticket, just in case.

I signed up for a Word of the Day mailing last week and I love the words they send out. Today's Word of the Day for Wednesday August 16, 2000:

megalomania \meg-uh-lo-MAY-nee-ah; -nyuh\, noun:
1. A mania for grandiose or extravagant things or actions.
2. A mental disorder characterized by delusions of grandeur.
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Megalomania is Scientific Latin, from the Greek elements
megal-, great + mania, madness.

I find that not enough people express these this particular form of madness. Perhaps we wouldn't have the same issues with low self-esteem if we thought we were our own version of God.

So He called today. This shouldn't make me as giddy as I am. After all, it's nothing serious, right? It started out casual and nothing has happened to change the status quo. I suppose I'm lonely. Or maybe it's just that I really like this guy, he's cute and he's paying attention to me. This is usually a recipe for disaster, as far as my love life goes. Oh well, if we applied every learned lesson we'd never be able to say, but I thought it'd be different this time, right?

On that same note, the Stand Up guy hasn't called. Maybe he thinks that after making me wait 3 hours for him and not getting an apology I'd actually want to call him. Don't get me wrong, I'm desperate enough at this point that I probably would, if not for Him and his oh-so-timely interest. But I - or rather, my pride - has been saved from that particular fate-worse-than-death.

And on a related note, the guy from work is acting weird and I don't know what to do. In this case, "weird" can be translated into interested when I'm not interested in him.

I also have not one, but two people who I thought had disappeared from my life trying to get back in. One took himself away, the other was sorta pushed out. Either way, my dilemma is not that I hold a grudge against either one. I have never been the type to carry around those "poor me, you denied me parental support at a tender age and I'll be in therapy rest of my life." No, not my style. Rather, the problem is that they've been out of my life for so long that I really don't have anything to talk to them about. "Well, let's see, since junior high, I've ..." Can you understand my dilemma?

It's a Monday and the Word of the Day is:
crapulous \KRAP-yuh-lus\, adjective:
1. Suffering the effects of, or derived from, or suggestive of
gross intemperance, especially in drinking; as, a crapulous
stomach.
2. Marked by gross intemperance, especially in drinking; as, a
crapulous old [1]reprobate.
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Crapulous is from Late Latin crapulosus, from Latin crapula,
from Greek kraipale, drunkenness and its consequences, nausea,
sickness, and headache.

Have I mentioned how much I like this site?? I don't want to gush, but, well, gushing aside, it's wonderful. Gush, gush, gush. 'Nuff said.

Five Laws
1. Books are for use.
2. Every book its reader.
3. Every reader his book.
4. Save the time of the reader.
5. A library is a growing organism.
Shiyali Ramamrita Ranganathan, Five Laws of Library Science (1931)

I just had dinner with my friend Jenny. She's the coolest. And the dinner was pretty cool, too. Any time you can satisfy your hunger for only $2.50, and splurge on some te frio for an extra $.80, that's gotta be worth thinkin' about.

I have come to the conclusion that, while my tast in men leaves something to be desired, I have great taste in friends. I would never have been able to get my master's project turned in in time without the assistance of three friends on three separate occassions. Breakups would not be nearly so satisfying without my friends there to tell me what a jerk that guy was. And they can usually point out to me when I'm making a mistake with a new one. And there's always someone available to pick me up from the airport.

I have a friend who laments that all of his romantic relationships have turned into friendships. To me, that's the best part. Lovers come and go (no pun intended), but friends will generally stay forever. Very often, it takes as much work to maintain a frienship as it does a romantic relationship - and when the lovey-dovey stuff is all over with, you can go hang with your friends and feel better about yourself. And the older I get, the better the friendships get.

So here's to you, Marisa, Jenny, Jen, Joey, Joe, Kristy, and all the others who have been there for me. I hope that when all is said and done, that I can honestly say I gave as much as I received.

So last night I had this overwhelming urge to clean. Clean my closets, my bathroom (YUCK!), my life. I managed to get through the bathroom, the dresser and one closet. Since I can't do anything about my apartment as I sit here at work, I'll clean up my web site. This means condense, get rid of the unnecessary, slough off the old, the tired, that which no longer reflects the essence of ME. And since personal web sites are all about reflecting the personal essences of those who pay the money to maintain them (oops, gotta pay that bill, too), then this seems like a worthy project to undertake on my lunch break.

What this means for you, gentle reader, is that I will be including more links, just so that I can finally get rid of those useless pages that just take up space (like the 4 extra bottles of shampoo and conditioner I found in my shower last night). The only things I don't get rid of are my books and my cds. So I guess I'll keep the dog after all. She doesn't take up much space, even in real life.

Please ignore the posting below - something happened ... and then other things happened and then ... chaos. It was a mistake. It wasn't my fault. I'm the victim here. Blame someone else! Just don't bother reading the post below. It's a waste of your time and it embarasses me. A little. Ok, it's just a waste of your time and it makes me feel bad that you would waste your time here. Especially since I've tried so hard to make your stay enjoyable. Fruity drinks anyone?

So last night I had this overwhelming urge to clean. Clean my closets, my bathroom (YUCK!), my life. I managed to get through the bathroom, the dresser and one closet. Since I can't do anything about my apartment as I sit here at work, I'll clean up my web site. This means condense, get rid of the unnecessary, slough off the old, the tired, that which no longer reflects the essence of ME. And since personal web sites are all about reflecting the personal essences of those who pay the money to maintain them (oops, gotta pay that bill, too), then this seems like a worthy project to undertake on my lunch break.

What this means for you, gentle reader, is that I will be including more links, just so that I can finally get rid of those useless pages that just take up space (like the 4 extra bottles of shampoo and conditioner I found in my shower last night). The only things I don't get rid of are my books and my cds. So I guess I'll keep the

Have I mentioned the awesome site that someone unwisely pointed me to?? It's at http://mop.diaryland.com. I say unwisely because I tend to get caught up in the stories told here and have trouble getting back to work. If I could get some music around here, I'd be much more productive and I wouldn't feel the need to surf.

I was stood up recently. It was an aweful feeling. The bad part was not so much that someone would do that to me (but how much trouble is a 30 second phone call, huh?? Would it really have put him out so much??), but that I would wait around and let it happen to me. It's almost like I said it was ok, go ahead, push me around and show who's really got the power in this relationship.

Too bad for him, he was on shaky ground already. In a situation that I wasn't sure I wanted to be in in the first place, he made it clear that he didn't care if I was there. Also, someone I had had a crush on a long time ago decided that night was the time to tell me that he was interested. In me. I'm pretty sure this is going to be casual, but in the meantime, I have found the backbone (read: self-esteem) to stand up to FlakeBoy and not take any more of his shit. He's not taking it well :)

Road trips. I think more people should take them.

I spent some time with a friend from a small town last night. He doesn't get out of town much and he doesn't see the need to. He talks about other cultures and ethnicities like we're back in the 50's. Occassionally I have to take him aside and tell him that he can think what he wants, but if he keeps talking about the Asians/Hispanics/Homosexuals out loud, he's going to get his ass kicked by the large group of them somewhere in hearing distance. Sometimes I think perhaps I'm the weirdo - we grew up in the same place, in the same family, etc. - and then I come back to my senses and realize that moving away from there got me out of an environment that fosters and approves of small-mindedness and bigotry. Who knows? I would probably support Bush and never appreciate what a total dork he is :) And who would want to pass up an opportunity like that?

What makes me sad is that this is most of America. In fact, it is most of the world. It is human nature that any place where there is a relatively small, homogeneous group of people, there will grow an intolerance for outsiders/minorities/OTHERS. Sometimes, it doesn't even have to be a small, homogeneous group in fact - if people perceive that their group is somehow threatened by another group (even if it is the simple existence of that other group, and the only threat they pose is change), then intolerance miraculously appears. For instance, in California, there is no small, homogeneous group of people in the whole state (except Los Altos). You'd think that would make people more accepting of other cultures and more tolerant of things that are not a daily part of their life. But I find that, except in certain very special places, this is not the case at all. And it makes me sad. And sometimes I get depressed about it - when will it change? Can it change? I have a friend who met someone recently who did not believe in basic human rights. It is hard to understand this, but I have to accept his viewpoint in order to stay true to my own. The paradox is very diffiicult to get used to. Argh!!