Be your own Disneyland.

Friday, March 30

Question of the Day: "What am I, your monkey boy?"

which led to ...

Mark's Nickname du Jour: Monkey Boy

There's lots of good stuff I'd love to have on this site, but blogger isn't updating properly. I'm glad the backend is working better, but I wish I could post. (sniffle)

In other news, I'm off to Dallas tonight, to visit with my dad and see U2 on Tuesday. And do some boot-scootin', and watch some movies, and shop a bit, and eat a lot and generally have a really good time.

Interesting thing, despite the fact that my dad wasn't around for most of the formative years of my life, we've turned out to be pretty good friends with pretty similar ideas about life and love. In fact, it was not having him around as a father figure has made it possible for us to be friends.

Thursday, March 29

The men in my life have been wreaking all sorts of havoc the past few weeks. Some of it good, some of it bad. All of it interesting, at least to me. Oh, and J, my "me too" partner. And that's all I'm going to say about that.

Can I be more vague?? Hmmm...

On a slightly related note, I've noticed an attitude lately that is bothering me. It bothers me almost as much as the opposite attitude. Now, I've been single for a while. Almost a year, in fact. More than occassionally, less than frequently, I mention my desire to end this state. Yes, I would like to have someone in my life. And what do I hear?

"I like being by myself"
"You have to like yourself before you can be with someone else"
"Don't you like yourself enough to be ok being single?"
(the opposite being "We have to get you married" and "I just want you to meet a nice boy!")

Yes, I like myself. Yes, I do just fine being by myself. Is it so wrong to want to be with someone else for a change?? I happen to like having someone's arms around me. I like having someone around to bounce ideas off of, regardless of their level of inanity. I like being around someone who wants to be with me, not just be with me for a bit before heading off to see the rest of his friends.

I don't really see this as a lack of self-confidence or a character flaw. Just as I don't see my aversion to getting married and start having kids as a lack of goals or a character flaw. I am a work in progress, and I'll get where I'm going eventually, without all the good-natured, well-meaning reminders of who or how I should be.

So there.

Wednesday, March 28

A chocolate shake and some good music (not to mention other happy people in the office), and the day is sunny again.

Thank you, Dinah.

Questions that should have had a Yes answer

I am feeling less bad now.

I don't know if hearing from the ex for the first time in 6 months, only to have him tell you that he is moving in with the girl with whom he went on a date while you two were still seeing each other, the date that was not the reason, but the act that finally caused you to break up, is particularly freaky. Ugly, yes, but not really freaky.

Can I have some freaky?? I need some fun right now.

Tuesday, March 27

I scored 48% on the Gay-o-Meter. Apparently I am a happy and well-adjusted hetero.

Whew! Good stuff to know. Sometimes I wonder about my happiness.

Via Jessajune, via Dave

Things we should practice saying and get used to hearing.

From Geno, How to Dance Properly.

I've been doing it all wrong all these years. I need to get out more often.

The Thought of the Day

"In a stunning display of the disastrous effects of an underfunded education program, a bunch of complete fucking morons in - you guessed it - Mississippi want to put a plaque reading, "In God We Trust" in every classroom, auditorium, and cafeteria in the state, because this misguided bunch of inbred troglodytes seems to believe that "In God We Trust" is a translation of the National Motto, "E Pluribus Unum." While both phrases, by law, appear on every denomination of US currency, this does not necessarily mean that they are intrinsic of one another; much in the same way that a rock sitting next to a tree doesn't imply that rocks are made of wood. In case you're wondering, it means, "from the many comes the whole." This movement is pending in the state legislature, and nobody has caught the mistake...let's just wait and see what happens. Sort of ironic, the fools want the State to sanction Christian supremacy by mistranslating a phrase which celebrates the strength of diversity. Huh...Time to run for the hills, evidently."

I like that line: "Sort of ironic, the fools want the State to sanction Christian supremacy by mistranslating a phrase which celebrates the strength of diversity."

Monday, March 26

From Edmond, 3/16/01:

"Censorship is like eating potato chips. You're never satisfied; after the bag is gone, you want more.

In my opinion, the world would better if everyone was like a well-written mail server -- voluntarily conservative when sending and liberal when receiving."

I want something upbeat and fluffy to listen to, but all I have is sad love-song music. It's bringing tears to my eyes. Or maybe I have allergies.

Sometimes change is neither good nor bad, in the larger scheme of things. In the big picture, it just is - that's the way the universe is set up. But that doesn't mean that it doesn't suck.

Am I the only one who is not getting email updates when people post comments to my site??

Patti has a wonderful way with words.

Friday, March 23

Have you always wanted to meet Jish ? Or do you know him already and think you can find him wherever he is? Either way, you gotta play this game:

It'll test your Jishdar (aka, Jish-Radar).

Thanks, Michael and Ari for providing the entertainment!



The Match That Could Change SoftDevices Forever!!!!

Mark "Talented Toes" Bakalor and Stefan "King Wundrak" Wundrak will be mudwrestling to see who gets to use option #5 of the ringer on their cell phone!!

No, no wait. Cancel that. Now they're going to fight over whether or not Stefan will marry the elder Princess of Sweden for at least 6 months and father her child within 1 year. A house is on the line.

A princess is on the line, Niklas comments.

Oops, now Niklas wants to get into the action, fearing that the honor of his princess is being questioned.

Lucky me, Mark wrote me a limerick too:

There once was a woman named Kristin
Whose job testing tech did consist in
Though conclusions forgone
'Bout Mister Amazon
Wedding's off, Kristin still does persist in

I'm still trying to make sense of it, but I am assured it's just fine.

And finally ...

Someone wrote a poem for me!! Redcap wrote me a limerick:

There was a young woman named Kristin.
She met a cute guy and she kissed him.
They went out on some dates
Then gave in to their fates
Now she's playing Iseult to his Tristan.

I am so flattered! I'm not sure how I feel being compared to Iseult, but hey, I hear Tristan was a babe.

And no one's ever written a poem for me before.

Cool Line of the Day: "And this one flies in the face like a blind drunk sparrow."

From a joke sent by J

... and then I read a post like this and the day seems a little brighter.

I love "me too" conversations. I knew I wasn't crazy, but it's nice to know I'm not alone. And it's great to know that I could help a good friend.

I think perhaps that I am not going to have such a wonderful day as I would wish. I am already taking things too personally.

I can tell myself to chill till the cows come home, but it doesn't really help.

Thursday, March 22

Today's Word of the Day is abulia: Loss or impairment of the ability to act or to make decisions.

Something I am afflicted with often.

Typical date dialogue:
So, what do you want to do now?
I don't know. What do you want to do?
(ad infinitum, till someone gets tired of the repetition and makes a friggin' decision)

Or at least, that's what I imagine would be said on a date. I don't really remember what happens on dates. It's been a long time.

Wednesday, March 21

Mark has found the unofficial website for the place we're going to for lunch. Take a look. It's a hoot. And a holler. If you like that sort of thing.

Maybe I should make an unofficial site for my favorite restaurant, Taqueria Los Charros.

When I was very little, my relationship with my grandma was so close that I used to call her Mom, while my mom was Mommy. I know it pained her when I got to be old enough to start calling her Grandma.

I wish the fact that she lives 3 hours away and doesn't have email didn't have such an effect on how much we communicate. But that's a failing of mine that I have to overcome.

I was lucky to have more than one mom-figure in my life.

Today's Worthless Word of the Day, as brought to us by Redcap is pandiculation :
a stretching out when drowsy or when waking; loosely used for 'yawning'

I do a lot of this. All day long.

Today's Aquarius Horoscope

Truly amazing shit happens, sometimes. Occasionally, the Goddess sends some sweet Cosmic energy your way, and when that happens there's no telling what kinds of positivity are likely to go down. Freakiness abounds as the Moon, presently in your sign, and your ruling planet move into an intensely favorable aspect. Be a crazy bitch, the universe is giving you a lot of leeway.

Wow. I didn't realize the day had so much potential. I wonder if it has anything to do with the dark purple nail polish I put on last night.

Tuesday, March 20

Twue, too twue.

All the goddess wants from you is a little originality and spontaneous brilliance, a much easier proposition now that it's Spring. As the world around you warms and grows and transforms, it would be wise of you to go out of your way to permit a complimentary spate of evolution and rebirth in your cranial region. Life is adaptation, and little else.

I think I'm too tired today for this. Maybe tomorrow.

Somehow, it seems fitting that Jish would find this:

Get Your Girlfriend to Ditch Her Friends:
She’s already got you—what does she need the rest of ’em for?

As my uncle wrote this morning, "Some will laugh, some will get mad, and even some will get even. But all will have an opinion."

"With the high rate of attacks on women in secluded parking lots, especially during evening hours, the Melbourne City Council has established a "Women Only" parking lot. Even the parking lot attendants are exclusively female so that a comfortable and safe environment is created for patrons. Here is a link to the first picture available of this world-first Women Only parking lot in Australia."

This is way too much fun for someone who got, at most, 3 hours of sleep last night. Just wave your mouse around and, presto! instant mesmerization!

Monday, March 19

Alcohol Exposure Makes Perceiving Emotions Harder

Um, was anyone under the impression that exposure to alcohol made people more sensitive??

Is it me, or does it seem as though a lot of money is being spent to confirm the obvious?

2! Count 'em, 2! good horoscopes for today:

Luck is on your side when it comes to influencing groups and friends. Consider participating in artistic, creative activities. Now is a great time to travel, find a new lifestyle, or create more beauty in your life. Take center stage in regard to cultural institutions, and be confident that people will rally around you. Think of ways to raise funds to promote your ideas about social programs.

and ...

Bust a little ass, groove-up your attitude, and then sit back and watch the magic flow into your life. The Moon moves into your sign on this last full day of Winter, giving you special access to the sweetness going down over the next few days. Spring should give your dreams and your ambitions a much-needed shot in the proverbial arm. Let yourself transform with the seasons.

Today is going to be a good day.

Saturday, March 17

I'm Home for the Annual Booboolina Family St. Patrick's Day celebration this weekend. Yes, we're Irish. Very Irish. Well, ok, maybe we're more Irish-American than Irish, but still... We did the whole corned beef and boiled cabbage deal. Didn't forget the boiled potatoes or the boiled carrots either. And best of all, Mom made her famous Irish bread.

And there was the beer and whiskey, too. A lot of it.

I separated out all the green and yellow M&M's from the blue and pink M&M's so that our candy bowls would be in the spirit of the season.
Teresa educated us on the difference b/w real and mythical vampires
Dave has an incredible memory for details of sitcoms most of us were too young to watch the first time around. And he related most of them to us.
Teresa didn't remember details so well, but she could sing the theme song from any one of them.
There is a group of us who watch way too much X-Files, and have strong feelings about the direction the show has taken in this past season

There's more. Much more. But it's midnight and I did all the dishes from the dinner for 25 people. I'm tired.

I hope everyone had a safe and fun St. Pat's Day.

Friday, March 16

Even though I'm leaving town tonight for the weekend, I went to the market last night for some stuff that I could not live without.

List of Emergency Purchases:
Toilet paper
Orange juice
Pre-packaged pizza crusts

As of this afternoon, all I've used is the first item. Rethinking the term "emergency" as it applies to things that can or cannot wait till I get back.

Thursday, March 15

Saving us from ourselves: Dave, a can of soup, and a useless can opener.

Glowing chicken? Apparently it's normal in Australia.

Linkage from Jerwin

Wednesday, March 14

Good headlines for today:

Just Thinking About Work May Trigger Stress

Stressed Out Social Butterflies at Risk for Colds

Bush U-turn angers environmentalists

His next book is going to be about how to understand Mark in one thousand ways.

Mark isn't as complicated, but it's fun to make stuff up.

Niklas is printing out his book on how to understand Swedish people in one thousand different ways. Apparently they are a very complicated people.

Tuesday, March 13

Note: I am so not into online romances. If you're looking for love online, I'm not the one for you. Please don't bother with the contact info on the right. Those are provided for people who want an email or chat buddy. Who I'd be happy to accomodate. Friends! Friends are good!

I may be single and not happy about it, but meeting people virtually to change the situation is not my style.

"Many people live as if life were a dress rehearsal for some later date."

Thinkin' big thoughts on how to not make this the case for my life.

Monday, March 12


My friend who co-wrote this had a difficult time with this project, especially when it came to the face-to-face interviews. She heard some terrible stories, and she experienced a lot of emotional pain on behalf of these women. I can only hope that this work she put her heart into benefits more survivors.

Survivors. Sounds like they've been through a war, or a natural disaster, doesn't it? I heard some of the stories. They deserve to be called survivors.

I just learned firsthand why so many people object to Eminem.

I don't much like him either.

You know you live in Silicon Valley when ....

Courtesy of GirlHacker.

Friday, March 9

Some men are born. Some men are made. Some men need to be recalled.

Via Dinah:

Ask Calvin's Dad

Ha! I am amus-ed. And muchly so.


With millions of unwanted and homeless children, this is a pretty weak justification for cloning.


Everything I've read and been exposed to lately points to the need to simplify. You'd think that a girl who is obsessed with open space and living in a studio apartment wouldn't have a lot of stuff to clutter up her life to begin with, but you'd be wrong. There's a lot of room for improvement.

Darn it.

Everybody's going to SXSW.
What am I going to read while they are gone??

Thursday, March 8

So much for 'driven' and 'efficient'. So far today, I have
read every blog
balanced my checkbook
paid my credit card bill
posted quite a bit here
made an appointment to get my taxes done
made notes about things to do to the company site
noted comments others have made about what to do with the company site
had a wonderful lunch with Dinah, where I did my "low blood sugar girl reacting to bad service" bit, for her entertainment, of course.
cleaned out my email inbox, answered some email

I still have the list that I made this morning of things I need to get done. About three quarters of the way down the page, I have drawn a line, indicating that we're getting into personal stuff here. The plan was to work on the items above the line and I'd work the other things in as time allowed, or as a break from the work stuff.

As it stands, every item below the line is crossed off, while nothing has been accomplished above the line. In fact, there are a few items that had to be added, scribbled in as space permitted on the side.

Tomorrow is going to be busy.

Oh, this is so cool!!!

Via Dinah.

I'm not a feminist, but .... oh, wait. Yes, I am.

Via Frykitty

Word O' The Day: Efficient

why can’t you figure out a way to be happy all the time?

My name is Ken, and my friends call me Worm Man. I am not a super hero, just a farmer.

Via Jerwin.

The Earth at Night.

Mucho cool-o.

Via Julie.

Wednesday, March 7

'Student fireworks factory' caused China school blast

"... children as young as eight were putting fuses into firecrackers when the explosion occurred.... the site was littered with paper used to wrap firecrackers although village officials have denied that the school was being used to make fireworks .... there have been reports of schools using children to assemble toys, collect palm nuts or cultivate vegetables to help boost school funds. Some have even been known to work in mines and other labor-intensive activities."

This article makes you wonder if the Chinese school system actually teaches its students anything, or if it's just evolving into a source of convenient child labor.

Two! count 'em, two! kitty links, kindly provided by Dinah:
Navel checks it out
here kitty

Nickname du Jour: Mark "Talented Toes" Bakalor.

The result of his recent encounter with a particularly vicious paper cutter.

Via Elise:
"Ladies with titties are a sight people have already gotten used to, but guys in briefs are an outrage."

The double standard here is making me dizzy.

Sidenote: What, as opposed to those ladies without titties?

It's the middle of winter, 58 °F and sunny.

I love living in California.

Go visit It's a slog.

Finally, hats off to John, who's created in response to the proposal by ICANN to not only limit who can register .org domain names in the future, but take away existing .org domain names from people who do not fit into their definition of a non-profit organization.

Tuesday, March 6

Succumbing to a bad case of the munchies, I got myself an It's-It chocolate-covered oatmeal cookie-ice cream sandwich. Interesting, to say the least. Not enough chocolate and the cookies are a bit dry, but the ice cream is pretty darn good. Yum.

News Flash!!

Family Support Helps Prevent Teen Suicide

Self evident line: "... a sense of emotional well-being seems to be especially beneficial for teen girls and a high grade point average seems to protect teen boys from contemplating suicide."

Horrifying line: "... Suicide is the third leading cause of death in US youth aged 10 to 19, with suicide rates in the past decade increasing the most in black and other minority youth."


Monday, March 5

Linky love:

Via Mighty Girl, 3/5/01:
the coolest party idea since the massage party idea.

Via Peter:
David Gaddis' Piercing. Beautiful.

In an article on the effect that the BSE and the foot-and-mouth viruses have had on European eating habits, this Italian butcher defines the connection between food and culture:
Life Without Beef:
"Don't take away my Florentine beefsteak," pleads butcher Dario Cecchini. "All of the Tuscan Renaissance is in it, all the poetry of Dante."

Ha!! Via FryKitty:
Obscene Interiors.

Don't worry, it won't offend virgin eyes. That is, unless experiencing bad interior design puts a blemish on your soul.

Via Firda:

Cereal Name Transmogrifier:
Mine?? Marshmallow Bananaspecks

Dying Words of Famous People

Freak Astrology:
Back off on the whole uniqueness and independence bit today. Try to play the game with a straight face and see if you can't win enough confidence and authority to be left alone. A little hard work and painful scrutiny can pay-off large at this time. The truth of the matter is: you're going to need at least some amount of help if your dreams are to ever happen. Be nice.

I don't know about that last bit.

Sent to me this morning by my stepmother:

Our Deepest Fear
by Marianne Williamson, A Return to Love
Read by Nelson Mandella during his 1994 inauguration speech.

"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, who are we to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented and fabulous?

Actually, who are you not to be?...

You playing small doesn't serve the world. There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so other people won't feel insecure around you...And as we let our light shine, we unconsciously give other people permission to do the same. As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others!"

Sunday, March 4

Well, it's 1 p.m. I've been awake since 11:00, but I haven't yet gotten out of bed. Granted, I've been on the phone for the past hour, but ...

What a wonderful way to start the day :)

Saturday, March 3

How cosmopolitan do I feel? Last night I had dinner with 6 guys, one each from Finland, Holland, Israel, Australia, Canada and... um, I don't know where the last guy was from. And they were all handsome. Or maybe I just made them look better by comparison.

And despite my three years spent in SF, they knew North Beach better than I did. I guess that means that I have to spend more time there. Ho, hum.

Friday, March 2

All my posts in one easy-to-read entry ...

A few of my favorites who've disappeared recently (sniffle)

Waferbaby (temporarily)

In other news, informed everyone yesterday of this plan from ICANN [via Slashdot]: "There are apparently plans to reinstate the old limits on .org domains - if you aren't a non-profit corporation, you won't be permitted to register or keep a .org domain."

Does that mean that those of us who have registered .org's will be reimbursed??

On another note entirely, straight from LYD comes this little gem. I wonder if this phone can reach God??

And things I should think about in my copious spare time, the Perfect Job and Love.

Finally, just when you were about to fall asleep (assuming you've gotten this far in the first place): from Davezilla comes this link. Reading Dave's commentary proves much more fun than looking at the site.

Revelation of the Day:
Pointed out by Jessajune, today's date:

3/2/1 (contact?)

Thursday, March 1

So, I saved up again and spent the afternoon reading The Bleat. Yes, I do work during the day, but it's been a little slow and so ... I present the bits I liked best since the last time:

Tears. Big hot tears and a few sobs, which were easily chased away by flying her off to the sofa for a game of funny sounds and feet-chewing. I’m damn glad the adult world doesn’t operate this way. Someone gets hurt by something you said at the office, and you have to make lip-farts, pull Kabuki expressions and chomp on their toes.

I love DeNiro, but if you chopped off his index fingers you remove 50 percent of his physical repertoire. Kevin Costner’s performance reminds us why he was once a movie star.... was one of those smooth unctuous bits of California blarney no one could make with a straight face today. Except Kathy Lee Crosby, and her face would be straight only because she’s had her facial muscles novacained into permanent cheerfulness.

I love grocery stores. Where else can you get square bagels stuffed with cream cheese, individually sealed and endorsed by a smiling imp made entirely of dough?

Besides hell, I mean

... ten patterns, bright contrasts, a variety of tactile surfaces, all designed to jolt & jumpstart baby’s brain. I wonder what Beethoven and Einstein looked at. Probably a wall. With a crack. Or some burlap.

A word of encouragement to Patti, I'm sure everthing will be ok.

it's ok to cry.

For me: 22 Tips For Living on Less, from Claire.

Inside, it's white noise, computer fans, the sound of the neighbor's tv, 24/7, and my goddamned refridgerator. Outside, it's the ever-present noise of traffic. I know how Steven feels.

Even when I go home and my ears threaten to explode from the silence, the crickets kick in and I can finally fall asleep.

Ahhh, another meeting with those dreamy Canadian accents. My Thursday is so much better now.