Ohmygosh. JessaJune just brought my attention to the fact that it's 3:20 and I haven't posted anything today. Actually, I did post something earlier, but I guess Blogger ate it. Oh well.

Not a heck of a lot to say today. I'm working. (!) Still dealing with relationships. They're everywhere, you know. Sometimes this is brought home to me more than other times. How much of who I am and how I feel about things is wrapped up in the interactions I have with other people, friends, co-workers, family members. I mentioned earlier that I didn't have any problems in my life. Now I have issues, and it's not money or my living situation or my health. It's all about my relationships, and how they are or are not going the way I'd like them to.

On that rather vague note, that's all for today.

Finally, an answer to the age-old question: How much wood would a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood?, with a bonus.

Well, we've run quite the variety of musical tastes here today. So far, we've listened to

Live: Throwing Copper
U2: All That You Can't Leave Behind
Santana: Supernatural
Glenn Miller and the Army Air Force Band
Steve Miller: Greatest Hits 1974-1978
Ricky Martin
The Tubes: The Best of

I'll keep this updated as the day wears on. And on. And on.

Never one to shy away from making myself feel better at the expense of others, or appreciating those who do the same to cheer me up, Eric has won my heart with this immediate reaction to the Cosmo tips for women mentioned below:

for one thing, they all look scary ... like evil spindly androids ... they just look WEIRD ... abnormal ... like those walking-stick bugs.. with strange protuberances on their chests ... there's still men out there who aren't attracted to alien concepts of beauty.

I was just surfing around 3Bruces and found a couple of sites that, while they immediately raised my feminist hackles, are also friggin' hilarious.

Leash Your Girl!
"To be honest, I'm not even sure the child I support and care for is my own. But, since I've put the YPL: Leash Your Girl on my wife, we've had no more maybe-babies!"

Cosmopolitan tips for women
Warning: crude humor, not for sensitive readers. You need a certain sense of humor to appreciate this one.

And finally, A Former Video Game Widow's Tips to get Your Man Away from the Monitor and into Bed
Not so anti-feminist, but still funny, especially if you know anyone who has been relegated to game-widow status.

The author admits she was suffering from the heat ("It's stewing my brain to a flavourful mush, add salt and pepper to taste, serves two"), but I enjoyed reading this anyway.

Hey folks, got another one of those emails today, urging people to click through to The Breast Cancer Site and help provide mammograms for underpriveleged women with a single click.

From the email:

Breast cancer is the leading cause of cancer deaths among U.S. women ages 40-55, and is second only to lung cancer in cancer deaths.

During the year 2000, 182,000 women will be diagnosed with breast cancer, and 43,300 women will die of breast cancer.

At present, one woman in eight either has or will develop breast cancer in her lifetime.

.... Just visit once a day, click on a button, and sponsors make a donation to the National Breast Cancer Foundation. Donations from the site support the National Breast Cancer Foundation's efforts to provide a free mammogram to underprivileged women who otherwise can't afford this life-saving early detection test. It's free to you and only takes a moment of your time.

I have a friend who just decided to shave her head 'coz she's going through chemo treatments for her second bout of breast cancer. Seems worth the effort, no?

Yet another piece of evidence that JessaJune and I are the same person, which is why we are rarely seen in the same place at the same time. We seem to be living much the same lives (or at least we're facing much the same issues and decisions).

Better to make a decision, and make it yourself, and deal with the consequences of your own making, isn’t it, then to force, nay manipulate, others to make your decisions for you?

And why can I see that so clearly, yet still not want to do it?

So easy to slough off the responsibility of the decision to someone else. But I know why I don't want to do it.

Pompetous? Pompitous? Puppetutes?

Thanks to John for the pointer to the last site, a possible explanation to something that might be only jive.

I just took TheSpark's Stress Test!, and here are my results:

You exhibit a stress percentage of 20% which barely registers. Get a job.

Your Stress Test answers indicate that to reduce your stress level even further you should eliminate at least one of the following from your life immediately:

consciousness.

From Unxmaal.com, who only registers at 10%.

I feel better knowing that someone's got our back out here in California.

I agree with Patti Ann about the need for swirly thing-a-ma-bobs, but I feel we also need to work on the transporter technology. Could you imagine it?? We could have lunch in the Bahamas today, if only we had a transporter here in the office. Dinner in France. Or chinese food from, um, China. Spend weekends in Italy, or Brazil, or ... or ... Mountain View.

And for those who just read the previous post about not spending so much money, well, we'd be living in Star Trek times, right?? They don't use money.

Not a heck of a lot to say today, except that I had a good weekend. I got all my laundry done, went to a club in San Francisco on Saturday night, and hung out with some cool old and new friends. I saw The Mummy Returns on Sunday. And yesterday I went hiking in Pacifica.

Not much to reflect on all that except that I do indeed have the coolest friends, relationships can be exhausting sometimes, it's good to re-examine the basis of your convictions sometimes, just to make sure that they still make sense, and sequels generally aren't as good as the original.

Oh, and I really have to stop spending so much money.

Something every woman needs. And so classy!

"VirtuaGuy has been downloaded and used by dozens of thousands of users so far... We got happy customers from all over the world, including countries we didn't even know they exist !"

From Rev. Brian Chapin (right above a link to ChickenCandy).

Darnit. Forgot my towel.

The Secret Diaries of Alan Greenspan

Heeheeheeheeheeheeheeheeheehee.

He said what Kidman perceived as threats was just his way of being romantic.

The Erotic Journal of Martha Stewart

Hahahahahahahahahahahahah.

Some people call me the space cowboy
Some people call me the gangster of love
some people call me Maurice
'cause I speak of the pompetous (?) of love.
-- The Steve Miller Band, The Joker

It took me 24 hours, but I remembered the observation I forgot yesterday:

I noticed while I was stopped at a light yesterday that the guy in the car behind me was laughing. I suspect it was because he had seen me singing.

No embarassment, no face-reddening, no ohmygod, someone saw me. Instead, I turned up the radio and sang the rest of the song along with Ricky

Yup. Gonna see this one

Heads up from Edmond:

Tomorrow, May 25th, is Towel Day in memory of Douglas Adams, author of The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy and other works.

The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy has a few things to say on the subject of towels.

Most importantly, a towel has immense psychological value. For some reason, if a non-hitchhiker discovers that a hitchhiker has his towel with him, he will automatically assume that he is also in possession of a toothbrush, washcloth, flask, gnat spray, space suit, etc., etc. Furthermore, the non-hitchhiker will then happily lend the hitchhiker any of these or a dozen other items that he may have "lost". After all, any man who can hitch the length and breadth of the Galaxy, struggle against terrible odds, win through and still know where his towel is, is clearly a man to be reckoned with.

-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Good news for me, I just received my towel from LandsEnd.

A funny from JessaJune:
Footprints in the sand

I dreamed that I was walking down the beach with the Goddess. And I looked back and saw footprints in the sand. But sometimes there were two pairs of footprints and sometimes there was only one. And the times there was only one set of footprints, those were my times of greatest trouble. So I asked the Goddess,

"Why in my greatest need did you abandon me?"

She replied, "I never left you. Those were the times we both hopped on one foot."

And I was really embarassed for bothering Her with such a stupid question.

Ohmygosh. I have to prepare for 5 birthdays b/w now and 6/6! Then I've got two more b-days next month, in addition to 2 Father's Days.

UPDATE: and 2 graduations. I just remembered about the graduations.

Good to know.

Thanks Dave.

Passion dies hard: jealous boyfriend, 100, assaults Miami woman, 38

I don't think this needs any comment.

Some observations:

My bread was moldy this morning, which means I have to go out for lunch. Darn.

NSI is slow.

I get way more excited than I should be when
people whose sites I read add me their list o' blogs.

And my memory sucks. There was another observation I made this morning on the way to work, and I can't remember it now. Maybe it'll come to me later. You know, when there's not a computer to be found.

In addtition to uttering today's Quote of the Day, Dave is also my hero for informing me how to stop all those annoying IE script errors from slowing down the load time for my site. (Hint: it involves taking out the BV counter code.) Yippeee!

Quote of the Day:

"The world is my bivalve."
-- Dave

Angel of the Day.

Kinda cool. Mine is the ArchAngel Gabriel.

Via Reverend Brian

An example of the oh-so-intellectual conversations I have online:

Unxmaal: blorp!
Booboolina1: glump!
Unxmaal: fmorz!
Booboolina1: kpert!
Unxmaal: mweee!
Booboolina1: tlooo!
Unxmaal: brapook!
Booboolina1: fawoopl!
Unxmaal: gordoopl!
Booboolina1: jendup!
Unxmaal: jenned up?
Unxmaal: what're you doin, all jenned up and no place to go?
Booboolina1: well, you know how it is
Unxmaal: yeah
Booboolina1: gotta do somethin' for fun

My first reaction to this is that she should get a life. But it's amazing what she can do with an Etch-A-Sketch. I guess when you've got a talent, you make the most of it.

I gotta wonder, though, why she continues to live in California, especially SoCal. I mean, isn't that hazardous to her art??

Via unxmaal.

Courtesy of Jisheroo, here's the Oz Prison Bitch Name Generator.

I'm the Ass Mangler. What are you?

In light of yesterday's pseudo-vanity search, someone notified me this morning that a search on dancing naked sexy librarian in pumps or birkenstocks with sexy eyes and a perfect ass will turn up only my site.

I think I'm flattered.

It trips me out when people do a search on booboolina. It's like a vanity search, but I didn't do it. This time.

It's been two days since I found out about this, and already I'm tired of hearing about it. <whine>When will it stop??</whine>

Question(s) of the Day:

How much would you compromise to be with someone you really care about? What pre-relationship decisions can you re-think and still remain true to yourself, with all the lessons you learned and your values intact? How much of it becomes you doing something you didn't want to do because now you really want to do it vs. doing it just to please the other person?

It's only 8:30, and already I've learned two important lessons today:

1) It's important to pen your friends in. Pencil just doesn't cut it. Mostly 'cause pencil doesn't show up as well on calendars.

2) Just when you think you've done the dumbest thing you're capable of, rest assured that there's always something dumber you can do. And you probably will. Soon.

I was thinking of something that happened earlier when I wrote point #2, and then I proved it again. I'm a genius.

I took TheSpark.com's Sex Test again, just to see what sort of results I'd get this time, and my score has improved!

Congrats! In your life, you'll have sex with 11 people! [...]* You have an untapped source of sexual energy.

* much information deleted that you don't need to know for *my* protection

Hah!!!

Sent to me by Unxmaal:

Red Panno D'Or Parachute Pants

Battius and Payneslayve's journal

Ok, I hadn't planned on posting anything about the Kaycee hoax. I figured I hadn't invested a heck of a lot of emotional energy into her story, and anything I was feeling others had said before and said a lot better than I ever could. But it's everywhere, and I'm dismayed at the pain and confusion that this has caused, and heartened by the love that has survived the revelation. To that end, here are some reactions I thought were worth posting:

Her name was not Kaycee and she was not my daughter....

the end of the whole mess

MeFi post one

MeFi post two

a conversation with my sister

Sorry

Loony

Halcyon's words

So What Happens Now?

For what it's worth, the strongest emotion I'm feeling is sadness at the destruction of trust. Whatever Debbie's/Kaycee's motives, she brought out the best in a lot of people, but it was done dishonestly and now those people feel used and betrayed.

And from now on, no matter how much these people who cared about her try to still feel good about the whole experience, it will color the next time they are asked to risk themselves emotionally. They'll wonder if it's real, if the person is telling them the truth, if, when they give their hearts, they will be treated with respect. If they'll be treated with the truth. Because this time they weren't.

My first reaction is "Oh, well. She was too good to be true in the first place. This is just one more example of peoples' insensitivity and callousness. Time to move on." But that's just my cynicism reacting to one more brick being put on the wall around my heart. Because I cried for her too.

Lunchtime meditation:

It amazes even me, even now, after having at least one bad burn per year for most of my 29 years, how very red my skin can get. The sock line and the fact that my knees didn't burn kinda disturbs me too. That candy cane-coloring comment I made earlier was not idle.

Best line of the weekend, from a friend recently made single:

"I have to reset my radar for cute firemen. I mean, it's already set for libraries and Taco Bells. I just have to add firemen."

Darn it.

Weekend recap:

Busy, busy, busy. I have been going non-stop since Friday. I think. It may have started even before then, but this is a weekend recap, so we'll start with Friday night.

Went to see JessaJune in A Midsummer Night’s Dream on Friday. Excellent. Everyone did a good job, which is not something you can say all the time with community theater. There was some, well, interesting choices made by the director about the interaction between Oberon and Titania and the pixies or sprites or whatever you call them. Not bad, just interesting. When the pixies were onstage, it was, um, ahem, difficult to pay attention to the other actors.

Saturday I somehow managed to talk a friend into cleaning my shower for me. Much like Tom Sawyer and the fence. Although I promised to wax his car for him next weekend in return, I still think I got the better end of the deal. Especially now that my shower is cleaner than when I moved in. Sorry, he says I can't give out his number, as he does not want to wash others' showers.

I also went to A La Carte and Art in downtown Mountain View, which was nice, if rather warm. Actually, hot was more like it. Friends and overpriced art always makes for a good day.

Then I drove up to Pacifica to meet with Jish to go to the Dave Matthews Band concert at Pac Bell Park, which was pretty darn good. Not the best concert I've been to, nor the best DMB concert I've seen, but certainly not a waste of my time. Have to remember, though, that no matter how much they say you don't really feel the wind there, you still need to take a jacket and a blanket. Maybe two.

And the finale was yesterday, when I participated in my third Bay to Breakers, a walk/race that is really just a big San Francisco party. Everyone knows the Kenyans are going to win the run, so they just dress up and have a good time. I took two rolls of film during the day, which will be posted as soon as I get them developed. I really need a digital camera. Anyway, after walking over 8 miles my legs are sporting what feels like 2nd degree burns (the only part of my body I forgot to put sunscreen on) and my feet are blistered. But I'd do it again (just as soon as my feet heal and forget what I put them through yesterday).

Some of the highlights:
There were lots and lots of naked people running. Well, they were naked except for shoes, of course. There's a group of people who dress as salmon and start at the end of the race and run to the beginning. There was a group of women dressed in pink slips running together (get it? pink slips??), and a group of people dressed as rolling blackouts. I heard the Village People performed on the Hayes hill portion of the route, but I think we were ahead of them at that point and missed the show (darnit!). A good overview of the experience can be found here. PS, in an effort to *not* have to go to the bathroom, the only thing I consumed until dinner last night was an apple, a banana and a bottle of water late in the race. I was successful, if slightly dehydrated.

Finally took a shower and then watched season finale of XFiles before crashing for the evening. Now I'm working from home, 'cause I figure no one else needs to endure the sight of my candy-cane-colored legs and groans as I walk on sore feet. Not to mention that me in shorts is not the most pleasant thing to see, even on a good day.

On that note, I have get something done now. Oh, and apply some more moisturizer.

I'm a Persian

Sometimes smugness can be used to one's advantage.

Oh my.

According to Bonni:
... the Latin name, which translates to "a shapeless phallus" and the second part is "titanium" which generally implies something very large.

Matt has now jinxed us. Dammit.

I love people who can write.

Yum.

Jail Babes

I don't think this requires any comment on my part.

See also: Military Dudes and Military Babes.
Note: that second link gets a 404, but I'm sure they'll have it up and running soon. Too soon.

Via Mighty Girl.

I have pots. (Pots. Not pot.) And paint. And I had, at one time, the intention of using one on the other. Anyway, if I was the least bit artistic or original, I would have thought of this a long time ago. I tried some freehand artistic stuff and it looked like something a kindergartner would point at and laugh.

Maybe I'll get some stencils. Then I can do stuff like Mark did on his walls.

Or maybe I'll just sit back and admire the genius of others.

And I'm going to her show tomorrow night. I suspect that the whole time, I'll be thinking about this post.

I'm having a tough time taking this seriously.

It was so obviously designed by a man. A man with cleanliness issues. Which he should get over. Even before he learns proper english.

"To prevent from strench"?? WTF?

This is the cutest thing I've seen today.

I want one.

via unxmaal.

RoomsToGo, just about the coolest furniture site I've seen, including IKEA.

From unxmaal.

La de da, de da.

M: Do that thing you do so well.

Me: You mean that criticizing thing I do so well?

D: That's the thing!

Hmmm.

Via Steve

Sappy. I love it.