Be your own Disneyland.

Tuesday, July 31

I just had lunch with Dinah and Kevin at the Yahoo campus in Sunnyvale, which was pretty neat.

I won't start feeling pretentious until everyone I mention hanging out with can be linked to their weblogs.

Tester, documenter, supporter, trainer.

I'm all that and a bag of chips.

A friend of mine will be performing with Lunatique Fantastique this September at the San Francisco Fringe Festival.

I love the LunFan tagline:
Fostering the secret lives of ordinary stuff and making the world safe for inanimate objects.
Psst! You can see a picture of my friend on the cast page. His name is Bill.

In honor of Björn and his tendency to call me stupid:

People Don't Like It When You Call Them Stupid

Via Cory.

Human For Sale

I'm worth exactly $1,958,190.00 (and yes, I told the truth).

Via 3Bruces.

Nothin' like getting a tax refund and a refund from my cable company on the same day, commiserating with my roommate over quiche and cards, and finding out what someone I care for really thinks about me, to make a slow, sleepy, not-particularly-good day get a whole heck of a lot better.

Now, if only I hadn't started having The Shining flashbacks just as I was dropping off to sleep, I could have ended the day on the same high note. Damn my overactive imagination!

Needless to say, I did *not* go to bed as soon as I got home from work yesterday. And I won't get to tonight either. Maybe tomorrow night.

Monday, July 30

Blogdex gets press. Mermaniac does that 24 hour thing, and my site traffic goes up 40% from hits I get from Mark.

My need for hits is sated today.

Cool site.

Must. Stay. Awake.

I was just handed a CD of Canadian Brass.

What is it with me and Canadians all of a sudden. They're everywhere!!

Slightly delayed Weekend Recap:

I spent the weekend walking.

That's right, rather than spend the two days granted me at the end of a week in front of a tv or in bed, I spent it on my feet. Which wasn't a bad thing. On Saturday, Jish and I walked Golden Gate Park. Not the whole thing. I think we covered probably about a third of the park, from the polo field to the golf course, but anything that looked like it might be a path, we took it. We saw bison, gold-painted rocks, birds with green feet, Hari Krishnas, and lots of other park-like things. Yesterday, we went to Merry Way and walked along the cliffs and paths around Lincoln Park till we got to the Legion of Honor. Oh, sorry, The Palace of the Legion of Honor. Up and down cliffs, 'cause we didn't stay on the beaten path, oh no, we went as far to the left (read: close to the water) as we could.

And then we watched movies, which you can see in the movie review portion of this page (hint: it's on the right).

I am tired today. And sore. No gym tonight, and I think I'll be going to bed as soon as I get home. ::yawn:: ::streeeetch::


Here at Startup Central, we take our passwords seriously. Niklas just got back from Sweden and he's eating the paper we wrote the new login/password on.

Breakfast of champions. Yum.

The Bureau Of Missing Socks

Via 3Bruces

It's been an interesting weekend. Over the past three days, people have found my website by searching for:

accidental bra pictures (2)

girls kissing at rave (2)

girls kissing rave

rave girls kissing A slight variation, and a popular subject, apparently

brittney spears sex site being raped anger, anger

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon porn pics

methamphetamine recipes as if

ex girlfriend pictures (3)

kathy lee crosby (3)

Funny enough, I have no information on any of these subjects, having never been to a rave, used methamphetamines, seen Kathy Lee Crosby, had any accidents involving a camera and my bra, been interested in Chinese porn, or pictures of anyone's ex girlfriend, for that matter. Unfortunately, by posting these search terms, I am setting myself up for even weirder searches, but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

So, um, yeah.

Friday, July 27

The picture you can click to from here is pretty darn cool.

Via Harlan.

I realize that I haven't been particularly personal with this weblog lately, which is unfortunate, since I really wanted this site to be as much a record for me as a way to communicate with those who I've met through this medium. So, here's what's been on my mind the most lately...

Well, as usual, the topic that most of my offline conversations (and most of my online conversations as well) revolve around is my love life.

It's a bit complicated at the moment. I've actually been seeing someone for several months now. Sort of. It started out as a friendship, but has expanded to include more than friendship. This is all well and good, and I've enjoyed myself immensely during this time that I've known him. But we've hit a wall, and it's called commitment. He can't bring himself to do it, and I find that I'm really unhappy without it.

This is a first for me, since in the past it's usually been the guys I date who want the relationship to go farther before I do. I feel like such a girl, a girl with an agenda. I have no agenda, I'm just not interested in short-term at this point in my life. It's unfortunate, because I really like him, and what we have has just gotten better and better.

In the meantime, he feels like a jerk for what he feels is leading me on. I feel like a wimp for not walking away when I know he can't give me what I need (something I've always been able to do). Right now, it seems that all our happy moments are shadowed by the knowledge that it's going to end soon, either when he meets someone else, or I get a backbone.

I've been single for most of my life, and after my last big relationship, I thought I had learned that it's ok to be alone. After all, to quote someone whose name escapes me, it's better to be alone for the right reasons rather than together for the wrong reasons. If there was something else wrong with him or the relationship, it would be easy for me. If he really was a jerk, or he didn't respect me, or had a big head, or something else really undesirable, then I could walk away with a minimum of regret and start anew.

But I can't seem to walk away from someone I seem to have fallen for just because he doesn't feel as strongly as I do.

So most of my thoughts today are along the lines of: well, he's not happy with the situation; I'm not happy with the situation; the longer we draw this out, the more time is being wasted in his timeline of marriage/family stuff; so, why are we doing this?? Oh, right, because we really like each other. But is that good enough? When does it not become good enough? How long should I wait (and I realize that's what I'm doing) before I decide I've waited long enough?

And that's what's on my mind right now.

We were supposed to go to lunch at least 1/2 an hour ago.

Still waiting to walk out the front door ...

Thursday, July 26

Got this in the email this mornin':

How to sing the Blues . . . A Primer

1) Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2) "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3) The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes . . . sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

4) The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.

5) Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6) Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7) Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8) A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9) You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10) Good places for the Blues: a) Highway; b) Jailhouse; c) Empty bed; d) Bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places for the Blues: a) Dillard's; b) Gallery openings; c) Ivy League institutions; d) Golf courses.

11) No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12) Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if a) You older than dirt; b) You blind; c) You shot a man in Memphis; d) You can't be satisfied. No, if a) You have all your teeth; b) You were once blind but now can see; c) The man in Memphis lived; d) You have a 401K or trust fund.

13) Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods can't sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14) If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are a) Cheap wine; b) Whiskey or bourbon; c) Muddy water; d) Nasty black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a) Perrier; b) Chardonnay; c) Snapple; d) Slim Fast.

15) If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16) Some Blues names for women: a) Sadie; b) Big Mama; c)Bessie; d) Fat River Dumpling.

17) Some Blues names for men a) Joe; b) Willie; c) Little Willie; d) Big Willie.

18) Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19) Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a) Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.); b) First name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.); c) Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.); d) For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20) I don't care how tragic your life, if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.

I think I'm going to apply for this job.

Seems one of the major benefits is kicking Ewoks. Oh, and being able to yell "Stop rebel scum!" Ability to copilot Star Destroyers a plus, but not a requirement. Will also assist in tracking and filing data on rebel activities in Seswanna sector and maintaining current database on all known Jedi mind tricks. Lord Vader will provide optimistic daily appraisals of your performance, and a reminder that "this will be a day long remembered".

Heehee. Via 3Bruces

Via 3Bruces:

Fabulous New X-Wipes!!

"Eliminate that "Ex" Person from Your Life"

Wednesday, July 25

Bleh. When carrots go bad, they go bad in a really bad way.

I can understand that people can create a file (aka, virus) and send it to someone who then opens it. When opened, it somehow sends itself out to everyone in that person's address book, and continues the process until enough people get wise enough not to open files that don't look familiar.

Ok, I don't understand how it all happens, but it seems pretty logical and underhanded and mean and nasty.

What I don't understand is how I keep getting these virus emails from people I've never heard of. I think it's safe to assume that my email address does not live in all of these peoples' address books, so how does the virus get sent to me?? I have now received at least 5 of these emails, and the latest reads:

Subject: Biologia

Hola como estas ?
Te mando este archivo para que me des tu punto de vista
Nos vemos pronto, gracias.


Do you believe in loathe at first sight?

I do, although not always for the same reason.

Textism makes me laugh. Haha.

I'm sure Bonsai Kitten is meant to be a joke, or at least I hope that it is, but it is a disturbing joke and I fear that someone might take it seriously and try out the idea that "By physically constraining the growth of a developing living thing, it can be directed to take the shape of the vessel that constrains it."

Let me repeat: I am disturbed.

I went with Björn to see Jurassic Park III last night. A very exciting movie. It even had a plausible storyline, for a Hollywood blockbuster.

What was disappointing to me, though, was the end. I'll try not to tell you what happened (my standard answer to questions of "What happened?" is that everyone dies at the end). But it seems like they got about an hour and a half into the movie and ran out of money and/or ideas and decided to just wrap it up. Maybe it's just that by that time, they had introduced too many elements that couldn't be dealt with in the time they had remaining. I don't know.

And I don't care. All I know is that we were going along at a good pace, very involved in the movie (or at least I was), and then it just ended. Whoop. Just like that. Ok, good night, hope you had a nice time, see you soon, yes, the movie is over, now leave.

Gosh, I hope the next movie I see (which will probably be Legally Blonde) is better. We'll see.

So when you plan to get up before the sun to go work out, it's important to set your alarm to the appropriate time to achieve your goal.

<sigh> Maybe I'll get up early tomorrrow.</sigh>

Tuesday, July 24

Trying to find a english equivalent for "schnückelige," Bjoern could only find sites describing the how cute and cuddly English teachers are.

Hint: schnückelige seems to be a term of endearment in the German language.

want kristin back

Another off-the-wall search request. As far as I know, none of my ex's are computer literate enough to search for me. And I really don't think any of them truly want me back.

Hmm. I wonder what they were searching for.

Fluffy Battle Kitten
I tend to live in the "some things work and some things don't work but there are always root beer floats" world. That's how I am.

I know how that is.

Looks like a confession, don't it?

Via Edmond.

This almost makes me wish this site had a two word name. Almost.

A-Tard indeed.

Good kissing advice.

Monday, July 23

VibeRider - The Ultimate Motorcycle Accessory

"Have Miles of Smiles"

Via 3Bruces.

Who Wants To Be a Fobionaire


Sad, sad, sad. closes down
The for-profit, founded in 1999, raised more than $20 million from investors and employed about 26 people. Other sites operated by the company included The Breast Cancer Site and The kidsAIDS Site [as well as The Hunger Site and The Rainforest Site].
Via Davezilla.

A funny from Edmond on a Monday morning:

The Three Great Lies of SM

Friday, July 20

Only losers are up at 11:11 p.m. on a Friday night, not only surfing blogs, but posting to their own site.

That would be, um, me. ::raises hand::

Girl Attacked by River Otters in Shasta Lake

All I could think of while reading this was Tim the Wizard going on and on about the vicious rabbit with the big, pointy teeth (with appropriate hand and finger motions to accompany said description - if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about).

What should I put on the Fence?

More meeting gems:

"Europe is unavailable."

"It's like a cow coming back to be milked."

Friday's Are You a Freak? Results:

Need to be unique: 52%
Need to NOT conform: 31%
Willingness to express dissent: 13%
Overall: 38%

Only 38% freak?? Someone who likes to refer to me as a freak will be very disappointed.

Thursday, July 19

On another note, I just saw Cats & Dogs tonight, which I found to be hilarious, even if the realm of animatronics has a long way to go ...

Memorable quote: When Butch finds out what the cats are planning, "Son of my mother."
And my new preferred endearment: Liversnap.

Ever the master mistress of time management, I have just set up my home computer and started the download of the 672 messages awaiting me on my PacBell acct ... through dialup. Now where in the world did I put that darn DSL in the move? Oh, that's right, it doesn't necessarily move with you, does it?

Only 20 minutes till midnight. And I'm on message #56.

On the question of document security, what to put in the footer of stuff that we create here at Documentation Central:

Dinah: The question you also want to get in the habit of asking is "who is this document for and what footer message should I use?" e.g. "Internal Only" etc.
D: I'm not sure what the actual answer is for these ones since they are only for internal or customer use.
Booboolina1: That would make it Top Secret, right?
D: I don't think people treat that label with the respect it so richly deserves.
B: No, I certainly wouldn't. Nor do the folks at the FBI, apparently
D: Maybe "Supa Secret" would be better?
B: I like Supa Secret. I like it alot
D: And, of course, Extra Supa Secret - Eyes Only
B: And the really secret stuff can be Supa Dupa Secret
D: We're good.

Canadian Teen Smashes Six Cars, Fails Driving Test
A teenager crashed into six cars and injured one person when she tried to park at the end of her driving test, Toronto police said on Thursday.

The driving instructor, who had been about to give the girl her driver's license, changed his mind after the accident...

It really is a good idea to read the email more than once to make sure you understand the question, so you don't sound like a pompous idiot when you send an answer.

Whew! That was close.

Worth sufing:

False Advertising

Via 3Bruces.

Wednesday, July 18

Neato-freeto!! It's Recession Camp!
Our mission: to help those downsized in this year's economic downturn to remain healthy, happy, and social while they look for their next job.

I hope I never have to resort to this (I can't take part now, since most of their events are scheduled during normal working hours)

Is it possible to sneeze quietly??

Ev's gettin' ready for the Webbies.

The Online Feng Shui Bible.

Includes Feng Shui for Dummies, Tantric Feng Shui, and Feng Shui for Lesbians. Not to be missed.

Via 3Bruces

Claire's back!!

Prolific blogging day today, isn't it??

How to spice up your spec:

When writing a spec, it is very easy to become mind-numbingly bored, to the extent that you would rather look at any drivel the web has to offer before you will work on said spec. I found that one way to make your spec easier to read (for yourself and the programmers, developers, project managers, and anyone else interested in a good piece of fiction), is to replace key words with other words of your choosing.

In my current work, I have replaced the words "bug" and "feature" with the word "frog." Maybe I'm just easily amused, but that one simple modification has provided hours of giggling and fun. Dinah laughed too.

Speaking of which, would anyone like to join me?? You can get your ticket here. I would love some company.

I am such a dork. I just discovered that India Arie is opening for Sade. This just gets better and better. I really have to find that ticket.

Ya know, if you're going to get all excited about going to a concert, and you're going to put people off for weeks before the big night because of said concert, it's probably a good idea to keep track of your ticket so that you can actually get into the concert venue.

Here's to what I hope is only 15 minutes of searching for my Sade ticket when I get home tonight.

Tuesday, July 17

Wow, mongolian bbq does a lot to relieve cold symptoms. I hope authentic Indian food does the same.

Did you know it is MetaGrrrl's birthday today?? Send her a Happy Birthday card. Better yet, send her a gift!

Argh. I feel good everywhere except my head, throat and tummy, which pretty much taints the good feeling everywhere else. Being sick sucks.

On the bright side - did you know that 99% of the time, there's a bright side? - I made major inroads into the destruction zone known as my bedroom last night, despite the feeling that my head was going to explode. You could, if you were ever to enter my bedroom, actually see about 3/4 of the floor space available (after reductions taken by the bed, the desk, both bookshelves and the two endtables I have in there). Unfortunately, this has resulted in a dramatic loss of space in the closet and under the bed, but since I don't use those areas for much more than storing things I don't want to deal with immediately anyway, no big loss there.

I also organized my shelving unit in the kitchen, so I can stop feeling guilty about having my stuff all over the dining room table and the kitchen sink. As a further guilt-assuaging measure, I also took out all the trash and the recycling (3 trips up and down the stairs, mind you - did a lot for my martyr-like attitude), AND I washed some of my roommate's dishes, since her mixing bowl was taking up most of the sink and I had to wash my dinner dishes. All in all, not a bad night's work.

I do wish I had gotten to bed before 11:30 p.m., though. I think that might have made it easier to stay awake today.

Monday, July 16

In a bold gambit hoped to resolve dozens of conflicts around the world, the U.N. announced Monday the establishment of Ethniklashistan, a multinational haven in the West Bank that will serve as a new homeland for Irish Protestants, Hutus, Serbs, and other troubled groups.

Has anyone else had trouble accessing Sitemeter today??

Family Values

A Treatise on Shadowbane's Labor Theory of Value, or How to Get Men to Read User Manuals.

Via 3Bruces

I know that movies and the entertainment industry are rarely about real life as most of us know it (as most of the world is rarely all about computers and technology, as many in the Silicon Valley have a hard time comprehending), but this week's top ten movies seem to be unusual in how many of them focus on things that are not real:

1. Final Fantasy: The Spirits Within
2. Cats & Dogs
3. Scary Movie 2
4. The Fast and the Furious
5. Dr. Dolittle 2
6. A.I.: Artificial Intelligence
7. Kiss of the Dragon
8. Shrek
9. Lara Croft: Tomb Raider
10. Atlantis: The Lost Empire

Personally, I think it's nice to see people going to the movies for the entertainment aspect. This is not to say that movies with messages are bad things. Some of the best movies I've ever enjoyed were pretty heavy and left me feeling the need to be better educated about things that happened or were happening in the world around me.

But sometimes it's nice to just have a good time with a movie. You can get world issues for free on the 11:00 news or at any time on CNN.

Saturday, July 14

Oh look, it's after 1 a.m. and I'm still awake. And doing stuff.

Some things I learned today:

Don't talk about personal stuff when you're at work and you're hormonal.

It's dangerous to cry and drive. Even more so than talking and driving.

I have never benefitted from waiting for a man. Ever.

Love isn't about finding "the one," the one with whom everything clicks and is perfect from the beginning. It may seem like that's what it is at the start, but that's just infatuation. In the long run, love is about creating a connection with another person, one that allows you and that other person to share a part of yourselves that you both generally keep hidden from the world. Compassion, tenderness ... these can be the manifestations of this connection.

Even if it doesn't work out, the creation of that connection is not a waste of time.

Grasshoppers are kinda pretty, and neat to watch, but I don't want them in my bedroom.

If you have one of those new-fangled cars that have a lot of nifty electronic stuff in it (e.g. electronic display of mileage, cd player, power locks, and other stuff), you cannot let it sit for more than a week without the battery going dead. If you do, and it's dead enough, it doesn't matter if you get a jump or not, it probably won't start again after you turn it off.

Insomnia sucks. I'm glad I don't have to be awake and conscious at the same time tomorrow.

Friday, July 13

It's nice to know that others can look at me and my life and take comfort that their problems aren't that bad.

I have been late to get on every bandwagon that's ever come along. In fact, most just pass me by. Clothing, technology, dance styles come and go and I generally watch them march along.

There was a time when I was adamant that I would never be one to fall victim to the curse of the cell phone. I *would not* be one of those people who would rather talk on the phone than the person in front of me. I would not speak loudly to a phone while people tried to eat their dinner or read their books. Better yet to just never have a cell phone at all. After all, who wants to be *that* available?? I pay $7/mo to PacBell for voicemail. If I'm not there, they can leave a message, darnit, and I'll get back to them.

Then I was given a cell phone. Then it became my work phone. Then it became a way to organize outings with my friends. Then it became a way to get in touch with me any time I wasn't at home. It's also my timekeeper since I stopped wearing a watch years ago.*

Still, the level of security that I regained last night when I got my regular phone finally hooked up in my new apartment was reassuring to me that I have not totally crossed over to the dark side. Yippee for regular phones!

*don't worry, I still don't talk on my phone in restaurants or on public transit. Unfortunately, as much as I hate other people who are unable to drive and talk on their phones at the same time, I do use my phone in the car. I'm trying to break myself of this habit.

Friday the 13th indeed.

Here's a scary little troll for you.

Via GirlHacker.

Thursday, July 12

Six Degrees of Bacon

It's not what you think.

Monopoly Cards We'd Like to See

Riley Dog

<whisper>if I work vewy, vewy slowly, maybe my computer won't crash while I back it up</whisper>

And after all that, someone ate my chocolate pudding, which is a euphemism for nothing more than the Jello Chocolate Pudding I had put in the refridgerator last night.

I'm sick of today. Can I go home??

Year Of Our City
I have found that my extensive liberal arts education prepared me for the following…to go unrecognized in an economy dominated by technology, letigiousness, and commercialism, while keeping me from the bliss of ignorance.

He slices, he dices, he juliennes assholes!

Whiny, bitchy post, involving much more information about my life than you need to know:

1. I am pms-ing, so I don't fit comfortably into any of my clothes and I hurt in places that should never experience pain.

2. My workstation, where I spend more than half of my waking hours, is extremely unergonomic, not to mention my posture the rest of the time. This, combined with the stress of all that change mentioned in the earlier post, has put my neck on the painful verge of not working. Again.

3. I just hit my head on the bottom of the desk next to me. Really hard. Don't ask me how. It has something to do with complaint #1.

There. That's my online bitching for the day. Grrr.


Change is in the air.

Moved recently, personnel changes in the office, playing musical cars, revising my blog list.

Neither good nor bad, just moving stuff around.

Wednesday, July 11

Ha! You find the weirdest stuff over yonder at DSR.
Yes! You too can Protect your Breasts from immediate take over by power crazed Megalomaniacs by having Your Nipple Pierced (tm) NOW!

I fear the search requests I'll get from this one.

My title has changed. I am now the CDFO - Chief Dog Food Officer

I just caught up with my reading at bobthecorgi and it was a wonderful way to waste spend some time.

Had a scary moment just now - tried to access, and got a splash page telling me that my site was on a permanent vacation. Upon trying to reach my host,, I got the same splash page. Same thing with JessaJune, who also uses

As disturbing as this was, more disturbing was my reaction. I think I need to get some perspective on this whole web thing.

Everything seems to be ok now (or you wouldn't be reading this), but I am sufficiently spooked that I think I will be looking for a new hosting provider.

Gnome Liberation Front

What will they think of next??

Tuesday, July 10

Understanding Canadians.
Canadians generally adhere to laws and rules and stick to an orderly way of doing things. A common joke: How do you get Canadians to get out of the pool? Ask them to get out of the pool!

Good to know.

Via Riley Dog (07/10/01)

It's pretty cool when you're in the office, KFOG's streaming over the internet, you're in the work zone ... and your boss IM's you with a question about your project and it's ok to put her off for a sec 'cause you're trying to win either Melissa Etheridge tickets, or a trip for two to Maui.

Quote of the Month

"That's usually what I'm doing when I'm not working; I'm waxing my bananas."

Senior beefcakes fend off the ladies

Via Maggeh (07/06/01)

Parodies abound.

Been there, done this.

Via Asian Bastard.

It's difficult to maintain hit slut status when you can't post. Grr.

Women, not men, seem to dominate condom ``negotiation.''


Sometimes doing the icky jobs gets you good stuff.


He's awfully cool.

Monday, July 9

I was called a hit slut yesterday after describing some of the things I do to garner hits.

I'm sure I'm not the only one with an unhealthy obsession with my referrer logs.

list o' nifty words

Caffeine is bad.

I know it's awful to come back from a 5-day vacation and complain about how tired I am, but I didn't sleep well the whole time I was gone (disturbing dreams, see below), and last night was a night of partial insomnia. I didn't go to bed till 2 a.m. and I woke up every half hour after that till I dragged myself out of bed at 7 a.m.

Disturbing dream rundown:
Wednesday night, I was lost in DFW, late for my 9:10 flight, and had to avoid people who wanted to sell me vacation time-shares.
Thursday night, it was a combination of X-Files and Aliens (David Duchovney and a kind of alien you'd think only Ripley knew like this)
Skip to this morning, since I can't remember the content of the disturbing dreams I had Friday and Saturday night:
A revisit of *all* my former roommates, and something about red face paint and late rent.

So you see, it has not been a very restful vacation, regardless of the fact that I accomplished little more than doing my grandma's grocery shopping and saw Shrek with my mom.

Despite the complaining above, it was a very nice weekend.

Friday, July 6

Oh dear, another technophile's complaint ahead:

(rant)I simply cannot surf the web in the style to which I've become accustomed on a Pentium 120, with 16 MGs of RAM and a 56K modem.(/rant)

Whew! Got through that one ok.

Hope y'all are having a more productive day than I am, even if your productivity is measured by how many sites you can visit and how many emails you can compose while you're supposed to be doing something else.

Thursday, July 5

Secrets to a Relaxing Holiday Getaway

A belated Happy 4th of July!!

(AOL, combined with the evil machinations of some porn software we're not sure who downloaded onto my parents' computer, conspired to leave me without internet access for over 24 hours (the horror!!), which is why I am only now able to post this.)

I drove three hours to get Home yesterday, to be greeted at the door with BBQ (how cool is that?). We then went to the restaurant where my brother works, which happens to have a perfect view of Pismo Beach. We watched the fireworks displays in Avila Beach, Pismo Beach, Grover Beach and Oceano (yeah, there's a beach there, too).

Now it's eating leftover bbq, hanging out with family, and visiting with Daisy.

Tuesday, July 3

Apparently I will never make anything of myself if I'm not willing to soak up Bjoern's knowledge wisdom like a dry sponge.

On a slightly different note, data entry SUCKS.

*lightbulb turns on*

It's Friday!!

It's a holiday weekend, the parents are back from Ireland, the sister and brother-in-law are coming into town, I'm trekking Home tomorrow morning, the brothers will stick around to bbq ... I won't be back to work till next Monday!!

Now back to the overwhelming amount of work I have to get done before I can leave ...

As Dave points out, did we really need to know this?

Ha! What a wonderful thing to find before 9 a.m.:

Star Trek: The Next Generation -- Random Plot Generator

My current favorite is plot #64890

Counselor Troi's body is taken over by a strange entity in the Talos Star Group, forcing her to act on its behalf until Captain Picard uses a warp transducer to force it out and back into space where it came from. Data offers to give Counselor Troi lessons in compulsive masturbation and is shown up.

Via Fujiko Smurf (6/19/01)

Monday, July 2


Weekend recap:

Friday night, we went to see A.I.. Good movie. As the reviews have already stated, it could have ended at 3 or 4 points, but kept dragging on. At least the dragging parts were well-made. Gigolo Joe was pretty cool. Teddy is my hero.

Saturday I got up early, loaded up my truck, and waited for my helpers to come and assist me in my last push to move out of my old apartment. Lucky for me, 11 people showed up. Everyone had to make only a few trips up the stairs at the new place to get all my stuff inside. Then we went to lunch.

I have the best friends in the world.

That night, we went to Mark's birthday/housewarming party. You can see the notes and accompanying photos here.

Yesterday, I did nothing but watch movies and lay around. Just what I needed.

However, yesterday's inaction means that tonight I have to get all of my stuff that's still cluttering up the kitchen and living room moved out of my roommate's way, as well as have a heart-to-heart girl talk with her so that I can leave tomorrow night for the 4th of July festivities back Home with a clear conscience.

And that brings us to Monday.

I love this poem.

Is today a holiday and I don't know about it??

Why am I still alone in the office?