I just had lunch with Dinah and Kevin at the Yahoo campus in Sunnyvale, which was pretty neat.

I won't start feeling pretentious until everyone I mention hanging out with can be linked to their weblogs.

Tester, documenter, supporter, trainer.

I'm all that and a bag of chips.

A friend of mine will be performing with Lunatique Fantastique this September at the San Francisco Fringe Festival.

I love the LunFan tagline:

Fostering the secret lives of ordinary stuff and making the world safe for inanimate objects.

Psst! You can see a picture of my friend on the cast page. His name is Bill.

In honor of Björn and his tendency to call me stupid:

People Don't Like It When You Call Them Stupid

Via Cory.

Human For Sale

I'm worth exactly $1,958,190.00 (and yes, I told the truth).

Via 3Bruces.

Nothin' like getting a tax refund and a refund from my cable company on the same day, commiserating with my roommate over quiche and cards, and finding out what someone I care for really thinks about me, to make a slow, sleepy, not-particularly-good day get a whole heck of a lot better.

Now, if only I hadn't started having The Shining flashbacks just as I was dropping off to sleep, I could have ended the day on the same high note. Damn my overactive imagination!

Needless to say, I did *not* go to bed as soon as I got home from work yesterday. And I won't get to tonight either. Maybe tomorrow night.

Blogdex gets press. Mermaniac does that 24 hour thing, and my site traffic goes up 40% from hits I get from Mark.

My need for hits is sated today.

Cool site.

Must. Stay. Awake.

I was just handed a CD of Canadian Brass.

What is it with me and Canadians all of a sudden. They're everywhere!!

Slightly delayed Weekend Recap:

I spent the weekend walking.

That's right, rather than spend the two days granted me at the end of a week in front of a tv or in bed, I spent it on my feet. Which wasn't a bad thing. On Saturday, Jish and I walked Golden Gate Park. Not the whole thing. I think we covered probably about a third of the park, from the polo field to the golf course, but anything that looked like it might be a path, we took it. We saw bison, gold-painted rocks, birds with green feet, Hari Krishnas, and lots of other park-like things. Yesterday, we went to Merry Way and walked along the cliffs and paths around Lincoln Park till we got to the Legion of Honor. Oh, sorry, The Palace of the Legion of Honor. Up and down cliffs, 'cause we didn't stay on the beaten path, oh no, we went as far to the left (read: close to the water) as we could.

And then we watched movies, which you can see in the movie review portion of this page (hint: it's on the right).

I am tired today. And sore. No gym tonight, and I think I'll be going to bed as soon as I get home. ::yawn:: ::streeeetch::

Darnit!

Here at Startup Central, we take our passwords seriously. Niklas just got back from Sweden and he's eating the paper we wrote the new login/password on.

Breakfast of champions. Yum.

The Bureau Of Missing Socks

Via 3Bruces

It's been an interesting weekend. Over the past three days, people have found my website by searching for:

accidental bra pictures (2)

girls kissing at rave (2)

girls kissing rave

rave girls kissing A slight variation, and a popular subject, apparently

brittney spears sex site being raped anger, anger

Crouching Tiger Hidden Dragon porn pics

methamphetamine recipes as if

ex girlfriend pictures (3)

kathy lee crosby (3)

Funny enough, I have no information on any of these subjects, having never been to a rave, used methamphetamines, seen Kathy Lee Crosby, had any accidents involving a camera and my bra, been interested in Chinese porn, or pictures of anyone's ex girlfriend, for that matter. Unfortunately, by posting these search terms, I am setting myself up for even weirder searches, but I guess that's the way the cookie crumbles.

So, um, yeah.

The picture you can click to from here is pretty darn cool.

Via Harlan.

I realize that I haven't been particularly personal with this weblog lately, which is unfortunate, since I really wanted this site to be as much a record for me as a way to communicate with those who I've met through this medium. So, here's what's been on my mind the most lately...

Well, as usual, the topic that most of my offline conversations (and most of my online conversations as well) revolve around is my love life.

It's a bit complicated at the moment. I've actually been seeing someone for several months now. Sort of. It started out as a friendship, but has expanded to include more than friendship. This is all well and good, and I've enjoyed myself immensely during this time that I've known him. But we've hit a wall, and it's called commitment. He can't bring himself to do it, and I find that I'm really unhappy without it.

This is a first for me, since in the past it's usually been the guys I date who want the relationship to go farther before I do. I feel like such a girl, a girl with an agenda. I have no agenda, I'm just not interested in short-term at this point in my life. It's unfortunate, because I really like him, and what we have has just gotten better and better.

In the meantime, he feels like a jerk for what he feels is leading me on. I feel like a wimp for not walking away when I know he can't give me what I need (something I've always been able to do). Right now, it seems that all our happy moments are shadowed by the knowledge that it's going to end soon, either when he meets someone else, or I get a backbone.

I've been single for most of my life, and after my last big relationship, I thought I had learned that it's ok to be alone. After all, to quote someone whose name escapes me, it's better to be alone for the right reasons rather than together for the wrong reasons. If there was something else wrong with him or the relationship, it would be easy for me. If he really was a jerk, or he didn't respect me, or had a big head, or something else really undesirable, then I could walk away with a minimum of regret and start anew.

But I can't seem to walk away from someone I seem to have fallen for just because he doesn't feel as strongly as I do.

So most of my thoughts today are along the lines of: well, he's not happy with the situation; I'm not happy with the situation; the longer we draw this out, the more time is being wasted in his timeline of marriage/family stuff; so, why are we doing this?? Oh, right, because we really like each other. But is that good enough? When does it not become good enough? How long should I wait (and I realize that's what I'm doing) before I decide I've waited long enough?

And that's what's on my mind right now.

We were supposed to go to lunch at least 1/2 an hour ago.

Still waiting to walk out the front door ...

Got this in the email this mornin':

How to sing the Blues . . . A Primer

1) Most Blues begin, "Woke up this morning..."

2) "I got a good woman" is a bad way to begin the Blues, 'less you stick something nasty in the next line like, "I got a good woman, with the meanest face in town."

3) The Blues is simple. After you get the first line right, repeat it. Then find something that rhymes . . . sort of: "Got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Yes, I got a good woman with the meanest face in town. Got teeth like Margaret Thatcher, and she weigh 500 pound."

4) The Blues is not about choice. You stuck in a ditch, you stuck in a ditch--ain't no way out.

5) Blues cars: Chevys, Fords, Cadillacs and broken-down trucks. Blues don't travel in Volvos, BMWs, or Sport Utility Vehicles. Most Blues transportation is a Greyhound bus or a southbound train. Jet aircraft an' state-sponsored motor pools ain't even in the running. Walkin' plays a major part in the blues lifestyle. So does fixin' to die.

6) Teenagers can't sing the Blues. Adults sing the Blues. In Blues "adulthood" means being old enough to get the electric chair if you shoot a man in Memphis.

7) Blues can take place in New York City but not in Hawaii or any place in Canada. Hard times in Minneapolis or Seattle is probably just clinical depression. Chicago, St. Louis, and Kansas City are still the best places to have the Blues. You cannot have the blues in any place that don't get rain.

8) A man with male pattern baldness ain't the blues. A woman with male pattern baldness is. Breaking your leg cause you skiing is not the blues. Breaking your leg 'cause a alligator be chomping on it is.

9) You can't have no Blues in a office or a shopping mall. The lighting is wrong. Go outside to the parking lot or sit by the dumpster.

10) Good places for the Blues: a) Highway; b) Jailhouse; c) Empty bed; d) Bottom of a whiskey glass. Bad places for the Blues: a) Dillard's; b) Gallery openings; c) Ivy League institutions; d) Golf courses.

11) No one will believe it's the Blues if you wear a suit, 'less you happen to be a old ethnic person, and you slept in it.

12) Do you have the right to sing the Blues? Yes, if a) You older than dirt; b) You blind; c) You shot a man in Memphis; d) You can't be satisfied. No, if a) You have all your teeth; b) You were once blind but now can see; c) The man in Memphis lived; d) You have a 401K or trust fund.

13) Blues is not a matter of color. It's a matter of bad luck. Tiger Woods can't sing the blues. Sonny Liston could. Ugly white people also got a leg up on the blues.

14) If you ask for water and your darlin' give you gasoline, it's the Blues. Other acceptable Blues beverages are a) Cheap wine; b) Whiskey or bourbon; c) Muddy water; d) Nasty black coffee. The following are NOT Blues beverages: a) Perrier; b) Chardonnay; c) Snapple; d) Slim Fast.

15) If death occurs in a cheap motel or a shotgun shack, it's a Blues death. Stabbed in the back by a jealous lover is another Blues way to die. So is the electric chair, substance abuse and dying lonely on a broken down cot. You can't have a Blues death if you die during a tennis match or getting liposuction.

16) Some Blues names for women: a) Sadie; b) Big Mama; c)Bessie; d) Fat River Dumpling.

17) Some Blues names for men a) Joe; b) Willie; c) Little Willie; d) Big Willie.

18) Persons with names like Michelle, Amber, Debbie, and Heather can't sing the Blues no matter how many men they shoot in Memphis.

19) Make your own Blues name Starter Kit: a) Name of physical infirmity (Blind, Cripple, Lame, etc.); b) First name (see above) plus name of fruit (Lemon, Lime, Kiwi, etc.); c) Last name of President (Jefferson, Johnson, Fillmore, etc.); d) For example, Blind Lime Jefferson, Jakeleg Lemon Johnson or Cripple Kiwi Fillmore, etc. (Well, maybe not "Kiwi.")

20) I don't care how tragic your life, if you own a computer, you cannot sing the blues.

I think I'm going to apply for this job.

Seems one of the major benefits is kicking Ewoks. Oh, and being able to yell "Stop rebel scum!" Ability to copilot Star Destroyers a plus, but not a requirement. Will also assist in tracking and filing data on rebel activities in Seswanna sector and maintaining current database on all known Jedi mind tricks. Lord Vader will provide optimistic daily appraisals of your performance, and a reminder that "this will be a day long remembered".


Heehee. Via 3Bruces

Via 3Bruces:

Fabulous New X-Wipes!!

"Eliminate that "Ex" Person from Your Life"

Bleh. When carrots go bad, they go bad in a really bad way.

I can understand that people can create a file (aka, virus) and send it to someone who then opens it. When opened, it somehow sends itself out to everyone in that person's address book, and continues the process until enough people get wise enough not to open files that don't look familiar.

Ok, I don't understand how it all happens, but it seems pretty logical and underhanded and mean and nasty.

What I don't understand is how I keep getting these virus emails from people I've never heard of. I think it's safe to assume that my email address does not live in all of these peoples' address books, so how does the virus get sent to me?? I have now received at least 5 of these emails, and the latest reads:

Subject: Biologia

Hola como estas ?
Te mando este archivo para que me des tu punto de vista
Nos vemos pronto, gracias.

WTF??

Do you believe in loathe at first sight?

I do, although not always for the same reason.

Textism makes me laugh. Haha.

I'm sure Bonsai Kitten is meant to be a joke, or at least I hope that it is, but it is a disturbing joke and I fear that someone might take it seriously and try out the idea that "By physically constraining the growth of a developing living thing, it can be directed to take the shape of the vessel that constrains it."

Let me repeat: I am disturbed.

I went with Björn to see Jurassic Park III last night. A very exciting movie. It even had a plausible storyline, for a Hollywood blockbuster.

What was disappointing to me, though, was the end. I'll try not to tell you what happened (my standard answer to questions of "What happened?" is that everyone dies at the end). But it seems like they got about an hour and a half into the movie and ran out of money and/or ideas and decided to just wrap it up. Maybe it's just that by that time, they had introduced too many elements that couldn't be dealt with in the time they had remaining. I don't know.

And I don't care. All I know is that we were going along at a good pace, very involved in the movie (or at least I was), and then it just ended. Whoop. Just like that. Ok, good night, hope you had a nice time, see you soon, yes, the movie is over, now leave.

Gosh, I hope the next movie I see (which will probably be Legally Blonde) is better. We'll see.

So when you plan to get up before the sun to go work out, it's important to set your alarm to the appropriate time to achieve your goal.

<sigh> Maybe I'll get up early tomorrrow.</sigh>

Trying to find a english equivalent for "schnückelige," Bjoern could only find sites describing the how cute and cuddly English teachers are.

Hint: schnückelige seems to be a term of endearment in the German language.

want kristin back

Another off-the-wall search request. As far as I know, none of my ex's are computer literate enough to search for me. And I really don't think any of them truly want me back.

Hmm. I wonder what they were searching for.

Fluffy Battle Kitten

I tend to live in the "some things work and some things don't work but there are always root beer floats" world. That's how I am.

I know how that is.

Looks like a confession, don't it?

Via Edmond.

This almost makes me wish this site had a two word name. Almost.

A-Tard indeed.

Good kissing advice.

VibeRider - The Ultimate Motorcycle Accessory

"Have Miles of Smiles"

Via 3Bruces.

Who Wants To Be a Fobionaire

Fire.

Sad, sad, sad.

GreaterGood.com closes down

The for-profit GreaterGood.com, founded in 1999, raised more than $20 million from investors and employed about 26 people. Other sites operated by the company included The Breast Cancer Site and The kidsAIDS Site [as well as The Hunger Site and The Rainforest Site].

Via Davezilla.

A funny from Edmond on a Monday morning:

The Three Great Lies of SM

Only losers are up at 11:11 p.m. on a Friday night, not only surfing blogs, but posting to their own site.

That would be, um, me. ::raises hand::

Girl Attacked by River Otters in Shasta Lake

All I could think of while reading this was Tim the Wizard going on and on about the vicious rabbit with the big, pointy teeth (with appropriate hand and finger motions to accompany said description - if you've seen it, you know what I'm talking about).

What should I put on the Fence?

More meeting gems:

"Europe is unavailable."

"It's like a cow coming back to be milked."

Friday's Are You a Freak? Results:

Need to be unique: 52%
Need to NOT conform: 31%
Willingness to express dissent: 13%
Overall: 38%

Only 38% freak?? Someone who likes to refer to me as a freak will be very disappointed.

On another note, I just saw Cats & Dogs tonight, which I found to be hilarious, even if the realm of animatronics has a long way to go ...

Memorable quote: When Butch finds out what the cats are planning, "Son of my mother."
And my new preferred endearment: Liversnap.

Ever the master mistress of time management, I have just set up my home computer and started the download of the 672 messages awaiting me on my PacBell acct ... through dialup. Now where in the world did I put that darn DSL in the move? Oh, that's right, it doesn't necessarily move with you, does it?

Only 20 minutes till midnight. And I'm on message #56.

On the question of document security, what to put in the footer of stuff that we create here at Documentation Central:

Dinah: The question you also want to get in the habit of asking is "who is this document for and what footer message should I use?" e.g. "Internal Only" etc.
D: I'm not sure what the actual answer is for these ones since they are only for internal or customer use.
Booboolina1: That would make it Top Secret, right?
D: I don't think people treat that label with the respect it so richly deserves.
B: No, I certainly wouldn't. Nor do the folks at the FBI, apparently
D: Maybe "Supa Secret" would be better?
B: I like Supa Secret. I like it alot
D: And, of course, Extra Supa Secret - Eyes Only
B: And the really secret stuff can be Supa Dupa Secret
D: We're good.

Canadian Teen Smashes Six Cars, Fails Driving Test

A teenager crashed into six cars and injured one person when she tried to park at the end of her driving test, Toronto police said on Thursday.

The driving instructor, who had been about to give the girl her driver's license, changed his mind after the accident...

It really is a good idea to read the email more than once to make sure you understand the question, so you don't sound like a pompous idiot when you send an answer.

Whew! That was close.

Worth sufing:

False Advertising

Via 3Bruces.

Neato-freeto!! It's Recession Camp!

Our mission: to help those downsized in this year's economic downturn to remain healthy, happy, and social while they look for their next job.

I hope I never have to resort to this (I can't take part now, since most of their events are scheduled during normal working hours)

Is it possible to sneeze quietly??

Ev's gettin' ready for the Webbies.

The Online Feng Shui Bible.

Includes Feng Shui for Dummies, Tantric Feng Shui, and Feng Shui for Lesbians. Not to be missed.

Via 3Bruces

Claire's back!!

Prolific blogging day today, isn't it??

How to spice up your spec:

When writing a spec, it is very easy to become mind-numbingly bored, to the extent that you would rather look at any drivel the web has to offer before you will work on said spec. I found that one way to make your spec easier to read (for yourself and the programmers, developers, project managers, and anyone else interested in a good piece of fiction), is to replace key words with other words of your choosing.

In my current work, I have replaced the words "bug" and "feature" with the word "frog." Maybe I'm just easily amused, but that one simple modification has provided hours of giggling and fun. Dinah laughed too.

Speaking of which, would anyone like to join me?? You can get your ticket here. I would love some company.

I am such a dork. I just discovered that India Arie is opening for Sade. This just gets better and better. I really have to find that ticket.

Ya know, if you're going to get all excited about going to a concert, and you're going to put people off for weeks before the big night because of said concert, it's probably a good idea to keep track of your ticket so that you can actually get into the concert venue.

Here's to what I hope is only 15 minutes of searching for my Sade ticket when I get home tonight.

Wow, mongolian bbq does a lot to relieve cold symptoms. I hope authentic Indian food does the same.

Did you know it is MetaGrrrl's birthday today?? Send her a Happy Birthday card. Better yet, send her a gift!

Argh. I feel good everywhere except my head, throat and tummy, which pretty much taints the good feeling everywhere else. Being sick sucks.

On the bright side - did you know that 99% of the time, there's a bright side? - I made major inroads into the destruction zone known as my bedroom last night, despite the feeling that my head was going to explode. You could, if you were ever to enter my bedroom, actually see about 3/4 of the floor space available (after reductions taken by the bed, the desk, both bookshelves and the two endtables I have in there). Unfortunately, this has resulted in a dramatic loss of space in the closet and under the bed, but since I don't use those areas for much more than storing things I don't want to deal with immediately anyway, no big loss there.

I also organized my shelving unit in the kitchen, so I can stop feeling guilty about having my stuff all over the dining room table and the kitchen sink. As a further guilt-assuaging measure, I also took out all the trash and the recycling (3 trips up and down the stairs, mind you - did a lot for my martyr-like attitude), AND I washed some of my roommate's dishes, since her mixing bowl was taking up most of the sink and I had to wash my dinner dishes. All in all, not a bad night's work.

I do wish I had gotten to bed before 11:30 p.m., though. I think that might have made it easier to stay awake today.

Ethniklashistan

In a bold gambit hoped to resolve dozens of conflicts around the world, the U.N. announced Monday the establishment of Ethniklashistan, a multinational haven in the West Bank that will serve as a new homeland for Irish Protestants, Hutus, Serbs