Well, I'm off in a few moments for an extended weekend in San Antonio. I've checked, double-checked and checked my reservations again, and I'm pretty sure that I've gotten them right this time. I guess we'll see when I show up at the airport at 6:00 a.m. tomorrow morning.

I'll be taking my computer, but I don't intend to use it while I'm there. Rather, I don't intend to get online, which is pretty much the same thing.

So have a good Labor Day, for those of you in the US. I'll be hanging out in the sunny South, where it is currently ...

@$#%(%*$&^#!!!!

... just checked weather.com and found that "Super-soaker rains are swamping areas from central Texas (San Antonio) across Louisiana into Mississippi this evening. Areas of heavy downpours will continue into the evening. THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN AUSTIN/SAN ANTONIO HAS ISSUED A FLASH FLOOD WATCH FOR MOST OF THE HILL COUNTRY AND SOUTH CENTRAL TEXAS. THE WATCH IS IN EFFECT UNTIL 400 PM CDT FRIDAY AFTERNOON."

Oh fun.

Extremely un-politically correct, but funny nevertheless:

Ebonic American Dictionary of Phrases

Feral Cheryl Doll

When you've grown out of pretty pink ultra-thin unrealistic blonde fashion dolls..you're ready for something wilder in your life.
FeralCheryl® is a real wild child. She comes from the rainforest region of New South Wales, Australia,and was originally created to reflect the freedom and wildness of the alternative lifestyles in the area.
Unlike other "fashion dolls", the 34cm vinyl Feral Cheryl doll is NOT blonde, and not ridiculously thin,and there are no accessories to buy. She goes barefoot, has tattoos, dreadlocks, simple clothes and a handmade rainbow bag.
She lives simply andwith a healthy body shape, and pubic hair, Feral Cheryl is a natural young woman.

Yet another chapter in the Ballmer book: Ballmerfunk Music Video.

Every once in a while, I get the email below. Regardless of how I generally feel about emails like these that tell me what I should think, what I should do, or how I should feel, this is one that I appreciate each time it shows up. Probably because I agree with it.

A WOMAN SHOULD HAVE

... one old love she can imagine going back to

... and one who reminds her how far she has come...

... enough money within her control to move out and rent a place of her own even if she never wants to or needs to...

... something perfect to wear if the employer or date of her dreams wants to see her in an hour...

... a youth she's content to leave behind...

... a past juicy enough she's looking forward to retelling it in her old age...

... a set of screwdrivers, a cordless drill, and a black lace bra...

... one friend who always makes her laugh

... and one who lets her cry...

... a good piece of furniture not previously owned by anyone else in her family...

... eight matching plates, wine glasses with stems, and a recipe for a meal that will make her guests feel honored..

.... a feeling of control over her destiny...

EVERY WOMAN SHOULD KNOW...

.... how to fall in love without losing herself...

.... how to quit a job, break up with a lover, and confront a friend without ruining the friendship...

.... when to try harder... and when to walk away...

... that she can't change the length of her calves, the width of her hips, or the nature of her parents...

... that her childhood may not have been perfect... but it's over...

.... what she would and wouldn't do for love or more...

... .how to live alone, even if she doesn't like it...

.... whom she can trust, whom she can't, and why she shouldn't take it personally...

.... where to go... be it to her best friend's kitchen table...

or a charming inn in the woods when her soul needs soothing...

.... what she can and can't accomplish in a day... a month...and a year...

Nunani, via Riley Dog.

Ah, he's arrived, and they're grinning like fools.

Comedian, Heal Thyself, a lesson that you can find humor in the most unexpected places.

Via A Large Head:

Just a Tip.

It's interesting how they categorize certain compliments and criticisms. For instance, under complements for Hygiene, you can find Commendable Crotch Hygiene, and under Hobbies & Home, you find Wild in Bed. Under criticisms for Hygiene, you find Bikini Line, and under Hobbies & Home, there is an entry for Large Bush.

I'm not sure if that last one applies to the hydrangea bush out on the front lawn or not, but it seems a strange place to categorize that one.

I know that the Book-A-Minute Classics site has probably been blogged before, but it still makes me laugh.

Reminded of this site by 3Bruces.

Hey! Jish has a new design!! Go tell him how much you love green. Shoo.

You know, there was a time when I actually read all my blogs. Every day.

Wondering what has changed in the past few months, I remembered that in the old days, I only had to click through 45-60 of them. I just recounted and found that there are now 95 blogs.

That would be what happened.

Heh. eHow to repair a broken three-hole punch

Via Bob The Corgi.

I have the most lovely image for my computer wallpaper.

Ten Tips for a Firmer, Slimmer, Sexier Weblog!

Guidelines. They're just guidelines.

*giggle.snort*

Can't make it to Burning Man this year??

Try Chillin' Woman instead.

Via Dangerous Monkey.

The God Settles Gender Debate, Proves Masculinity

Before returning to Heaven in his flaming chariot, God gave the public one more peek at the Wang of Worship for good measure. "My counsellor has said that I must remain a loving and caring god, so I sympathize with the plight of the feminists... they're still going to Hell, though."

Via 3Bruces.

D: Mmm, and Launch.com just dished up Michelle Shocked "If Love Was A Train" yas yas ain't that fine?
Booboolina1: 8-)
D: "But love ain't no train, more like a bucking bull, the most you got's 15 seconds and that's it, and even if you manage to ride, you're all shaken up inside, and it'll be a long time before you ride that bull again."
Booboolina1: Hey, that's my life!!
D: Yippee! I'm a cowgirl!

Oops

Oh God. Been there, done that.

My Date With Destiny!, the story of Kevin Smith's first kiss ... with his wife.

Via 3Bruces.

Too frickin' funny.

9 Easy Steps to Cook Rice

I don't even know the people involved, but I'm so happy for them.

And on another note entirely, I'd like to direct you to the Samuel L. Jackson Soundboard.

Note: This is not work appropriate. But it's only sounds, not pictures, so just keep your headphones on and you'll be fine.

Via DamnItAllToHell.

I don't really have anything to add to AB's post or the discussion that resulted from it. I am just in awe (for opposite reasons) of the people in the cars, and the people who voiced their thoughts so eloquently on the subject at hand.

Tips for better money management:

As mentioned yesterday, pay extra-special attention when making travel plans. The difference in flight price + the penalty is a bitch to pay.

A kind soul remarked yesterday that I could conceivably go to Europe for what I'm paying to go to San Antonio.

And when the nice highway patrol officer pulls you over to give you a speeding ticket, make sure that he knows that the address on your license is not current. This way, you'll be sure to get the little courtesy notice in the mail, alerting you to your options in taking care of the ticket. Oh, and pay attention to the ticket itself. It will have something called a court date listed on it. If you don't show up for this court date, they send your ticket to a collection agency, where a one-time-$77 ticket becomes a $77 ticket + $250 collection fee.

Learning through living.

Windows RG.

A wonderful way to start the morning.

Via Metagrrrl:

user-centered designers and pigs.

TMI* Posting:

Lamenting my lack of cookies, Kevin pointed me towards this word, saying I should replace the 'n' in the last word with a 'c.'

I told him I needn't bother, since I fall into that category as well.

*Too Much Information

Most Helpful Site of the Day:

Webopedia: Online Computer Dictionary for Internet Terms and Technical Support.

Via 3Bruces:

Dog Lovers of Iran, Beware of Growling Ayatollahs

"I would like to thank the honorable police and judges and all those who worked to arrest dog lovers and to confiscate short-legged dogs in this city"

Oh my. Catheads

And finally, tips on overcoming homosexuality (if that's what you're looking for).

Oh, and Steps in Overcoming Masturbation, via Kevin.

The power of the seller.

I love it.

What a great idea!! Brew & View. We really need one of those around here.

Via No Commercial Potential.

Looks like lots of cool people are going to be at Fray Day 5, San Francisco.

Are you??

Nothing makes me worry like money and trouble with my car or computer.

My car(s) and computer(s) are fine. But a vacation that was supposed to cost less than $300 has now skyrocketed to ... well, much more than $300.

Unasked-for advice: always check, double-check, and then check again the dates that you have indicated for departure and arrival. It'll save a lot of trouble later on.

I wish I could shake this worry that isn't doing me any good right now.

Something for women everywhere to be aware of:

Two Women Drugged, Attacked in SF

Via A Large Head:

Find Your Star Wars Twin. Kinda interesting.

A Monday funny, to offset my realization that I made the wrong reservations for my trip to San Antonio later this week. (I wouldn't mind a 6-day vacation, but my boss might. And it's going to be a bit more expensive than originally planned. And yes, I'm understating that.)

Q: Who has feathers and webbed feet and searches for underwater treasures?

A: Jaques Goose-toes.

Wil Wheaton, on the web.

Speedofart.

Um, I take it that (as well as the url) are supposed to read Speed of Art. Hyphenation is a good thing.

Via Tamityville.

I have worn many hats during my stint here at Startup Central (figuratively, since I have a big head and can only wear a few hats), and have had many job titles, both real and not appropriate to the professional world.

Anyway, the latest, and the one most likely to make it to my business card: Documentatrix.

Just picture me in a catsuit á la Metagrrrl's, threatening with a whip, and telling everyone we're documenting the latest release of the software THIS way! *snap*

This is so wrong. 'Tiger man' wants fur graft.

Via Mighty Girl.

Um. Oops.

I love it when people feel compelled to offer comment on my life and the decisions I make, especially when they do so from a position of ignorance and with the attitude that they, knowing nothing about my life, my experiences or the lessons I carry with me into each situation, know more than I do about my heart and what's best for me.

Yup. Love that.

Ah. Those Canadians!

Asian Bastard is back!

James is so cool!

Dateline Kennel

I have to admit it. I love food.

It's not really a huge secret, and I don't think I'm alone. I love the smell of food, the taste of it, the feeling of it as I'm chewing it and when it's in my stomach. I love the warm and safe feeling I get when I overeat (it's a lifelong struggle to overcome this particular problem). Since my mom stopped cooking for me, I have been able to refuse food I don't like - like peas, watermelon, chicken pot pies, cantaloupe, peaches, beans (yes, all of them), red apples, peas, coffee, Brussels sprouts, asparagus, peas, sweet potatoes, yams, pineapple juice, and peas - and just concentrate on the really good stuff - like pasta, not-overcooked broccoli, baked chicken, mashed potatoes, garlic, nan, oatmeal, fried calamari, prawns, sushi, etc.

Despite what this may imply about how much and what I eat, there are really only a few foods that will tempt me towards out-and-out gluttony: pizza, popcorn and chicken tikka masala.

And those I've managed to control, mostly by just paying attention to my stomach when it says it's happy with the amount I've consumed. Actually, this only works with pizza and the chicken tikka masala. Popcorn ... well, I've had to simply give up popcorn for the most part. I don't get it when I go to the movies. Despite the rather smooth talk I gave my mom as to why she should give her air-popper to me, I don't use that but once in a blue moon anymore either. And I've been pretty good. Because regardless of what I tell my stomach, and what my stomach tells me, I will invariably eat too much popcorn.

But when a co-worker pops up a bag of butter flavor popcorn and then offers, nay, forces me to have some... well, I just can't help myself.

Here's to kernels in the teeth and greasy fingers on the keyboard and the almost-feeling that I've done something good by eating the 94% fat free stuff.

OpenBrackets is my new favorite reading material. One of many items worth reading: The Big Legume

Heehee. Haahaa. Hoohoo.

Couples

Coolest, newest thing in the blogging world: Jish's VoxBlog.

Linux Anecdotes

Via Unxmaal.

Something to keep in mind next time you're driving too fast.

It's little stories like this that give me hope.

Thoughts from 5 p.m last night to 5 a.m. this morning:

I've lost friends before due to misunderstandings, and I've lost friends due to simply drifting apart. And to my regret, I didn't do much about it. Now I've got another friendship being tested, and this time I want to do something about it. Problem is, I'm not really sure what to do to come through this tough time with the relationship intact. I'm hoping that by just hanging on and being open about what's going on in my heart, things will turn out ok. I don't know what else to do.

I am, once again, coming to terms with the fact that I can't have everything I want. It's a little frightening. But liberating at the same time.

A line from a play I went to see last night: "May your dating pool be Olympic-sized."

I can now walk in a straight line from my desk, where most of my clothes end up, to my closet, which is where they belong. This makes me (and my clothes) very happy.

Feline love cries. There are few sounds I want to hear less at 5 a.m.

Quote of the Day:

Now I feel like running with the bagel bag!

The Rhymes with Orange! site is a blessing.

My favorites today:
Which is more pathetic?
R.S.V.P.
The Cat Book Group
Power Play

You know, I've noticed that since I placed the following text on my ICQ profile a few months ago, I haven't gotten any new chat partners. Hmmm. I wonder why.

Please don't write if you're looking for anything other than friendship or a chat partner. I don't have pictures of myself to give to you and I'm not interested in telling you what I look like. Please don't waste your time or mine on questions like that. Thanks.

This was supposed to be posted last night, but Blogger and my home computer have a intermittent connection at the best of times, and the post was first eaten, and the second draft could not be posted, so here's a recap of what I did last night:

Since I came home from work, I have gone from "Girl who moved in a month and a half ago and still hasn't done anything with the dead plants she brought from her old place and are still out on the porch" to "Girl with three lovely newly re-potted plants (and three more pots, empty except for dirt, which she doesn't know what to do with just yet)" to "Girl who felt so good about the new plants and their new homes, that she tried to take care of all her plants at once, resulting in the disastrous overturning of one of her oldest african violets, getting dirt EVERYWHERE in the kitchen and leading to over 45 minutes spent cleaning the shelves and the floor and everything that got dirty."

A night of quick evolution.

Wish I could be in Vancouver on Thursday for the No Burned Bridges World Tour

Wow.

via 3Bruces.

Swedish Women Don't Get Enough Sex?

We've deduced that it's because all the cute guys (read: style, looks, intelligence, money and influence) are here in our office.

Via my roommie:

Steve Ballmer: Sweatin' to the oldies...

Those among you who have found yourselves compelled to repeatedly review the now infamous Steve Ballmer "dancemonkeyboy" video clip, will no doubt delight in this most recent addition to the Ballmer video canon: "Developers. Developers. Developer developers."

So I got a speeding ticket back in May, (I know, I know, big surprise - the real surprise is that I haven't gotten more of them) and I haven't received any information about paying for it, or a court date or anything. I finally decided it's time to do something about it, and I'm finding that it's extremely difficult to find someone who will tell me how I can pay them the money due on the ticket.

Grrr.

2 reasons I force myself into a bodice and and a dress every summer and head out to Vacaville:

Broon and MooNiE the Magnif'Cent

Aha. It's apparently going to be one of those days where the fact that someone drank all the black decaf tea, which I don't find out till after I've filled my cup with hot water, is going to turn my mood from good to bitchy in about 5 seconds.

Dealing with know-it-all co-workers doesn't help.