In case you forgot how (or you're just looking for a refresher course):

How To French Kiss

Some good pointers:

4. Start off with a normal kiss, not too firm, not too aggressive. Closing your eyes is optional.
8. If they open their mouth more or otherwise indicate they like the kiss, keep on doing what you have been only with a little more passion.
9. As the kissing gets going saliva build up can be a problem, don't forget to swallow.

Gosh, I wish tutorials had been out there when I was, um, younger, and had not a clue what to do the first time some guy came at me with a kiss in mind. Oh well, you live and you learn.

Via Elaine

Muslims reaching out

S.J. man may face hate charge in attack

Muslim women's hijab is proud expression of their faith

Haunted by plane attacks, some struggle with suspicion

Ja Da (via Unxmaal)

In the grand tradition of kitty porn, lego porn, crash-test dummy porn, and furniture porn comes paper porn.

Where will it stop?? Morbus says lint porn. I can't wait.

(btw, I know there's stick figure porn out there, but I couldn't find the site. If you know where it is, would ya let me know?)

The Star Wars Pants Page.

Thanks Edmond. I love it.

Banned Books Week, Free People Read Freely

Books I've read from this list:
I Know Why the Caged Bird Sings by Maya Angelou
The Adventures of Huckleberry Finn by Mark Twain
Of Mice and Men by John Steinbeck
The Color Purple by Alice Walker
A Wrinkle in Time by Madeleine L’Engle
Blubber by Judy Blume
The Handmaid’s Tale by Margaret Atwood
The Bluest Eye by Toni Morrison
Beloved by Toni Morrison
Brave New World by Aldous Huxley
Native Son by Richard Wright
Carrie by Stephen King
Tiger Eyes by Judy Blume
The Adventures of Tom Sawyer by Mark Twain
Song of Solomon by Toni Morrison

Others I've seen in movie form, like
The Witches by Roald Dahl
To Kill a Mockingbird by Harper Lee
The Outsiders by S.E. Hinton
Cujo by Stephen King
The Dead Zone by Stephen King

I tried to read Lord of the Flies by William Golding, but I just couldn't get into it. And I knew I wouldn't like the movie. You, however, can read whatever you like.

I wasn't going to blog anything else today, but this was too good to pass up.

The Onion | 26 September 2001

My grandfather passed away two days ago. I just found out this morning in an email from my father.

I am not upset at the passing of my grandfather. I didn't know him and he certainly didn't know me. In a crowd of two, I wouldn't have been able to pick him out. All through my life, we always wondered where he was living, and who he was married to now. My mom did her best to keep him updated on my life, sending him my grade school pictures and graduation announcements for high school, college, and grad school. I met him once, the summer before I went into the 6th grade, with his 2nd wife, I think. I don't remember much, except how uncomfortable it was to have to visit with someone I didn't know in our living room. Needless to say, he wasn't a big part of my life. He wasn't even a small part of my life.

No, what upsets me now is the pain my father is feeling. They always had a rocky relationship, which hit its biggest bump about 15 years ago and caused my father to change his name altogether and keep them from talking during all that time. About a year ago, my grandfather contacted my father, to let him know that he had terminal lung cancer and to make amends. It worked for a while. My dad was so happy to have his father back in his life, to have a relationship with him.

But you can't change your colors that late in life, and my grandfather soon went back to his old ways. His "ways" included deliberately misunderstanding others and their motivations, never giving them the benefit of the doubt, and giving full voice to his prejudices, regardless of the feelings of those around him. So, despite being terminally ill and married to a woman who wasn't in much better shape, my grandfather still managed to alienate his entire family. Again.

And now my father writes to me from the road as he drives to the funeral. I think during this last encounter, he was able to let go of a lot of the pain he'd carried around all his life from dealing with his father. He writes

No regrets for not loving him. No regrets for not pouring myself into that abyss. I wish you were here. I wish you were going with me. I wish someone was. However, sometimes we experience and intentionally experience a kind of hunger to get back to something. We cause or create the ordeal in order to experience it rather then shelter ourselves from it. I want to wish you were there and I will wish that for the entire trip... but you shouldn't be there. My IQ about myself will be higher when I get back. It is my greatest mystery and I will add a few points to that IQ in this next week.

When a life ends and there is no feeling of loss, there should be a question asked and someone must seek that answer. Standing before each other at a grave site is less of a tribute than trying to find the answer to that question. There are simple questions about life with even simpler answers but I need the understanding, not the answer. This is my chance. I am off tomorrow on my trip. Wish me discomfort and doubt and uncertainty. I need them but no shelter and no companion... no comfort and, good grief, no more healing. This is a time for destruction. I can build this back when I find that understanding.

thanks for listening and for not being there....

Regardless, I wish I was there with him. If only so that he could talk about all the stuff that's going on in his head.

C.Y.B.O.R.G. Cool.

Via Unxmaal.

Have I ever mentioned that Patsy Cline rocks??

Roommate: Don't guys realize that when they start chatting with you that it means something?
Me: Holy cow. If every guy I chatted with thought it meant something, um ...

Muslim and American: Kids Worry About Anti-Arab Reaction

Misguided retribution apparently fueled attacks: An assault and vandalism were fed by anger at terrorist acts, officials say.

FBI's Dragnet Frightens Muslims

Taxi Drivers Say They Risk Bias Attacks and Loss of Income if They Continue to Work

My spanish class started last night. My roommate and I are both scared that we are not ready for it. Never mind that I have had the equivalent of 5 years of spanish and she spent several years in a bilingual school, it's been almost 10 years for the both of us since we've had a class. And we went and signed up for spanish 2. I had hoped that she would be a good influence on getting me to go to class every night, but now I find that I'm going to have to talk her into not dropping it in the first place.

In an effort to lose some of the nervous energy we both came out of class with last night, we went to the gym. As we ran on the treadmills, our discussion (which usually revolves around office and life gossip) was all about reflexive verbs and direct object pronouns. Exciting.

D'oh! How did I miss the fact that it is Banned Books Week September 22-29, 2001?!?

Take a while to read the Freedom to Read Statement. It's especially important to remember that it's our right as citizens of this country to read anything we damn well please. Every country we've ever villified has been guilty primarily of keeping knowledge from its citizens - knowledge of ideas, knowledge of its own practices, and knowledge of things considered by those in power to be dangerous to the state. Yeah, whatever.

While you're at it, try browsing around The Banned Books Project.

I was reminded rather forcefully by JessaJune and Davezilla.

Defending Your Freedom

-----Original Message-----
From: JessaJune
Subject: FW: Nostradamus joke

Warning... bad joke ahead.

"With the fake Nostradamus quatrains going around e-mail right now, I decided to do some research on him, and found an interesting tidbit. While Nostradamus was alive, he was in great demand by the various churches and temples in the area. Since this got to be a strain running from place to place, the religious groups got together and hammered out a schedule where they would each get Nostradamus' services for one or two days a month on a rotating basis.

It was the world's first prophet-sharing plan."

*******

Part II, via Kevin:

Worse yet (and understandably repressed in the historical records), was the fact that, as the churches of the day had little funds to compensate such a visionary as Nostradamus, each church would let him 'have his way' with his choice of sheep or goat from the church's flock.

In short, he also got stock options.

Via Jish, who is at an airport waiting for his flight, PhotoTag. A cool idea.

Update: It has been pointed out to me that the neat idea cited above was inspired by Kevin Fox's superfly Cameo project.

Just so's credit's given where credit's due.

I feel like there's a whole realm of knowledge in which I'm just completely ignorant. I really need to get out more.

Via the comments over at LYD

An afternoon chat on the pleasant nature of cute names for romantic partners (edited for content and ease-of-reading):

Them: Someone started calling me sweetheart last night. :-D
Me: Oh good. I like cute little names and the intimacy they imply
Me: Me, I talked to my grandma last night (to wish her a happy birthday). That put me in a good mood
Me: One day, I'll have someone call me sweetheart and mean it in a romantic way
Them: Yes, I have no doubt whatsoever that you will. You're a mighty fine catch and you deserve someone who appreciates that fact
Me: :-)

In lieu of working out last night, I decided something constructive had to be done. So after calling my grandma last night to wish her a very happy birthday, I cleaned out a few of the boxes that have been obscuring my view of the carpet since I moved into this apartment in June. After pulling out the tangle of random cables and telephone cord that I keep for some reason, and a stray pair of TV rabbit ears whose purpose has been lost since I decided I couldn't live without cable, I came across a bag that has been hauled around with me since well before I moved out of my parents' house 8 years, 9 apartments, and a few boyfriends ago.

By the time I moved out of my parents' house, I had had one boyfriend and had dated a one or two other men who didn't stick around very long. Into this bag went the mementos and memories from these relationships. When I got to San Francisco, I met Matthew, my first love, and we were together for several years. The only mementos I kept from this relationship were the letters we wrote to each other, both when we were in love and when we were breaking up.

So anyway, I found this bag last night and I pulled out the letters, thinking I was in for an evening of emotional masochism, especially since it's taking much more effort than I had imagined to get over my latest relationship.

Rather, I found that it was a rather therapeutic exercise. Having a little over a year of perspective on our relationship, it was nice to see that at one time, Matthew really did love me, and he loved me a lot. And it was good to see that, even through the bad times, we had a lot of respect and love for each other. And damn, when I'm in pain and I have time to think, I write really good letters.

Anyway, knowing that I had a love like that and lived through the demise of that love has made me feel better about making it through this latest ending. And the bag will be returned to its rightful place in the back of the closet, where I'll find it again next time I move.

So, why are New Englanders short?

Via Kevin.

A wonderful image to greet one first thing in the morning. Thanks Kevin.

I tried. Really I did. I had every intention of exercising tonight, but ... Well, you see, we're having the first rainstorm of the season here and we're getting a light display to go along with it.

So I think I'm just going to hang out here and enjoy the show.

Yeah, I'm going to turn off the computer. :P

Edmond's back!

Um, ok, something personal. Hmmm. Ok. Well, I had a great weekend. In lieu of feeling any sort of control in my life, I stayed home for the most part and cleaned. There's stuff that I still haven't unpacked since my move in June. And I brought more furniture home last weekend, so room had to be made. Oh, and I hung stuff on the walls. Kids, let me tell ya, it's been a long time since I felt home enough to take time to put stuff up on the walls (6? 7 years?).

Basically, I put my personal life in order (kinda), hung out with good friends, had some good food, and I saw a really cute chick flick. Yup. That's about it for right now.

Someone keeps browsing Blogdex and clicking on my site from there. Just for your information, I show up as number 262. Out of 43668? Not bad.

Sent to me this morning by Redcap, another librarian I know:

The tragedy of 11 September 2001 and our subsequent (and future) ordeal as a nation should challenge all of us working in libraries to reaffirm the core values of the library as an institution and the values of those of us serving the public through libraries. At a time of violence and fanaticism, we should remember that libraries stand for an informed and open society pursing the path of peace through knowledge. At a time of intolerance and cruelty, we should remember that libraries are dedicated to tolerance and compassion. For as long as we have enjoyed civilization itself, the library -- as an institution, as a mode of service, as a way of life -- has been dedicated to the work of memory, wisdom, and healing knowledge. It was through the library that civilization was preserved and transmitted in previous eras of barbarism and slaughter. Throughout the history of this great nation, especially since the rise of the free public library movement in the mid-19th century, the library has embodied a persistent democratic ideal: a belief in, and a commitment to, the intrinsic value and dignity of each and every citizen. In this time of national challenge, it is more important than ever that the library community reaffirm its core commitment to knowledge, democracy, moral and intellectual value. We in the library field serve an ancient and ever-new institution: the library, repository and enabler of knowledge, value, and dreams -- and civilization itself.

Dr. Kevin Starr
State Librarian of California

I have found my counterpart.

The latest Le Cadavre Exquise.

Very cool.

For Some in U.S., Grief Over Attacks Is Followed by Fear

Worship and Worry

Arab-Americans Are Finding New Tolerance Amid the Turmoil

Some Passengers Singled Out for Exclusion by Flight Crew

Australian Mosque Destroyed by Fire

In Jersey, attacks put coexistence to new test - Muslim enclave under strain of terror backlash

Cricket

Don't let the name warn you away. It's a pretty cool game.

You can tell what sort of day it's going to be when the singing of the birds outside the office door pisses you off.

Part II: I am also tired of the implication that Americans are stupid and uncultured compared to Europeans. <sigh>

..in the name of love..

Wow.

Holy, um, cow!

The American Spy Cow Information Center

Via 3Bruces

Martha Stewart disease

Via 3Bruces

Arab-Americans kicked off NWA flight

Why? "... because the other passengers refused to fly with them."

Via 3Bruces

Ack! My computer has been on all day long, without a single need for rebooting, and now it's tired and cranky. G'night, g'night. Tomorrow's Friday!!

Kevin has a blog.

I'm tired of hearing how much better everything is in Europe, banking especially. This is a drawback to working with Swedes and Germans.

You're welcome!

'It Is Not the Islamic Way': Muslims Denounce Terrorist Acts

For Muslim, Disaster Has Double Edge

Japanese Americans Recall '40s Bias, Understand Arab Counterparts' Fear

Calm Needed During Time of Anger

Schools Try to Protect Arab Students

Blame-Throwers

Battling backlash - Hatred puzzles S.F. man who fled Iran decades ago

A Disturbing Wave of Hatred

Police move to head off hate crimes

Movie President '04!

These are the people who will really suffer in the event of a war.

With bitter winter weather on the way, many in the war-ravaged and drought-stricken land are already forced to eat grass and animal fodder, aid workers in Islamabad said....

Khaled Mansour, regional spokesman for the WFP, said pre-famine conditions existed in Afghanistan, where 85 percent of the population live in villages and food distribution is seriously hampered by the latest crisis....

Those arriving through Pakistan's North West Frontier Province go to the squalid Jallozai camp where they have to live in tents in temperatures that can soar to 45 Celsius (113 Fahrenheit) in the summer and below zero in the winter....

Across the province are at least a dozen large camps of mud houses, tents and narrow dusty alleys where barefoot children play amid flies and garbage.

Schools do not exist.

According to UNHCR figures, Pakistan already hosts two million Afghan refugees and Iran 1.5 million....

Millions of Afghans have been displaced by 23 years of war, economic ruin and a severe drought in its third year....

"Afghanistan was on the brink of a catastrophe anyway, and then this happened," Tearfund spokesman Keith Ewing said, referring to the September 11 attacks in the United States.

"About 75 percent of Afghans don't have safe water, 90 percent don't have adequate sanitation and 75 percent don't have access to the most basic health care. One in every four kids dies before the age of five," said Oxfam's Matt Grainger.

I have a wonderful roommate. Really. She's nice, she's fun, and she cleans the bathroom.

We've had an interesting history together in the 5 years we've known each other. We moved in together the summer after we met in grad school and ended up being single at the same time for about a month or so.

At this time, there was a young man who was rather persistent in his attentions to her, but she would have nothing to do with him. He was nice, but a little boring. At one point when I was rather low about my loneliness, she suggested that perhaps I could go out with him. I replied that the day I had to resort to her cast-offs, she could just shoot me dead, as there would be no lower that I could go. As it turned out, they got together by the end of the summer and stayed together almost 4 years, splitting up just a few months ago.

His name is Dave.

Fast forward a few years... I am again single, having gotten together and broken up from my first love a few times, and I was again unhappy about being lonely. This time she suggested that I could go out with this great guy she knew at work, who was really cute, funny, and getting over a divorce. I responded that I'm not into blind dates or recently divorced guys on the rebound, and the subject was dropped. Well, shortly after the breakup a few months ago, he revealed that he was interested in her, and had been for some time. Despite both of them recognizing that she needed a lot of space after the end such a long-term relationship, they were soon spending all their time together.

His name is Dave.

Well, the second Dave was the typical manifestation of the Transition Man. He didn't last long. This is unfortunate, since he is a great guy, cute and funny and kind.

So my roommate has been looking into grad schools, wanting to pursue her passion of preservation and archiving and history, and discovered that the University of Washington has a great program in just that! She decided a few weeks ago that she wanted to go to Seattle and see what it is like and if it's someplace she'd like to live. A friend of hers suggested that she get in touch with a friend up there. She has since been emailing madly with this guy and has seen a picture of him and is looking forward to her trip with quite a bit of enthusiasm. She has not tried to set me up with him at all.

His name is Kevin.

This last weekend, she went to a party hosted by the same friend who put her in touch with the guy in Seattle. At this party she met another guy who later asked the hostess for her email address and has since sent her a very nice note.

His name is Kevin.

Last night she remarked that she can't carry this sort of correspondence on with two guys at once, and reflected that the second Kevin isn't really her type, and maybe he's more my type. I foresee a relationship in the making.

Hey, at least if she hooks up with the second Kevin, she’ll be more likely to stick around than run off to Seattle and leave me roommate-less.

Celebrity wuss scale

(my favorite is Godzilla).

Via Unxmaal.

A kitten.

thank you, sympathy from around the world.

Via JessaJune

You know what gets me? Americans who attack other Americans (or tourists, or students, or workers on visas, for that matter) because they look like the stereotypical Arab/Muslim/South Asian, chanting all the while that they are the "real" Americans, and that by beating up/killing old women/mothers/children, men with turbans/beards/brown skin, they're upholding whatever ideals they think America stands for.

All the while, in their unforgivable ignorance, they are attacking people who come from countries that we are counting on to be our allies in this potential military action that I'm sure they fully support. Heh. They are hurting the cause that they most want to happen right now. Do you think the Indian or the Pakistani governments will continue to support us if we continue to attack their people in this country??

Hmmm.

If they can't bury their prejudice and hate for the sake of respecting other human beings, you'd think they could at least bury them for the sake of their country (in whose name they commit these atrocities in the first place).

Moby, online.

Hindu woman wears crucifix to escape attacks

Muslims, mosques attacked in UK

Attacks on Sikhs worries Indians

16 attacks on Sikhs in Britain

I was brown, that's all that mattered.

Statement from Assistant Attorney General Ralph F. Boyd Jr. Regarding the Treatment of Arab, Muslim Americans or Americans of South Asian Descent

U.S. Commission on Civil Rights Announces Complaint Line To Protect Rights of Arab, Islamic Communities; Urges Tolerance in the Face of Tragedy

Anti-Muslim Violence Up, Officials Say

Anger Toward Arabs Delays 2 Murder Trials

Arab and Asian immigrants find hostility in daily routine

Confrontation Fueled by Grief Ends in a Beating and Regrets

Assaults on Muslims in Britain Seen as Revenge Attacks

Group Struggling to Shed Association With Terrorism

For better and worse, attacks breach divide between U.S. Muslims, neighbors

Man's death is laid to homegrown hate

Bush Visits Mosque to Forestall Hate Crimes

A list of hate crimes or harassment cases that have been submitted and Targeting of Sikhs and other Americans in the wake of the New York tragedy

In Md., Fending Off a Barrage of Ugliness

America's Sikhs Become Targets

Attacks and Harassment Continue on Middle Eastern People and Mosques

Prosecutor: Slaying a Hate Crime

Men to Be Fined a Cow for Sex with Teenage Girls

Via alt text

So I decided to sign up for a spanish class a few weeks ago, rather on a whim and under pressure from my roommate, thinking the $65 I had to pay just to register was a lot of money. Imagine my shock when I get to the bookstore last night to find that the books come to $105!! I don't remember my spanish books ever being this expensive in the three years I took it in high school and the three semesters I took it in college. In fact, except for my upper-level english classes, where the required book list was often a page long, I don't think I ever had to pay this much for books for one class.

And I'm relatively poor right now (plane trip fiasco, birthdays, speeding ticket, birthdays, pay cut, doctor's bills, birthdays). Poor, poor me. *cue violin music*

Sikhs say they're being made targets / Heightened danger of being judged by their appearance

Arab Americans targets of hate crimes

Australian stabbed saving Indian friend
Aseem Chhabra in New York

On September 14, Sean Fernandes and Robin Clarke were out night clubbing in the SOMA (South of the Market) district of San Francisco when they were attacked by a group of men. In the ensuing fight, Robin was stabbed with a Philips screwdriver. The men fled leaving behind their girl friends and Robin, who was bleeding profusely.

This news item may have gotten buried in the inside pages of a Bay Area newspaper had it not been for a couple of facts. Robin is a 26 year old, 6 foot tall, white Australian and he was stabbed by the assailants because they mistook Sean Fernandes, also 26, for an Arab. Sean is an Indian from Calcutta.

The two friends knew each other in Sydney where they worked as software engineers for Sabient Corporation. They are now roommates in San Francisco.

The attacks occurred at a time when South Asians and Arabs across North America are increasingly facing threats, following the September 11 terrorist attacks on the World Trade Center and the Pentagon. On Saturday a Sikh was killed in Arizona, in what has been listed as a hate crime. The same day a Pakistani store owner was killed in Texas and the motive could possibly be a hate crime.

"We were crossing the street towards a bar, when we noticed about 10 people -- five guys, with five girls