I am an asshole.

Yeah, it was a good show.

Must. Ignore. The. Internet.

Failing. Miserably.

Free. I am free. I turned in the keys to the old apartment last night and now all I have to do is sit back and wait for the deposit check to come in. And focus on making my new place a home.

So all I did after meeting with the apartment manager last night was make dinner and watch tv. Two and a half hours of Simpsons, Ed, and West Wing and too much spaghetti. And a guest coming into town tomorrow. And I'm going out tonight to see the A**hole Monologues. Maybe my night of relaxation was ill-timed.

Drawing Anime Part 1 [via Bears-cave]

SXSW pickup lines. Go on and contribute the one you're going to use a good one!

Wow. WTC Ten Years Ago

Humor

I realize that humor isn't for everyone. It's only for the people who want to have fun, enjoy life, and feel alive. -- Anne Wilson Schaef

Did you notice my birthday countdown to the right? I got that from Flygirl. Cool her.

When I tell people that I went to library school, one of the first things I generally get asked is, "So, you know all about the Dewey Decimal system, right?" No, no I don't. It was mentioned in passing in my Cataloging and Classification class, but we didn't focus on it at all. That doesn't mean that it isn't a valuable tool, it's just not one of those things that you take a class in.

Anyway, imagine my surprise when I found out that there's actually a product line for the Dewey Decimal Classification. You can get screensavers, posters, and comic books. Who knew it could be so exciting?? [via Library Daily News.]

Oooh, an update:

So on Monday night, I took the plunge and called up AT&T intending to cancel my cable. The nice lady I spoke to seemed determined to make sure that I understood that if I cancelled it completely, then I wouldn't have *any* tv to watch. I reassured her that I knew this, and that I had already tested it and knew that I get no reception in my apartment, but she still managed to talk me into keeping my local cable channels for a mere $10/mo for the next 6 months. Oh well, it's not much, and I can still watch West Wing when the mood strikes me. (Also, that plus Netflix still costs less than what I was paying for full cable.)

So anyway, right after that (we're talking like 6 or 6:30 p.m.), I signed up for Netflix, expecting to get a movie maybe by tomorrow at the earliest. Imagine my surprise then when I came home last night and found a movie on my doorstep. That's less than 24 hours for them to "process my application" and get my first movie to me.

I strongly suspect that they sent Tommy the Office Boy to my apartment to deliver it by hand, since I really don't see how the postal service could have gotten the movie to me that fast. Which is fine by me.

I [heart] Netflix.

Edmond has posted the pictures from his grandmother's funeral. The interesting thing about this particular memorial is the container that his grandmother's ashes are now kept in.

If nothing else, she certainly had style. And apparently she still does.

What kind of container would you want for your ashes?

Family Value-Oriented Post of the Day: Attorney General: "America Must Cease to be a Lurid Statuary of Deviant Sex" [via Megosteve]

In Search Of A Bra That Actually Fits. Aren't we all?

I'm interested in a redesign of this site. Would someone like to do it for me? I'll pay you in Amazon dollars, how's that?

Kinda cool: Vintage Skivvies.

Via 3Bruces.

Penis-Multilating Tampon Puts Rapists Out Of Business - Forever

Shocking. Every aspect of this story is shocking, from the idea to put spring-loaded razors into tampons to prevent rape, to the fact that rape is already so common that many women routinely carrry "antiretroviral medication with them to prevent HIV-transfer." You know, just in case.

Via Jen

[smile]

It's good to be reminded of the funny stuff: captions blog

Thanks Dave.

Tip: Netflix.com is really bad with actor name searches. I searched for Judy Holliday and it said "This person hasn't worked in any movies currently available for rent from Netflix". On the contrary, I found at least three movies that she'd been in by searching for the movie names. When I searched for Colin Firth, it only returned Shakespeare in Love, while I found at least 3 more movies that he'd been in as well (including the Pride and Prejudice miniseries that is always raved about in Bridget Jones's Diary).

So yeah. A lesson in alternate search strategies.

Beautiful, and oh-so-timely, especially for those of us in not-so-warm California dealing with our first snowfall of the season: Snow Crystal Photo Collections

Via Brad.

See which Greek Goddess you are.

Now that's good reinforcement for the morning after I've moved every piece of furniture I own.

It's reassuring every once in a while to be reminded that "The closest thing to a universal rule is that most men like a woman who's comfortable with her body, whatever her body happens to look like... " [What Men Really Love About Women's Bodies]

I think, deep down inside, most women know this. It's difficult for those of us with a few more curves than is the norm to remember that, though, what with all those flat stomachs and thin thighs out there, and I'm not talking about in magazines or on tv. They're everywhere.

18 days to go. You know what I'm talking about.

No Cigarette Needed

Chocolate is sex in a wrapper. The effect of it has on people is so strong it could conceivably render Maslow's Hierarchy into a linear plane. It also brings people into my cubicle.

Yeah, I know about that.

SXSWbaby!.

I'm going. Are you?.

404 Research Lab, how to make your own and whatnot. Must be nice.

Bird Dropping Casts Pall Over Tennis Tournament

Via Amit.

So sore. Funny enough, I don't think it's the box moving that's done this, but the effects of sleeping while stressed that has me creaking every time I move today.

I don't think I mentioned it, but Saturday went incredibly well. I still can't believe that we got so much stuff moved over. Thanks again to my online friends who came by, such as JessaJune, Jish, Dinah, and Edmond. Besides them, 10 others showed up and got soaked while lugging my stuff around.

And yesterday was really nice too, starting with a brunch in sunny San Francisco (did I mention that it didn't rain yesterday??????), and a walk around Stern Grove, some more moving, and dinner and Sex and the City.

A good weekend all around.

Lessons from my moving day:

Check to make sure that it won't be raining that day. (Note: it's not raining today, for example. Yesterday it just poured and poured and poured)

Apparently "move it all over" is not enough of a moving strategy for those of the male gender.

It's good to have friends who have access to vans.

In fact, it's just a good idea to have friends who are willing to show up on a rainy Saturday morning and spend 4 hours moving all your stuff from one point to another less than a mile away. And then come back the next day to get all the stuff that you didn't have packed in time for the day before (as well as the oogey stuff that was up in the rafters above the parking space).

It's also a good idea to keep stuff like soap, towels, bedding, silverware, tea, kettle and such close to the tops of boxes, so you can find them quickly in time of need. Otherwise, you tend to roam the apartment with a knife, cutting open every single box looking for the one thing you need right then. It's a good thing most of my boxes are rather shallow.

I'm off for the weekend, learning, moving and various and sundry other activities. Email will probably not be answered, nor the phone (as if I could find it anyway). Maybe next week will be better.

Gosh, since Monday, my imood has read vacant, lost, overwhelmed, exhausted and achy.

It hasn't been that bad. Really.

Unsure of crisps and nappies? Try the American/British Travel Dictionary.

Via Soapy's Place.

Oh my. Starbucks in Kuwait.

Via Cluttered Life.

The Dream, as written (sorta):

1:40 a.m.: I just had a terrifying dream. I can remember that it started out innocently enough. Dinah and I were gardening in the front bedroom of my parents' home, using human ashes as fertilizer to grow chickens and roses. You know, to relieve stress.

Then she went to the back bedroom and I went out to the kitchen. As I flicked on the light switch in the kitchen, she ran out, whispering frantically that someone was in the house. I knew she was right because the light had not come on in the kitchen, which meant that someone had cut the power. We raced back to her room, closed the door and I tried to move the dresser (my dresser) in front of the door. She started calling 911, since somehow we also knew the phone line had also probably been cut. I heard her say "No, this is the first time today" to their question of whether she had used their service yet. I moved the dresser a bit out from the wall, but not far enough in front of the door. I wanted her to do this while I spoke talked to them, but I didn't know how well I'd handle myself if I were given the phone.

At this point I woke up, breathing very fast as my heart raced in fear and I was completely paralyzed. As soon as I became conscious, I opened my mouth to breathe more quietly and thought of my phone, which brought a new panic, since the landline is dead in my current apartment, and my cell phone was out on the kitchen table. I lay there for a long while, the dream running through my head, straining to hear the noise of an intruder, baffled at the sudden turn of events in the dream. Where the hell had that come from? The only reason I could think of was that my subconscious was trying to tell me something.

Finally, convinced that no one was in the apartment, I knew I had to write this down or I’d forget it, but I couldn’t move my arms. This was almost as frightening as the dream. Focusing on little movements first helped, a finger first, then another, and eventually I could move my hand and then my arms. A book, a pen and a light, and here we are.

I have no idea what the meaning of that little episode was, but I’ll take the lesson that I should have my phone by the bed when I’m asleep at night.
**********
It took me an hour and a half to go back to sleep.

My friend Robert sent a note today:

It's the State Library's 152nd birthday today (two years to the day after the discovery of gold). In honor of the occasion you should go out and read a book about birthday cakes.

That's a good idea.

Oh, did I mention that it's now 21 days till my birthday?

Here I am!

I had a bad night, waking up terrified from a nightmare ... I wrote it down and it will appear here soon. Then I woke up to my alarm and a lot of pain, so I took some aspirin and went back to bed for a few hours. Now I'm here and definitely not feeling up to par. The whole week has been kinda foggy, but today is even worse. Poor me.

Good side: it's Thursday, and I'm almost all packed (thanks to JessaJune and her friends at the comic book store - those boxes are great for books and cds!).

I just saw Memento last week and all of a sudden, I have someone else to relate to. No, I'm not the ... oh, wait, maybe I shouldn't spoil it for the rest of you.

Let's just say that I can totally identify with the main character and his ... condition. Especially today.

Speaking of wishlists, have I mentioned that my birthday is a mere 22 days away??

So cool. Jen has set up a wishlist for her gradeschool library.

Go help out. Really, go on. It's tax deductible, if you give her your name and address.

Diary of a Mad Monk

Given my greatly varied assortment of books and the fact that I have read all of them, most more than once, I am of the opinion that what one reads is not nearly so important as what one learns from the act of reading.

As was shown at a recent bookswap that I attended, there is no reason to be ashamed or proud of anything on one's bookshelves. It is simply a matter of what you get out of that material.

Wow.

Via Edmond.

One of the drawbacks to being female and hormonal is that at certain times of the month, my sense of smell becomes really really sensitive. Actually, this is a drawback only when there's something unpleasant in the air. Otherwise, it can be a great gift.

Anyway, let's just say that it's definitely a drawback this morning, as someone is wearing so much cologne in our little office that I'm about to pass out. And given my inability to ignore anything that's bothering me, I am constantly conscious of it. Meanwhile, my other officemates don't even notice it, so I suffer alone.

Poor me.

So I'm seriously thinking of ditching my cable and getting a Netflix account.

Pros
- It would be almost half the price
- I could end the channel surfing once and for all.

Cons
- No more AMC.
- No more VH1.
- No more Comedy Central. Oh wait ... this one might be a pro.

Hmmm... Any thoughts on the matter?

I'm not a huge fan of Cubism, but I found an artist named Juan Gris a few years ago who I rather like. Unfortunately, his heirs didn't like to have his pictures on the net and they disappeared for a while. Now they're back!! My favorite is The Breakfast

Yes, I admit it. I forgot about The Ben Brown Show over the weekend. I wish there was an archive somewhere so that I could catch up.

US Military Believes Bin Laden Has Found the ONE RING

The ring, which last sat on the finger of Senator Strom Thurmon, is believed to have fallen off at some point during his last term and found its way to Afghanistan.

Nice story, explaining the inability of the entire world to find this man. I didn't particularly take to the ending of the article, but the rest is classic.

Via Mollie.

Sheep go to Heaven, goats go to Hell.

Or something like that.

If anyone's interested, you can see Cake performing online right now!

Cake webcast

Random evil kitten link.

The SXSW Web Awards interactive finalists!! Congratulations to everyone who got to this point, especially the two people I know, Jish and Mena!

Got an email the other day from the author of Rent-a-Stalker Online?, which explains a bit about those behind the famous Coincidence Design "service".

This has been blogged once or twice before, but my co-worker just sent this to me, so it warrants another mention: Insanity Test

Suffering from an acute case of need-a-kitten? Try a random kitten generator

Via 3Bruces.

What happened to Jon Secada??

Followed via Denise's site, Desktops, by a.lifeuncommon.org. I chose the flowers.

I was just attacked by a staple. Not the stapler, mind you. The staple.

A friend once remarked, after telling me about a dream he'd had the night before that involved me, a shopping cart, some blinds, and an escalator, that I'm clumsy even in his dreams. I guess I make an impression.

I got my keys and I got my apartment. I am still waiting for mail. I waited for the cable guy, I made cookies (and lots of them!), I went to a party that wasn't as bad as I thought it'd be, and was a lot more fun than I was expecting (and they liked my cookies too). Then I went to another party, which was everything I'd hoped it'd be, and more (they were very appreciative of the cookies as well). I got some books out of it too, and a great view of the City. I watched some movies, slept rather well, did some hiking, and ate a few too many of my own cookies. Yeah, it's been a while since I baked.

This week: I have to find a lot of boxes and begin packing up my life again.

And here I thought the days of rushing around to turn 10+-page papers in for a grade were over. Or at least I had hoped they were.

I am about to turn in a 31-page document we like to call an Element Description Document to have it ripped apart by my much-more-astute-and-not-in-such-a-hurry-to-leave-as-I boss.

Oh well. It's Friday and I'm off to pick up my keys!

For reasons better not asked about, I found myself at a Lance Bass fan site. What made me giggle, other than the fact that I was there at all, was that at some point in the loading of the page, this neat little animated popup, um, popped up (forgive the pun), spiraled around the page for a bit and then asked if I wanted a sample.

Can you guess what the popup was for?? I'll tell ya anyway: Trojan condoms.

Sent to me by one of my obviously alcoholic friends: Guess the Beer Label

Even if you're not Catholic, or into Christmas, this is cool.

Yes, I'm surfing the site and having a good time doing it.

Via Hoopla:

No Assumptions

In to work rather early this morning. I had to give someone a wake-up call at the ungodly hour of 6, and I just couldn't fall asleep afterwards. So, here I am, at 8:30. Hopefully, given that I worked rather late a few nights this week, I can leave early today. I didn't bring a lunch, so this could work out well.

I get to pick up the keys to my new place today (which means that I also write a check for an ungodly amount of money today too - good thing pay day happened this week). And just in time too. When I picked up the phone to make my wake-up call at the ungodly hour of 6, there was no dial tone. PacBell is much more efficient than I gave them credit for. I wish I could say the same for the post office, who I believe started forwarding my mail earlier this week, despite my expressly indicating that I didn't want it to start till today. I guess I'll find out if PG&E has done it's job when I go over there and turn on the light switch.

And I get to spend the first 4 hours of tomorrow waiting for the cable guy. Yippee!

Phenomenal Women (by Maya Angelou)

Pretty women wonder where my secret lies.
I'm not cute or built to suit a fashion model's size
But when I start to tell them,
They think I'm telling lies.
I say,
It's in the reach of my arms
The span of my hips,
The stride of my step,
The curl of my lips.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

I walk into a room
Just as cool as you please,
And to a man,
The fellows stand or
Fall down on their knees.
Then they swarm around me,
A hive of honey bees.
I say,
It's the fire in my eyes,
And the flash of my teeth,
The swing in my waist,
And the joy in my feet.
I'm a woman
Phenomenally.
Phenomenal woman,
That's me.

Men themselves have wondered
What they see in me.
They try so much
But they can't touch
My inner mystery.
When I try to show them
They say they still can't see.
I say,
It's in the arch of my back,
The sun of my smile,
The ride o