It's been my experience that in the best interests of friend politics, it is best not to immediately start in on the ex once a friend of yours has announced that he or she has broken up. After all, many couples find themselves back together within a short amount of time after the inital breakup, and then the one who said the ex was a dork/asshole/jerk/bitch/not good enough/etc is from then on known as the one who didn't like the other person. Subsequent social situations are awkward and that person might find themselves left out of later events. Even if the two in question don't get back together, there might still be feelings between them, and the backbiter's comments are not well appreciated by the one hurting after the breakup. After all, in either situation, there was some reason they were together in the first place, and to deny that is to make the time spent together and the relationship as a whole seem a waste. This leaves your friend feeling stupid, and although they might initially blame that on the ex, eventually they'd realize that it was their friend who made them feel that way, and then the friendship will suffer all the same.

Better just to be there for your friend and listen. Validate whatever feelings they are having, and keep your opinions to yourself.

That is all.

Oh wait, this is not directed at people who have contacted me thus far. This is for those who are wondering if they should say something like, "he wasn't worth your time," or "he didn't deserve you." Not that we're getting back together, but those are certainly not the feelings I'm having at the moment, and I'd appreciate it if those particular comments were left unvoiced, and I'm pretty sure he's feeling the same way. Thanks.

You know, for over a year before we were "official," before we'd done anything that stepped outside the lines people usually place around their relationships to keep their friends here and their love interests over there, we'd fallen into the wonderful habit of calling each other every night as we were going to bed. It was a great way to end the day, let me tell you. To wrap up our thoughts, communicate to someone our daily observations, to grow closer as friends.

Every single night.

Besides the hopes and dreams and the future that we have to set aside, beside the love that can't be acknowledged in any romantic way anymore, beside the awful loneliness that I know is enclosing both our hearts, there will come that moment as we're getting ready for bed, when we reach for the phone, and we can't pick it up. There will be a hundred, a million moments during the day when I think of something, or I see something that I want to tell him about and reach for the phone only to pull my hand away, but that moment in the night ... that's the moment that's going to hurt the most.

Feeling Blue. If Heather's question today was "What color do you feel?, my answer would be blue. Instead, I replied that my sunshine only has 1-3 rays.

My sentiments exactly.

I think it's funny when a club feels compelled to mention, while promoting itself, that its bathrooms are clean. I mean, yeah, it might be the characteristic that determines whether I'll go there or not, but ... but ... it just doesn't seem cool somehow.

On the other hand, the club is advertising a New Wave party, so perhaps it knows its target audience, the target audiences' age and the target audience's sanitary habits better than we would like it to. Hmmmm....

I'm sure I'm not the first to say this, but when setting one's alarm, it is important not only to check that the time is correct and that it is loud enough, but one must also TURN IT ON.

That is all.

So very funny, so very true: True Porn Clerk Stories.

When I was just a little high school grad, living at home and working my way through the local community college, I spent much of my time gainfully employed as a clerk in a video store. It was a good job, with flexible hours, and I could take home two movies every night - we were encouraged to do so, in fact, so that we could be better resources for the customers in their movie selections.

So anyway, this was a very small town. And we didn't have a Blockbuster or Hollywood Video yet. There were a number of smaller stores around, but we were the largest in the area (unless you wanted to drive half an hour into San Luis Obispo, where there was a Wherehouse Video, but that's so far away! Who wants to drive that far for a movie?). Not only that, we were the best source of adult videos in the county (and San Luis county is a mighty large county, I might add). The way it worked was this: the movie boxes were out on the shelves, and when a customer saw a movie he liked, he'd bring the box up and we'd then put the box in place of the movie on our shelves behind the counter. It was a good system, and worked most of the time, except when we had a movie behind the counter, but no one could find the box on the floor. Those were annoying situations.

So yeah, for the first six months I worked there, I was rather, um, squeamish around those renting the adult videos. As far as I was concerned, they were all gross perverts. They'd bring the box up for the movie they wanted to see, and I (and the other girls as well) would grab the corner of the box by my fingertips and retrieve the movie, holding it the same way. We'd have as little eye contact and conversation with the customer as possible and feel slightly sullied when they left. We fully agreed with the parents who complained about the adult section and felt it should be taken out. But it was never to be. That section made more money than the rest of the store combined. More than the moral standpoint, though, the owners had planned the store poorly (I'm not sure it was an accident, either), so that we could not see the room from the counter, and there was no door to the room, and kids tended to wander in there, whether they knew what was in there or not. Alas, it was something we just had to learn to live with.

[link via Ev]

There's more to this story, but it's been long enough in the writing and I'm no longer in the mood. Why don't you go get a good movie and amuse yourselves that way?

I feel bad. Or at least I feel like a dork. Brad thinks I'm in this photo (or at least he thinks those curls belong to me), but I honestly don't think that's me. Granted, I drank a lot on that trip, and not in quite the proper ratio to the amount of food I was taking in, so it could be that I was there, but can't remember it. On the other hand, my hair just doesn't curl like that most times, especially when I want it to. And as little as you can see of the profile, mine doesn't look that good either.

And besides, wasn't Fray Cafe right after 20x2? If I recall correctly (and remember, I was drinking a lot, so I could be wrong), I think many of us headed right over there, so that we would be sure to get in. And boy was I in. Right in the front row. Whowee! One of these days, I'll even post the pics. They're on my computer, titled and dated and everything.

UPDATE: I was wrong. I don't say that often, so take note. I just checked my pics and discovered that I was at that party. I even took pictures. I still don't think that was me, though. Nosireeebob.

Man Inspired to Not Do Drugs by Urinal Mat.

Don't ask me how I come across stuff like this.

Life update: slowly and lazily recovering from the trip to Montreal; my bestest friend is staying with me till Monday, when she returns to San Antonio and I don't know when I'll get to see her again; I have two movies from Netflix to watch, one is Amelie, which is wonderful, and the other is Pride and Prejudice, part 1 - I have to watch one or both so that I can get part 2, which is available for only who knows how long; there's a board game party tomorrow night that I'm looking forward to, although I can't seem to keep the guest list straight, so I haven't a clue who's coming - this is my way of creating excitement in my life; my nails are way too long and are starting to impair my ability to type efficiently; I have so much laundry to do, and no change to do it with - I think I need to go Home soon so that I can use my mom's machines; a week has gone by and no word from my erstwhile boss re: work, even low-level clerical-type stuff - I need to find a job and I find myself not quite up to the challenge - this won't matter soon, as it will become crucial regardless; my weight is leading to all those problems I hear about overweight people having, but I never thought I would have ... what to do about that? stop eating? hmmm...; have to improve the quality of my life and psych myself up to have the energy to do so.

Here's to self-induced mindjobs!

This picture is way cool. I'll have to hook up with some of my smokin' friends to do something like that. Hmmm... let's see if I can find some smokin' friends...

Jet lag sucks. ::yawn::

Apparently, the way to get more than a few comments on a post is to leave it up for almost a week.

So yeah. The Man and I just returned from a trip to Montreal, where most people speak fluent french and, according to at least one person (ahem), most of the females represent what women are "supposed" to look like.

BTW, if you ever have to make a flight that's more 4 hours, try try try to fly first class. There's a reason that first class exists, and it's not to make all the economy fliers feel like second class citizens. There's a heck of a lot more leg room, they start feeding you the moment you board, they give you headphones instead of making you rent them, and the seats are very adjustable. I've never sat in the front of a plane before. It's kinda neat to be able to get off as soon as the doors open, instead of waiting an extra half hour.

Oh, and I forgot that travelling requires a strong back/legs/feet/everything else. It's a measure of how beautiful the city is and how much I liked the people I met there that I still had a good time despite the discomfort I was in every time I had to stand up.

Poor me. A free trip to a famous city, first class flight, real indian food almost every night, and I still find it in me to complain. Sorry. It's my nature.

On that note, I'm sooooo happy to be home, where I can live out of my dresser instead of a suitcase. Hello world!!

If you had a choice between being disfigured vs being blind, which would you choose and why?

Yay!!!

I just woke up to my phone beeping at me, letting me know that I had a message. "Ah," I thought, "there's the message that Jish left me yesterday afternoon. Finally."

I was wrong. It was 15 messages left for me since June 30!!! And some of them were even important.

So if you called me on my cell phone any time in the last three weeks and I didn't call you back, don't assume I was ignoring you. I just got the message about 10 minutes ago. If I don't call/write/IM you back by the end of today, then you can assume I was ignoring you :)

Sprint PCS sucks sometimes.

Sometimes I joke and say that the only reason I have friends is because I own a truck and they like to keep me around for when they move. Sometimes, though, it makes me feel good to be able to use my truck-power to help people out of bad situations, like moving out of bad relationships in a hurry, etc.

Here I go to save the day!!

Better Off Dead is available on DVD. I need this movie. Won't you buy it for me. Shameless, I know. And unemployed. You can come over and watch it with me!

It's Dinah's birthday today!! Why don't you send her a card, or better yet, buy her something!

Sometimes it's a good thing that my computer clock tends to be fast. A very good thing.

New Yorker Magazine asked actor/comedian Robin Williams about a court decision to remove "under God'' from the Pledge of Allegiance, he suggested just saying "one nation under Canada.''

Yes.

[via Bryan ]

I went with my man to see Devdas this evening. 3 solid hours (well, not really solid, there's an intermission halfway through) of Bollywood's finest. And I mean that. The set are gorgeous, as are the outfits. The singing and dancing and music are beautiful. The acting ... well, I don't think people go to see movies like this for the acting. There were so many crying scenes I thought I was watching a Demi Moore film. But my point is this: I have now watched enough of these movies to actually start enjoying the musical scenes. Which is surprising, given how cheesy I used to consider them. Not that they're not cheesy, it's just that that's not the focus of my attention when I'm watching them.

In any case, if you're at all sensitive, bring tissue when you go to see this one. I heard quite a few sniffles in the audience towards the end there.

Heather's having something done that I'm pretty sure would give anyone the shivers. Best of luck to her - I hope it turns out to be a false alarm.

I just got home from a dinner with the Peninsula Macrobiotic Community. It was kind of expensive (yes, I believe that $13 for dinner is expensive, especially when you're serving yourself and sitting at folding tables), but very good. I'm still not sure what macrobiotic is, but I think it has to do with food that is unprocessed and grown within a certain radius of where you're sitting. Tonight's menu was Leek, Fennel and Potato Chowder; Baked Beans with Barbecued Seitan; Rice and Green Onion Croquettes with Tofu Sour Cream; Many Veggie Salad; Corn on the Cob; Peanut Butter Bars; and tea. And then a long, long walk, admiring and criticizing the interesting choices in home development people with a lot of money have made around the area.

That's all! Those interested in healthy eating might be interested in looking into this. Those not so interested in health, might simply look into it as a new and exciting experience in food!

Inaction Figures. Given how I've spent my unemployed time, these would be perfect for me. [via Mena, the sister-in-law]

Shannon's sister has painted some canvas squares to hang in her living room. Aren't they lovely?

I've had my hummingbird feeder up since the weather turned and it wasn't till just now that I finally heard the little chitter and hum that meant it was finally being visited. But he just hovered, checked it out, and flew off. I think there's something wrong with my feeder.

But a new occupant has taken up residence in my porch, uncomfortabley close to just about everything (as far as I'm concerned) so I'll have to wait till someone who's not arachaphobic can come by and take care of him before I venture out and take care of the feeder.

A tip for bloggers, the ones having trouble with permalinks and your archives. You know who you are.

Don't forget everyone! Tonight is the infamous Galaxy Girls show! Be there or be square!

Courtesy of Davezilla and friends, The Bible in 5 Words, Old Testament and New Testament.

Oh my. Gail has posted a recipe she found in book from the Clarisses sisters of the Vila do Conde convent in Portugal: Liqueur de roses

testing

This Fish Needs A Bicycle

It's lovely to be a feminist and all. Have gotten in plenty a tizzy over the inequity of the female role in this bizarre universe. Have even tried out the independent, "A woman needs a man like a fish needs a bicycle" track, and been quite good at it. Eventually, however, I have settled upon this conclusion:

This fish needs a bicycle.

If not for comfort, at least for entertainment's sake.

And I thought the Jumpie Thingies (my term) were loads of fun for a kid's party. Turns out the Titanic Super Slide is even more fun. Nothing like making a toy out of a disaster to make great entertainment for the kiddies! [via 50 cups]

ADCRITIC.COM appears to have, um, reappeared. Yay! [via disserto]

Also, this is pretty "nifty," as Dave points out.

My New Favorite Radio Station: KCEA 89.1

The sounds of the Swing Era provide the basis for the KCEA musical format - from the original big band and small group recordings of the '30's and '40's to the best of the swing sounds recorded in all the decades that followed. From the Basie, Ellington, and Goodman big bands of yesterday to the Basie, Spitfire, and Juggernaut big bands of today. And we play it 24 hours a day.

Not only that, it's commercial-free. And mostly talk-free. And danceable. And just plain fun.

It's unfortunate that their signal isn't strong enough to get much past San Mateo or Mountain View. When the talk of the other stations gets just too much, this is where I head.

Will someone please have a bbq or picnic or party of some sort so that I can bake a pie and get rid of the berries that have been in my fridge forever?? Please? Pretty please? Pretty please with a cherry on top?

Thanks!!

Trebor's ponder cam

i felt my cam was a bit dull, what with me just sitting here all day, so i decided to provide some insight into what i *might* be thinking about.

Hey everyone!! The Galaxy Girls are having their monthly show this Sunday!

Details:
Date: July 14, 2002
Theme: Bastille Day Celebration
Hostess: Miss Rula Planet
Co-Hostess: Miss Marlene Manners
Time: 7:30 p.m.
Location: New George's
Address: 842 4th St., San Rafael, CA
Cover? Yes, $8

It's always great to see the Girls put on a show - lotsa fun, with the possibility of interaction as well! Hope you can make it!

Hey look! I made into a graphic on Philo's site!

A graphic what? you might ask. And I would respond, get your mind out of the gutter.

I have a group of friends who periodically get together, most people bring something to eat, and we read a Shakespeare play, each person having chosen a part or parts out of a hat. There are three English majors in the group, and the rest of the people make up a varied and motley group of talents and interests. Although the prospect of reading a play, much less a Shakespear play, puts many people off, we have a really good time. Last night we read Measure for Measure, a very, um, adult sort of story.

In any case, we ordered pizzas as the main course, and one of them was the Al Bundy. I had a few slices, and I must say, it's a good thing I'm unemployed and have no social life on Tuesdays because I'm pretty sure no one would want to be around me today. Whole roasted cloves of garlic, yum.

Hey, take a look! My buddy, Kevin is hosting a panel at next year's SXSW: The Tech Report interactive. Sounds like a blast, and I'm sure Kevin will do a fine job moderating the discussion.

My honey sent me this yesterday: The "Perfect" Man. Is this your idea of the perfect man? I'm not sure it's mine, as I don't particularly enjoy shopping, or sitting at home and discussing the relationship. But hey, at least someone is trying, right? Right?!?!?!

Packed in way too much yesterday: was walked by the dog, the dog who is overloved and undercared for by her owner, missed the reiki session with Melissa, and drove to Woodland to see a play starring JessaJune's sis. Today we're going biking in Golden Gate Park. The first time I've been on a bike in about 7 years, I think, not counting the stationary bikes at the gym.

Oh, and the sex shop? Not what I was expecting, but a good experience for all that.

I'm taking a chance that my family doesn't read this site very often by telling the world that I will be visiting a sex shop today for the first time in my life. Good Vibrations here I come! Or rather, um, I'm going to visit you today!

Yeah, that's it.

In other news, those are my nails.

Happy 4th of July!

Happy Birthday to Kevin! Why don't you send him a card, or buy him something so he has more to carry when he packs up his car and moves across the country!

Gave my baby a car wash and an oil change today. 10 years old, 3 trips to the mechanic (a leaky gasket, a tuneup, and a broken differential - $1500 total), 126,500 miles, and no new car in sight ... I'm glad I went with a car that will last forever.

Jay turns 25 (ahem!) today! Send him a birthday wish, or just leave a happy comment on his site!

My truck is 10 years old today. Happy Birthday, Truck!

Well, we saw Monsoon Wedding last night, and it's as good as everyone says it is. Not as polished as a Hollywood movie, but I think that made it better. And though my companion thought they could have left out some of the less savory parts of the story, I think it was good to leave them in. It added to the reality, made everyone more human, not just a happy happy story. Their joy was real and their sadness was real too. If you are able to, I suggest seeing it.

Heh. Turns out Indians are just like everyone else after all. As one who is dating an Indian, this is very comforting. [via Jishnu]

Woman: My Assigned License Plate Is Suggestive. You know, in other places, people pay to have this sort of message broadcast on the highways and biways! [via Davezilla]

I have accomplished two things today:

1) I finally sat down and learned how to program radio stations into the stereo I got for Christmas.

2) I had a wonderful, 3-hour lunch with my best friend.

That's not bad, if you ask me.

Today is Sarah's birthday! Send her a card, or, better yet, a gift!

Life updates:

I'm still unemployed. One of these days I'll do something about it.

We went to the Pride Parade yesterday and I was inordinately proud of the women who displayed their mastectomies as a sign of their strength. We also saw Sir Ian McKellen as one of the Grand Marshalls ... as his car reached our place in front of the Four Seasons, he climbed down from his perch on the back of the rear seat and started shaking hands with the people in the crowd on both sides of the street. As he was getting ready to climb back in, he turned to our side and asked if anyone had any coffee he could have. Many people pointed down the street to Starbuck's, but one young man behind us happened to have a drink to sacrifice to the cause. Not such a sacrifice, as it turned out, as the drink was delivered to Mr. McKellen, he motioned to the young man to join him in the car. A hop over the fence, thunderous applause, and a sheepish wave over his shoulder to his boyfriend, and the kid was off down the street with the actor's arm around his shoulder. The looks on both their faces were priceless.

Nancy Sinatra was there as well as a Grand Marshall, with her boots perched up on the seat in front of her, but she didn't go walking anywhere.

My best friend is in town for a month. I'm looking forward to spending time with her.

Looking forward, also, to a trip to Montreal later this month. This was planned well before I was laid off, but it will still come as a nice getaway from the stresses of unemployment, and a chance to spend some time with J's family.

'Tis a beautiful day today. I think I'll spend some of it outside.