Be your own Disneyland.

Wednesday, April 30

Too frickin' funny:
Baby Got Back [via Sarah]
Will the real Saddam please stand up? [via Dave]

I've been invited to go to Osento this weekend. It sounds great, until you get to the end of the article, where they tell you the dress code. I haven't been in my birthday suit in the presence of a group of adults for over a couple of years. It was difficult then, and my self-image hasn't improved any since then. I'll have to build myself up to this.

Can you believe this guy is the same as this guy? I know. I was surprised too.

I can't understand Portuguese, so I miss out on the commentary, but the photos over at Fotogarrafa are awesome. [via Enigmatic Mermaid]

Two beautiful pictures, by two beautiful people:
Happy birthday, baby.

Tuesday, April 29

Scott is performing at an open mike tonight - you should get some free ice cream and go!!

Happy Birthday, Heather!

Go get some ice cream today and send her a bday note.

Monday, April 28

Well, after many hours awake and on a plane (one that made two stops between my origin and my destination), I'm back in California. So. So. Very. Tired.

Several observations:
- I went to see The Life of David Gale yesterday for $1.50. We snuck in sodas and candy since they didn't allow outside food and drink. As we were leaving, we noticed the sign "Express Lane: Large Size Only". San Antonio didn't get it's reputation as the fattest city in the country for nothin'. I should probably mention that Texas Oreos* and Texas Twinkies** were a big hit at the street fair on Saturday.

- My seasonal allergies don't appear to act up outside the Bay area. While others were miserable in the heat and the pollen, I was just miserable in the heat.

- A comment on the weather: it was fucking hot. However, all the time I was sweating and sighing, I was fully aware and was thankful that it wasn't really fucking hot.

- Texans are a pretty friendly lot. I met quite a few liberal, selfless and mindful people while there.*** And they weren't the other tourists from California.

- I went country dancing last night for the first time in well over a year. Lesson: if you've forgotten your boots, borrow someone else's, 'cause those sandals just ain't going to cut it. Ankle support. It's very important.

- Speaking of 'nothin'' and 'ain't', it took me a total of 6 hours to pick up the drawl. By yesterday afternoon, you wouldn't have known that I didn't grow up there.

- San Antonio is a fun town.

- Oh, and Fiesta is "10-day celebration held every April to honor the memory of the heroes of the Alamo and the Battle of San Jacinto and to celebrate San Antonio's rich and diverse cultures." While they do a good job overall, we noticed (and apparently this is a large bone of contention in the city) that while all the cultures were celebrated, the only ones represented in the official events were the white ones. Incredible in a place as diverse as San Antonio.

- Pictures forthcoming.

*They're deep-fried.
**They're deep-fried too, with a cherry sauce over them.
***The conservatives were nice people too, don't worry.

Friday, April 25

I'm in Texas. Again. This would make my third trip to this state in, oh, let's see ... 4 MONTHS!!

So I'm in San Antonio this time, celebrating Fiesta. I'm not sure what it is either, except it seems the whole city shuts down for a week to party. I'm up for that.

I'll be back next week. Go ahead, comment on something as long as you're here.

ps: SuperShuttle sucks. Don't ever use them to get yourself to the airport, especially at 5 a.m.

Wednesday, April 23

Today's themes:

Thank god for the internet, how did we function before we could do everything online?

- and -

Where did all my money go? I still have a week to go before getting paid again!

Scary article. [via Kevin, who articulates the same fears I experienced upon reading this.]

Tuesday, April 22

Rannie's honey got his car broken into not once, but twice since last Thursday! The repair costs are rising ... could you help him out?

Jane is looking for a roommate. Do you have anyone to suggest??

frus┬Ětra┬Ětion (fr-strshn) n.

1. a. The act of frustrating (such as what a computer does) or an instance of being frustrated (such as dealing with a computer).
b. The state of being frustrated, as in: talking to your computer. Also, swearing at your computer, cursing at your computer.
2. Something that serves to frustrate, such as your computer.

Cure: Mozart Piano Concertos 3 & 4, played on the computer CDROM.

Awesome pictures: Tucker Nichols [via RileyDog]

Do you ever wake up in the morning and feel like you're going to fall apart soon? If so, then you'll know how I felt around 5:30 a.m. Good morning, Advil.

Monday, April 21

A funny for today (yesterday, actually): Peeps Research.

Also, do you know how many bloggers are having their birthdays soon? In no particular chronological order, here are a few:

April 24th: Min Jung (Wishlist)
April 26th: Karen (Wishlist)
April 26th: Bill (Wishlist)
April 29th: Heather (Wishlist)
April 29th: Adam (Wishlist)
May 8th: Jessica (Wishlist)
May 16th: Derek (Wishlist)

I have a friend who has spent the last several months overseas in Kosovo while in the Army Medical Corps. Now he's due to come back home for 2 weeks before returning to head off to the Middle East. Mind you, these are both considered war zones.

However, for some inexplicable reason, the Army does not feel that it is responsible for paying for his ticket home while he is between war zones. Their official policy is that if someone is in an area like this for a minimum of 230 days, then they'll pay for a plane ticket home. He has been there for a mere 210 days, but will be going back for another several months when his two weeks are up.

His wife is currently working her ass off to find a ticket that will be cheaper than $1500 to bring him home from Germany.

James is throwing a "redesign his site in return for books" contest. If I could design, I'd do it.

Happy Monday!

Reading Where Babies Come From [submitted by Kevin] reminded me that I dreamt about a baby last night.

I don't think the baby was mine, but I had to care for it for a short time, and I hadn't a clue what to do. It laughed at me. Not in the 'oh look, the baby is laughing, isn't that cute?' sort of way, but in the 'the baby is laughing at me because it knows what should be done, and I am fumbling it all about' sort of way. It was a pleasant sensation to hold the baby (I can still remember how it felt), which was unexpected. The nerve-racking, however, was not unexpected.

Sunday, April 20

Happy Easter!!

Saturday, April 19

A couple of new pages on the site, useful for residents of and visitors to the Bay area:

Museum Cheap Days
Bay Area Farmers' Markets

Let me know if I've missed anything, will ya? Thanks.

Friday, April 18

Fitting end to a less-than-ideal week:

As I was leaving my apartment this morning - literally, the door was open and I had my purse and keys and bills in hand - I thought to myself, "Self, you need something other than Angry White Boy music at work, so pick something out quick. Come on, we're running late already."

So in short order, I had a selection that I felt sure would get me through the day comfortably. Imagine my surprise when I got to work and prepared to pop one of them in the player, ... and found the case empty.

Turns out that out of the 6 cds I brought to work, 4 of them were empty. And one of them had a wholly dissimilar cd in it. So today, it's Angry White Boy music, Pink and Ella Fitzgerald.


So sweet it'll make your teeth rot: puppies, puppy, puppies and a puppy. And an account of how everyone's getting along. Happy Friday to you too!

I have a friend whose parents are going to a wedding this weekend. It's a wedding for a Jew and a Muslim, and it's going to be on Sunday, also known as Easter, which I suppose is relevant only to their Christian friends.

I wonder if they planned that on purpose? I think it's delightful.

Thursday, April 17

Jish's housewarming pics are up.

Most of the strange search requests for this site make me smile. A few even make me chuckle. This one made me laugh out loud.

And remember my little post about my alcoholic friends? Here's the same thing, only funny.

Wednesday, April 16

Wowza. [via Bryan]

Happy day, Heather got her birthday wish.

So I got my taxes turned in last night.

Turns out that not all post offices are open late on 4/15, such as mine. They did, however, post a list of places that returns could be dropped off. One such place was near the airport. I drove around looking for it, fearing that I would pass it by entirely and have to venture into SF and worry about parking, etc. As it happened, I didn't really have to worry about that at all. There was a huge traffic sign in the middle of the road, flashing "STAMPED TAX RETURNS -->". Myself and the other sheep drivers turned in where they said to, and there were two guys holding those big mail bins out so that drivers just had to slow down and throw their returns in and drive off. Barely half an hour after heading out of my apartment (and looking for a place that I had no idea where it was located except "near the airport"), and I was done.

The stress relief is intense, even if I did have to pay. Grrr.

Tuesday, April 15

Haha. I'm 40% gay, it would seem. I'm a "straight-laced girlie girl with just a hint of [my] butch side sometimes popping out." [via Kevin]

Popping out? What in the world does that mean? And I resent the "girlie girl" reference. I am so not a girlie girl.

Mental note for next year: do your fucking taxes before the night before they're due!!!

It's been a long time since college - I can't deal with the stress of procrastination anymore.

And remember:

Speaking of my submissions for the 300 Exposures project, they're up.

Well, I didn't have donuts last night for dinner. No, I was freaking out too much about 1) taxes and 2) getting my submissions in for the 300 Exposures project. Jane was kind enough to come over and point out to me that there is a typo on the 1040 that asks you to go find your tax level, but directs you to the page for figuring out your capital gains tax. For that, she got free pizza. Now I'm tired and considering wiping my calendar clean, since the stuff I've had written on it for the past 2 days have not come to pass because I've been unable to follow through.

Monday, April 14

Due to an apathetic mood and tax-induced stress, I might actually go to the Krispy Kreme located near my apartment for the first time since I moved in back in November tonight.

That's right. For dinner.

[inspiration via Clamhead]

Did I miss the memo in high school or college that outlined the benefits of drinking yourself incapacitated? I know I sound a prude here, but I just don't get it. I have been hung over once, and it was awful and I'll never do that again. And I'm pretty sure it wasn't even the alcohol that did it, since I only had 1 1/2 beers and lots and lots of fondue.

I know other people say this over and over again when they've overindulged, but then they continue to do it over and over again, regardless. I mean, I watch people drink so much that they can't function, and then the next day they can hardly move.

Throwing up, a headache, an upset stomach, not remembering what you did the night before ... Is it fun at the time? Is it fun afterward? Really, I don't get it. Peopl who do this are not martyrs and I don't feel sorry for them.

Sunday, April 13

So I went to a party last night and made the major mistake of drinking quite a bit. I'm not sick, but I am without a car and it's driving me crazy. Figuratively, of course, since without a car, driving of any sort is kinda difficult.

I need to find out how much a cab costs to go from my house to the party house.

Saturday, April 12

Busy, busy month. No sooner does one event happen than another evite shows up in my inbox. Not that I'm boasting, but I have had at least 7 evites in my queue since the end of last month, and at least three of the original events have already taken place. I don't think I've ever been this popular. I'm thinking it's not me, though. I strongly suspect that this year is just busier than previous years. That, and more people are using Evite to make sure all their friends know about their plans.

In any case, should you want to invite me to anything, just send it to, a la Wendy.

Friday, April 11

I'm tired of today. I have been for several hours. Can we just skip to 6 p.m. now?

I've come to the conclusion that if I don't write it down on my calendar(s), then it won't happen.

I had planned on going to a concert tomorrow night, but that was cancelled in favor of a party. As a result of the cross-out and write-in, there was no room to jot down the movie date I had planned for tomorrow afternoon. Now the date's been cancelled, and the only thing I can think when I look at my calendar(s) is "well, now my day really is as open as it looks."

Yeah, the date was cancelled in favor of job interviews in Portland. And not telecommuting jobs either. I'm sensing that perhaps this isn't the best time to start a relationship. Backing away slowly ...

Thursday, April 10

Scott is playing the open mic at Caffe Verona in Palo Alto tonight. He is encouraging everyone to come and enjoy all the performers.

And he'll have CDs.

Hippie Crap Saves The World [via Heather]

Via Billegible: Kiss up - the game you can really get your lips around. Some of the more interesting rules:
1. The more states you hit and make out with someone in the more points you score.
2. Minimal time limit on the make out session - 10 - 15 minutes. Short smooches, while fun, don't count.
3. One point per state (not per person)
4. Two points per International country.
11. Puerto Rico - it's a commonwealth not a state. Just like the US congress - we don't know how to score this one.
14. The person you are kissing must consent to you kissing them or you lose all previous points earned.
15. Sleeping with said make out person does not in any way add to your point value.
Sounds like a road trip to me. There's a scorecard too, just for keeping track.

Wednesday, April 9

Remember spring? It's still in the air. This is just about the sweetest thing I've read in a while: Everyone Says I Love You.

Another good link from Andre: Vertigo, then and now. Pics of San Francisco from 1958 and now. Cool.

Must ... stop .... staying up ... so ... late. zzzzzzz .... *thunk*

Tuesday, April 8

Hey, there are a few new galleries up for 2003 ... go check 'em out!

Damn. Taxes are due a week from today. I guess I should do something about that.

On the radio this morning they asked the following question: If you could automatically be at your ideal weight simply by giving up a food you like, what would it be?

It can't be something you already don't like, or something you're ambivalent about. It has to be something you loooove. It took me a while to think about it, but I think to be at my ideal weight by doing nothing more than giving up a food ... I'd give up anything. Even pizza. Or pasta.

Except chocolate. I don't think I could give up chocolate. Or cheese, for that matter.

So what would you give up?

Monday, April 7

Mmm... fresh-cut strawberries and chocolate ice cream. Jane buys good dessert.

I'm heading to San Antonio in a few weeks to attend Fiesta 2003!

Has anyone been there? Can you tell me what it's like? My friend tells me she'll find me a cowboy who can dance to sweep me off my booted feet (not wearing those boots on the plane again to save room in my suitcase - I learned that lesson last time). I am really looking forward to it.

Happy Monday!

I'm judging, from the number of cars still in my garage this morning, that a lot of people weren't aware that the time changed this weekend. If not for my cell phone/computer/VCR, I probably wouldn't have known either.

Sunday, April 6

The Oyster and Beer Festival was yesterday. Unfortunately, I dilly-dallied too long and didn't get there till about 3:30 and then, in the great tradition of large group events, no one could find one another, people were getting hungry (you can only have so many oysters), and I had to leave to see a concert. It was fun to hang out with those I did find, though, and I left feeling very good about things.

The concert was great. I'd been loaned copies of Maroon 5 and Guster to prepare for the concert, and while I was pretty sure I'd enjoy Maroon 5, I was getting ready to be bored for the second half of the show. It was not so! They are much better live than their recorded music lets on.

All in all, a great Saturday. And dilly-dallying has its benefits as well - I was home when my bestest friend from Seattle called and pitched the idea of a cruise in August. Now I have a reason to get in shape.

Friday, April 4

What externally motivates you to be a better you?

Losing weight
1) Never actually believing it possible, I ran into an ex-boyfriend about a year ago, on Pier 39. He was with his fiancee, I was with someone destined to be my next ex-boyfriend. It was damp (=frizzy hair), we had been eating ice cream for dinner (=baggy clothes) and I hadn't been expecting to see anyone I really wanted to impress (=no makeup). If I had been thinner, this would not have bothered me at all. Should there ever be a next time, I want to be ready.

Doing volunteer work
1) more and more of my friends are having babies. I understand the motivation, mostly. Those who don't just want to have someone in their lives who has to love them want to be part of something bigger than themselves. They want to bring life into the world and nurture it, yadda yadda yadda. Out of a deep and abiding sense of guilt over my self-indulgent lifestyle, I volunteer. It's still about me, but at least someone else benefits too. And you can be pretty sure that anyone else who is volunteering is a very nice person. This is a great place to meet men. Yes, there are cute guys who do volunteer work.

1) It's easier to say yes and get that phone call over in 5 minutes than spend 10 minutes explaining why you can't spare $10 $20 $30 to feed the children/fund the police/help the homeless.

Thursday, April 3

Memorable quotes from the last few hours:

"Get dressed, we're going out. You'll feel better in a girdle." - Phyllis Calvert, as Margaret Munson

"How dare he make love to me and not be a married man!" - Ingrid Bergman, as Anne Kalman

Indiscreet is really a gem of a movie. You should see it.

Him: Limp Bizkit is making me angry. I like it
Me: Linkin Park was doing the same for me earlier today.
Him: Were you head banging? I was. I'm dizzy now.
Him: I'm too old for this.
Him: I'm too old for everything it seems.
Me: it should give you a headache. It gave you a headache as a kid too, you just didn't notice it. Your brain is bigger now, it makes more of a dent.
Him: My brain has shrunk ... I think it bounces around in the empty space.
Me: Well, there you go.

Cool Post of the Day: Animals in the War [via Haughey]

Wednesday, April 2

The California Academy of Sciences is way cool. Way cool on a Wednesday night, with hardly anyone there, and free. And parking? We parked right outside the door.

I had an emergency I just had to work on that came in 3 minutes before I was supposed to leave for lunch. So much for lunch. And my shoelaces can't seem to stay tied today.

A bit of silliness:
O proud left foot, that ventures quick within
Then soon upon a backward journey lithe.
Anon, once more the gesture, then begin:
Command sinistral pedestal to writhe.
Commence thou then the fervid Hokey-Poke,
A mad gyration, hips in wanton swirl.
To spin! A wilde release from Heavens yoke.
Blessed dervish! Surely canst go, girl.
The Hoke, the poke -- banish now thy doubt
Verily, I say, 'tis what it's all about.
-- by William Shakespeare
(Jeff Brechlin, Potomac Falls)
[via 50 Cups of Coffee]

I heard on the radio this morning about Project Open Hand today and it sounds like a great deal, both for those who need the service as well as those who volunteer.

I've been thinking lately that it's time to start making my life not so much about me again, and I think this is just the project I need. I'm not so certain that delivering food is my calling, but I like kitchens. I can do that.

Hi everyone,

A friend of mine has sent out an invitation that I'd like to extend to the general public. There's an evite involved, so if you're interested, please let me know and I'll add you and all will be well. Thanks!

From the evite:
As many of you know, I sit on the Board of a wonderful and successful nonprofit located in the East Bay, Berkeley Dispute Resolution Services (BDRS).

Their mission: promote peace among neighbors, families and all community members of Berkeley and its surrounding area by using and teaching the skills of mediation, conciliation and collaborative problem-solving for the resolution of conflict. (Please see

On May 7th an ecclectic group of the Bay Area's funniest, weirdest, and most diverse comedians will perform as a benefit for BDRS.

Doors open at 7:30, show begins at 8PM and the program will run just under 2 hours.

The event is open for all ages and those 21 and over will be able to purchase ADULT beverages (like Ensure or Metamucil). Snacks will be available at the venue as well.

Tickets are on sale beforehand (from me) and at the venue for $15 and up. All proceeds go to BDRS.

This is a group I care deeply about and if you come, you will help this group continue to do great work.

Tuesday, April 1

An update to my two earlier posts re: free museums, thanks to Brian:

The California Palace of the Legion of Honor is free on Tuesdays, and it's open till 5 every day.

The Oakland Museum is free the second Sunday of each month, and it's open noon - 5 p.m.

I commented on the smell that the flowers at the end of our row were emitting, which the guy who sits next to them could not detect. He suggested that in addition to being a super smeller, I might also be a super taster. I'll have to try this out tonight at home.

So I looked a bit more closely at my idea for going to museums on their free days. Turns out that SFMOMA closes at 6 and the Asian Art Museum closes at 5 on weekdays. The only one that accomodates the public on weekdays (especially on their free days) is the California Academy of Sciences. They're open till 8:45 on Wednesdays. I'm going tomorrow night!

Happy Tuesday... or Happy Tuesday for Californians. If you live in California and you have even a slight distaste for those waker-uppers, those disturbers of meals, those people who call you just to sell you something you don't want, you can now put your name on a no-call list, and they can't bother you any more!! You can read more about this at the FTC's No-Call information page.

In other news, the last remnant of the awful awful awful morning show Sarah and Vinnie are now off the air. Thank god. Not sure if the replacements are better, but at least those two are gone.

And for those feeling jealous of our nice weather this past weekend, I thought I'd let you know that it's raining today.

It's a good morning.