Be your own Disneyland.

Tuesday, August 31

Lack of focus abounds here in the office, especially in my cube. The sites I have been absorbed with today have good stories and good pictures:

Que Sera Sera, Meet the Missus, or How I Got Married In Front of CBGB's

HelenJane, a site I just keep losing and finding and treasuring over and over again.

Superhero Journal, always good for a story and a photo. - flowers! for your hands!!

Sunday, August 29

I never really thought the phrase "pull my finger" was funny. Until today, when it had me a mere three inches from literally rolling on the floor. Several times. I'm giggling a bit even now.

Here's to channeling the 12 year-old boy in all of us.

My cell phone has finally gone wonky. No more display for me. I can make and receive calls, but the screen is blank, so caller id is out, as is any certainty that I'm calling the right person. If you think I should have your phone number, would you please send it to me? Thanks!

On a related note, does anyone have any recommendations for a phone? I don't really want a cameraphone, I don't need internet access, and if it has a regular phone ring, that would be awesome. Oh, and Sprint is my provider.

On another related note, I have heard that there are those who can fix or replace screens so that I don't have to shell out big bucks to get another phone. Does anyone have more information on this subject, such as where to find these people?

Ren Faire today was interesting, being in regular clothes and all. I don't think I want to do that again. And after 2 spectacular days here in the Bay area, I got to witness the slo-motion takeover of the fog, which is what I'm watching roll down the street again.

Sleeepy now. Zeitgeist rocks, but sometimes I am defeated by the hour and the cold. Brrr.

Friday, August 27

Jessa and I have compared notes, and come to the conclusion that it's a really good thing we don't both have crappy weeks at the same time, or our respective worlds would probably implode.

It's good to have friends who will take your crap, and then feel ok giving it right back (but wait till the next week to do it).

I don't have too much that's really special or unusual planned for the weekend, but I'm really excited that it's here.

Thursday, August 26

No burden needs to be shared alone if you can shake off your vanity and self-image and accept the help of people who want to give it. - Danny Gregory, Everyday Matters
This is the most amazing book. Now I want to draw.

Stops and starts ...

I have been trying to say something all week. For instance:
I think I went to my first rave on Saturday night, and I didn't really like it. <- stupid

Where I work, it is still sunny and somewhat warm, even at this hour.... <- whiny and old

Finally, from yesterday afternoon ... Just had a conversation with a coworker that started out with Why you should fall to your knees (I bought a mug!), which led to kissing feet, which continued on to Good Friday and the practice of kissing Jesus' feet, to Mary Magdalene and her washing his feet with her hair and some olive oil, to the benefits of using olive oil as a conditioner. Time to go home, I think. <- random! much better

And today ... My world has been extremely un-commentable lately. Which is not necessarily a bad thing. I went out last night to Slims and saw The Skyflakes, a band I randomly saw months ago at a Locus Arts event that MJ had invited me to so that we could see Annie Lin. There were other excellent bands there too, but I don't remember all their names. It was fun. I bought a CD. I got 5 hours of sleep. This weekend, it's dinner and drinks with Katie and Co. (and Jay too!) and going to a Ren Faire in Golden Gate Park. Jessa and I will not be in garb. Nope, a little too close to home for that sort of thing. We're closet faire geeks after all. <- life update, which is why you're here anyway, right?

Funny anytime: Pimp your kids [via Ernie] <- and the humor. Can't leave out the humor

Friday, August 20

Jon sent me this: Beyonce's Hair Is Worth Millions, and the following conversation ensued ...

Me: "L'Oreal also retains the right to inspect her hair, as long as she gets two weeks' notice." I get a mental image of baboons picking nits from her hair
Jon : hahah
Jon : I thought she should do a Pepsi commercial
Me: whoosh!
Isn't it great that today's Friday? I'm ecstatic.

Thursday, August 19

My friend Les wants to go to Pavlodar City in northern Kazakhstan in December or January to visit an orphanage and give gifts to the children, do some activities with them, and maybe even make a pizza or two. Won't you help him get there?

Olympic Sports needed in 2008

I haven't read all of these yet, but the battle rapping and the predictions of Bob Costas' comments on the action are cracking me up.

Wednesday, August 18

Mid-week update:

Last night, I went to the dentist and the hygienist actually told me I do a good job taking care of my teeth. I don't think I've ever had a hygienist say something nice to me about my oral care. And I'm not even very good at keeping up with the flossing. It was weird. I also finished that awful movie I started the other night, balanced my checkbook and paid all my bills. Tonight, I killed one of those things I don't like, did laundry, *and* cleaned my bathroom. It is so sparkly white that I may go blind tomorrow at 6 a.m. when I go in to take a shower.

Looking forward to dinner with my parents tomorrow night and spending the weekend celebrating my friends. And apartment hunting. I have high hopes.

Things, they are looking up!

Monday, August 16

So my plan tonight was to 1) exercise, 2) do laundry, 3) clean the bathroom, 4) go to bed early. Depending on how long this takes, I may still achieve #4, but I doubt it, somehow.

Instead, I messed around on the computer, told myself it would be better to clean than to go to the gym late, had dinner, started watching a really bad movie, thought about cleaning, decided to balance my checkbook but got distracted into seeing if my books were overdue yet, and then reading about Leila's life. And then I thought, hell, we're already overdue for so many other things in life, let's just get it over with and I'll try to clean later on this week.

So let's see, it all started about two weeks ago ... I don't have crappy weeks often. Usually they happen when my hormones go wild, but this time they had help. On the 2nd, our office network was infected by a particularly virulent virus, and my computer was one of the major players in bringing it to its knees time and again. How? I don't know. I don't click on unknown attachments, I don't surf suspect sites ... I do not know how it happened.

But what it meant was a week of waiting for stuff to happen - email to come through, sites to come up, the day to fucking end. I'm not good at waiting. As I mentioned earlier, I did a lot of filing and cleaning and general gossiping around the office. We couldn't work, but we couldn't leave. It was one of the most frustrating experiences I have ever had. Then, sweet release, Friday came and I took the day off to go Home and visit my family and celebrate my parents' 25th anniversary.

The party was great, and everyone had a good time. Even me, and I was still in hostess mode. And then my parents ended my trip by paying me for the gift we had given them. Although I have regained perspective since, it really hurt at the time and I cried most of the 4 hour drive back to my apartment.

Then back into the office on Monday, where things appeared to have regained some normalcy, only to have all voice/data lines into and out of the city of Emeryville severed, so (again) we couldn't work. And we couldn't go home. And everything was already clean. And we were gossiped out.

That was resolved overnight, and we looked forward to a week of catching up. Then my car got hit in the parking lot at work. What looked (to me) like a cut-and-dried resolution has not turned out that way, and now I have to submit a written statement, a diagram, and photos of the damage. In the meantime, my passenger door doesn't close all the way, and there's a big gap where I imagine all sorts of things are entering to live in my car. I hate things living in my car.

And in the background of all this has been a low-level drama from someone I dated the week before this all started. I'm embarrassed to admit that we only had two dates that resulted in all this fallout. Apparently, I waited too long to respond to one of his emails, and was accused of keeping him as a "dirty little secret." I didn't think much on this phrase at the time, as I was just stunned at his reaction. A friend suggested, however, that perhaps he thought I was seeing someone else and was trying to start something up on the side. I laughed. That's quite the joke, considering how long I've been single.

However, he then started commenting on the site, making remarks that, really, only he would know about. So it was obvious that he knew about the site, even though I had never told him about it. And it became more obvious that he had known about it even before we stopped seeing each other. (This is where IP logging comes in handy.) It then occurred to me that perhaps he thought that the fact that I had mentioned a movie we went to see without mentioning him as the person who took me was significant. Like, if I didn't mention him here, that I was keeping him a secret. I'm not sure who he thought I was keeping him a secret from. My adoring fans? My huge readership? Hahahahehehehohoho. That's funny.

I have found this to be a common reaction among people who don't blog. They hear about this hobby, and although I try to explain that most bloggers really don't put everything in our lives on the web for all to read, you can still see it in their eyes, summed up in that final comment they make about how they can't bear to expose themselves like that. Heh. I have told people I don't know more about me in 15 minutes at a bar than I have in the 4 years I've had this site. Besides which, for many bloggers, it is a general rule that we do not mention people who are not online. We figure, if you're not already putting yourself in the public light, then we're not going to do it to you.

So there, Joe. You're not a dirty little secret anymore, not that you ever were to begin with. It's hard to blow people off who aren't there because they have already left to avoid being blown off. I am not in way blaming you for what happened, as I think the reaction is understandable and probably common. I was inconsiderate for not responding to you earlier, and I apologize again. I enjoyed my time with you and would have liked to spend more, but a reaction like that does more to warn me off than anything else you could have done.

So yeah. That's my past two weeks in a nutshell. Crappy. And I get to go to the dentist tomorrow. And look for more apartments. At least the network at work is still running. Oh boy, is it running. I could really take a break from email right about now.

DISCLAIMER: it hasn't been all bad. As mentioned earlier, the anniversary party was fun, Lucia had an excellent party, I got a good haircut (with a friend!) last week, and I saw Shakespeare in the Park last night with Jessa and friends and it was lovely and extremely entertaining, and I have met many many interesting people lately.

It's all in the perspective, and mine will change soon. I find it's easier, sometimes, to immerse myself in whatever I'm feeling at the moment, the better to move past it. This has simply taken a bit longer than I'm used to. I think the constant fog in summer may have something to do with it.

Still here? How are you doing? Long post, eh? Well, turns out I had a lot to say after all. Took me over an hour to write. Here, a baby picture for you. Ain't she a peach? A purple peach?

the cutest baby ever, and don't even try to deny it.
(click on the image!)

Is love really that hard to find? Does it take hard work? different work from what you're doing now? or just a whole lotta luck? Hard to say, but Jon sent me this link to the question Where did you meet the one you love?

Good reading for a sleepy/cranky Monday.

Friday, August 13

This week hasn't been much better than last. Hopefully, next week will improve considerably and all will be well. In the meantime,

Ike Turner's Guide to Restoring America's Honor.

How are you doing, by the way?

Tuesday, August 10

Whoever keeps calling me from 602-393-7352, you'll have to leave a message before I'll call you back.

In fact, that goes for everyone - it's my policy that if you don't leave a message, then whatever you're calling about obviously isn't important enough to require a callback. I'm just not that curious.

Spamusement, more fun than you can shake a stick at. [via Jessa, via Spike]

UPDATE for those of you who can't access the comments:

I seem to be the only blogger who has decided to say anything about this phone number, so I'm the only one who shows up on a search for it. I apologize if you came here looking for answers to who and why.

No, I don't know who the phone number belongs to or why they're calling you. I no longer get calls from it, and frankly, I don't care anymore. Good luck in your search!

Monday, August 9

So you know how those of us who work with computers wonder what we did all day before the advent of the internet?? Apparently we just sat around and tried not to fall asleep to find creative ways to pass the time till we could go home at the end of the day.

Emeryville city workers were kind enough to sever all T1 voice/data lines that serve the city, effectively cutting us off from the outside. This after dealing with a virus that did essentially the same thing to our network all last week. Yay!

I have a very very very clean desk. And all my filing is done.

The Pitman game is hilarious. Too bad I couldn't play this all day at work. [via Tina]

Sunday, August 8

The ability to accept gifts and compliments and kindness is a talent everyone should develop. There is so much meanness and selfishness in the world that when someone wants to give something to you out of the goodness of their heart, because they love you, they're feeling good that day, or they just want to be a good person at that moment, don't cheapen their feelings and sentiments by either 1) refusing to accept, or 2) paying them.

I understand the motivation - you don't want to incur an obligation, you don't think that person should sacrifice to do something nice for you, or you're afraid that if you accept that compliment or gift, it might mean that you are someone worth giving them to. I've been there. I've done that. But how can you justify the pain you cause that other person by denying their kindness? I learned my lesson long ago from a boyfriend who taught me to accept his compliments graciously regardless of how I really felt about their truth.

I've also been on the other side, though, where my gifts, freely given and making me feel really good to be the giver, have been rejected in one way or another. Rather than making me relieved that I didn't have to give after all, all this accomplished was to make me not want to give anything again.

Just say thank you and move on, ok? It won't make you a bad person, and in addition to the joy you get in receiving, you'll be preserving the joy they get in giving. Joy all around, I think it's worth the effort.

Saturday, August 7

They partay was a resounding success. At 11:00 a.m. this morning, I handed my parents an envelope full of money, and told them to look out the front window at the sedan that was parked out there. It was then that I told them we were sending them on a wine tour of Edna Valley wineries.

I'll skip the part where my brothers were late, three balloons popped before we got them to the house, and I never got to take a shower or bake the cake ... and just say that my parents were astonished and happy, my cousins were impressed, and most of our family friends were able to make it after all. They all complimented me on throwing a good party, but really, my brothers came up with the excellent ideas (wine tour and chicken/beef skewers), and it would have been no party at all if they hadn't all made the drive to be here today.

I'm off to take a shower now. Tomorrow I get to see my niece!

Friday, August 6

So I'm Home now. Did I mention that this week sucked? Have I ever expressed how much I like being Home? When I left DC this morning, it was foggy and cold. When I parked in front of my parents' home, it was crystal clear and at least 70 degrees with a slight breeze. And my dog remembers me.

The surprise we have planned for my parents tomorrow is complete. I told them to be dressed nice but comfortable by 11 a.m., and that's all they know.

I'm so excited!

Thursday, August 5

The Sky Is Broken, Moby

This is one of the sexiest songs I have ever heard.

In other news, after a crappy crappy week (how many times can the network implode at work, causing mass desk cleaning and wringing of hands and lost work? and how many people can express their lack of satisfaction with you? and how stressed can you get planning a major family event?), things seemed to come together all at once as soon as I got home tonight.

I called the folks I needed to call, and it turned out that despite the fact that everyone else needed to be contacted weeks ago for reservations, they can indeed do what I need done this weekend. I renewed my library books online. I realized that it's ok not to bake the cake and change my oil tonight, it can be done tomorrow, with much less hassle and better results.

And I saw one of the most beautiful sunsets I have ever experienced.

And a whale.

See? It's going to be ok.

Blondestar customer service, at its best [via Bryan]

I have a theory on the part that movies play in whether a relationship will be good or whether it will end up on the express train down the drain of failed attempts at love.

It's simple - the better the first movie that you see together, the more likely that the relationship will last more than 6 mos and you'll have been happy to have known that person.

My good relationships started with such movies as The Fugitive and Oh Brother Where Art Thou? The worst relationships started with such gems as Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure and Last Action Hero.

There have been exceptions, naturally. I have seen some really good movies with dates that didn't last out the week. But I can honestly say that every relationship that started with a bad movie didn't have a snowball's chance in H-E-Double Hockeysticks.

Just something that's been on my mind lately.

Tuesday, August 3

Gosh, I liked that last post so much, I just left it there so I could keep looking at it all weekend.

I want to be more interesting. I need a project. Any suggestions?